To think renting from people you know changes the dynamic?

[malificent7]

Rented from 2 people i know and was friendly with...as soon as i moved in both stopped talking to me...i am a good tennant and pay rent on time. I think both felt they were better than me. It's no great loss but weird!

Yes; I’d agree and I say that as a LL who rented a flat to family.

I rented my Zone 1 Central London (Chelsea) flat to my DB and SIL.

It was ostensibly supposed to be for a matter of months (1 year at most) and I charged them half the market rate and bought new additional furnishings at the outset so that they would be comfortable. We also set up a tenancy agreement and of course made sure that all safety requirements were met. In short, giving them the security and confidence that the place was theirs as long as they needed.

In practice, though, the reality was somewhat different! It changed the dynamic of our sibling relationship, which had always been slightly uneasy due to differing material circumstances and outlooks on life. I naively assumed that they’d appreciate the gesture and that it would help build a better sibling relationship.

I thought I was doing the decent thing and helping them out....not making anything financially out of it, but helping them at a time of need. They would never normally have been able to live in that area, and I knew that they aspired to it. They had just had their first DC, so it was all a bit pressing.

They ended up staying over 2.5 years, and in all that time refused me access (to check the state of the windows, which were in need of repair).
Never so much as invited me in for a cup of tea during that time.
Made life very difficult when the boiler required servicing (picked holes in the range of dates suggested) and then refused to sign a new tenancy agreement once the initial year was up.
Most annoyingly of all, I’d see my SIL posting photos on her IG page tagged ‘chelsealifestyle’ bigging up a life that was effectively being subsidised by me.

Made me so annoyed, but there was nothing I could do. DM refused to take sides, get involved.
For the sake of greater family unity, there was no option but to suck it up.

Yes; the rent was being paid on time, but when they finally moved out a couple of months ago there was no thank you or acknowledgement that I’d helped them out.

Left a very bitter taste in my mouth. Never again!

It's tough for both sides. Both my ll would never bother speaking to me again, let alone coming round for a cuppa. Weird.

Mine has thrown in surprise bills too as a kind gesture.

@malificent7
I think there is always going to be awkwardness about friends and finances.
But I find it very odd that your LL is foisting unexpected bills onto you. Do you not have a tenancy agreement? What do these bills relate to?

@Aquafaba

Should have evicted them!

I rent to an old neighbour of mine, who I like very much. I did feel the need to put boundaries in place because they would sometimes pop in for a chat if nearby, and our tenancy agreement states I must give reasonable notice to do the same, so it felt a bit odd. I also have difficulties saying no to people, so have to be firm about keeping boundaries.

The unexpected bills though, how can you be expected to pay anything other than rent? Would you accept that from a different LL? Or do you think they're taking the piss?

It was a bit different, since we were working abroad at the time, and renting our house out (to non friends/relatives) via an agency who charged a hefty percentage.

IIRC without exception, friends who told us we were mad to be paying X%, they were renting to best mates, siblings, etc., all had trouble with not paying, trashing the place, or refusing to leave when they eventually returned to the UK and needed the house back.

The only problem we had in over 8 years, was some bastard nicking Dh's childhood collection of Dinky Toys out of the loft. Never did find out who.😈

Yes it does. I rent to my DS and his GF and expat the beginning it was very awkward. I had a conversation with him and it improved but actually I wish they would move on and we could return to him having complete independence. We also subside a lot and they also very rarely invite me in.

I think it depends on the people involved. We've had several of our friends live with us at various stages over the last 12 years. The shortest was for 6 weeks and the longest for 6 months. We're all still just as good friends as before, if not closer. I can see how it could go wrong though.