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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many of your 10 year olds walk to school alone?

33 replies

Danielle32 · 02/09/2019 17:48

My DS is 10. From tomorrow he will have to walk to and from school on his own once, maybe twice a week. He hasn't done this before. Previously, a relative has been taking and picking him up but is unable to on these days. I can walk him half way but not as far as the roads.
It's about a 15 minute walk but he has to cross two main roads. One of the roads doesn't have pedestrian lights and is very busy. He's a sensible boy and we've done a few trial runs that went ok, but I'm worried sick about him crossing the roads. How many of you have ten year olds that walk to and from school alone? Thanks.

OP posts:
kitk · 03/09/2019 19:54

I don't blame you for worrying OP- I'm a worrier too- but you need to gradually give them a bit more freedom and trust regardless. Can you imagine your own 11yo embarrassment if your mum met you at gates to walk home on your first day of secondary school? (My mum did- mortifying!) Remrmber it benefits him to have the freedom as much as you. It won't be easy, but far better to ease into it now than have to relinquish loads of control/freedom when he starts secondary

AlpacaGoodnight · 03/09/2019 20:11

The majority of pupils round my way walk by themselves from the start of year 5

AnnaNimmity · 03/09/2019 20:14

mine did (mostly rode on his bike tbh) but from the spring term of y6 rather than the beginning of it- he was still 10 .

Despite being told to use the crossing on one of the roads, he often decided that he'd cross at a really dangerous place instead.

My dd walked to school in y6 right from the beginning, but I was taking her siblings to a different school so I had no choice.

MT2017 · 03/09/2019 20:18

DD 11 walks around 20 minutes each way, crosses two main roads.

He will be fine!

arethereanyleftatall · 03/09/2019 20:18

Every child I know has walked on their own since 9yo.

JacquettaW · 03/09/2019 23:43

Wish mine could Sad My mum will be going with him on the bus to his new high school for the first week or few as he has ASD and not much road sense

BetsyBigNose · 04/09/2019 02:24

My DDs have walked the 20 minutes to and from school since the start of year 5, so aged 9, with no problems.

I second what @doublesheesh has suggested - we all have the Life360 app on our phones (it's free to download and very easy to navigate). It means you can see exactly where the other person is in real time, even zooming in so you have a 'street view', so you can tell exactly when he has crossed the road that you're worried about (and can relax a little!) We have me, DH, both DDs (aged 10 and 12) and my DM on our Life360 and have marked several places on the map of our city, such as the girls' schools, each of the adults' workplaces, our house, Nanny's house etc. and you can set it up so that you get an alert when someone reaches one of them. So, for example, you can set the app to sound an 'alert' when your DS arrives safely and it will display a message saying "Bob has arrived at Happy Street School" - you can set another for when someone leaves one of your marked places too, so you'll have a rough idea of when to expect him home, which is handy for those occasions when they get distracted and end up chatting/kicking a ball about in the playground for 15 minutes after the end of the day bell has rung!

It can be a bit intrusive if adults are using it though (for the adults, not the children!) in that occasionally my DM will say to me something along the lines of "What were you doing at Sainsbury's at 7:15 this morning?" without me having mentioned it to her! If you experience this, my advice would be to switch off your own location (you will still be able to view everyone else, it doesn't affect the app in any other way) and to explain that you've found it was really running your battery down! It does affect your battery usage (albeit not massively), particularly when someone else is using it to track you, as each time they 'refresh' it their end, your phone has to reconnect and refresh itself, just something to bear in mind.

Just make sure that your DS has enough data on his plan to keep the app running - I've found that on the rare occasion one of my DDs has run out of data and therefore the app hasn't been able to run, I've been quite anxious - more so than I would have been had we never used the app in the first place - just because I've become so used to being able to see exactly where they are at any given moment.

Anyway, it sounds as if you have prepared your DS well - it's always going to be a little nerve rattling the first few times you let them do something new, but I think you seem to have judged his age and the difficulty of the walk properly. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly in the morning and you are able to relax, he (and you!) will get the hang of it in no time!

QueenofLouisiana · 04/09/2019 05:26

Out of 30 yr6 children, I’d expect about half to be walking to/ from school alone in the first few weeks. By the end of the year, almost all (except those with SEND preventing this being done safely) will be doing so.

Just check what school need you to do to let him walk home alone- letter? Form? Nothing at all? It varies from school to school.

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