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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I didn't cross the line? Work related

215 replies

checkthetraderplease · 02/09/2019 12:30

I'm a PA for a relatively medium sized company. I've been in the job about 8 weeks now.

Every year when the company celebrates another anniversary of starting, the MD takes everyone for a lunch, drinks, and we finish by 4pm.

In addition to this, the 'significant' staff get a Harrod's hamper. The task was given to me. Most people got one costing £120, the bigger fish got one for £400.

I was given the task to order them, not the 'number one' PA. I was hired so he could be more hands off with general PA work and accompany the MD more.

Anyway, I was told by the MD that I certainly MUST order myself one (I was not on the usual list).

I did... Except the one I ordered was different. It was £80 and I got it because it had a Harrod's teddy. DS got one when he was born so I thought it'd be nice to have another teddy for him.

Long story short, the number one PA said I really shouldn't have done that as he MD would've wanted the whole £120 spent and he might be quite surprised.

I've no idea what the big issue is (I saved him some money), and the number one PA said it just doesn't work like that.

MD is only holiday for two weeks now so it can't be brought up.

AIBU to think this is a bit silly and I didn't cross and lines? This PA seems very shocked at my behaviour. The MD didn't specify a specific one to order myself. He just said the money he wanted spent on each person.

I have an otherwise really good relationship with the other PA. He is an extremely nice man and very good at his job.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/09/2019 14:40

I have looked for those hampers and can't find them anywhere! Can you link to the ones you mean, OP?

LizzieMacQueen · 02/09/2019 14:43

Thanks @AnchorDownDeepBreath, that makes more sense. In that case it is a little odd that you've done it. Not a good thing when you're so new to the job.

The tax question still holds though, unless your company has a PAYE settlement agreement then you, as employee would be liable.

Danni91 · 02/09/2019 14:45

Will the MD actually find out?

I think you did cross the line with this. Sorry OP.

Whats the chances of him finding out & calling you out on it?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/09/2019 14:45

Chalk it up to experience. Nobody died. If you wanted the teddy you should have bought it. You know that now. Just keep the explanation as you felt cheeky as you’d only just started. You realise this was silly and will follow instructions to the letter next time.

AccioCats · 02/09/2019 14:45

HollowTalk

‘I have looked for those hampers and can't find them anywhere! Can you link to the ones you mean, OP?’

I couldn’t either but I like the look of the Belgravia hamper Grin

HeadintheiClouds · 02/09/2019 14:46

I seem to be in the minority... Genuinely can’t see an issue with this? Op will not be opening the hamper during the working day and displaying the teddy on her desk? Nobody will know any different.
Crossed a line? Special treatment? Not in my eyes Confused

HeadintheiClouds · 02/09/2019 14:47

Oh, ffs! As if the MD will find out and “call her on it”!

RollingRedHills · 02/09/2019 14:47

I guess you weren't given a budget to spend on a treat if your choosing, you were chosen to order yourself the specific company hamper. Other people May think you're getting special treatment as they may say "oh well I'd rather have the cash if we can choose what we want" etc.

Whoops75 · 02/09/2019 14:51

Chocs and booze are pretty generic
Teddy and fizz is more romantic imo

You should have ordered the same as the others.

BumbleBeee69 · 02/09/2019 14:51

Today 13:23 BumbleBeee69

Don’t understand the relevance of you needing to mention the accountant being Muslim..

‘because despite being Muslim he wanted his hamper, including the ALCOHOL.’

Didn’t you realise some Muslims drink alcohol?

I think you need to direct that question to the OP.

fascicle · 02/09/2019 14:52

Amazed at the number of posters who think OP has made a mistake by ordering a cheaper hamper for herself. (And why would anyone be happy to work for a company that thinks that way?!)

GlitteredAcorns · 02/09/2019 14:59

It must be pretty rotten for other members of staff who are not considered 'significant'. I don't believe for a second they don't know that other members of staff are being called to collect their hampers and they're not. I wonder how the company decides who is relevant enough...

AccioCats · 02/09/2019 15:00

fascicle It’s really not that amazing. The point is that it’s not simply about the monetary value. She was able to choose a gift she specifically wanted whereas others didn’t.
To be honest, having browsed the Harrods’ hampers (Yeap, sad I know!) there are quite a few which are cheaper than 120 but which to me would be a much better present than booze and cheese.
You may not agree with the way the MD is operating the company but I don’t think it’s amazing that he wants parity across staff in the gift. It’s also the fact that the gift is from him as having overall charge of running the business. If someone instructs the gift that they are giving, it’s not really ok to choose something you prefer - not the PA’s decision, not her money to spend.

DarlingNikita · 02/09/2019 15:04

God, some people on here are proper righteous jobsworths!

Beautiful3 · 02/09/2019 15:05

I personally don't think you did anything wrong apart from, you didn't think you were worth it. Did you feel as though you couldn't order yourself an expensive hamper? You are worth it, next time the boss tells you to order yourself one, you get it!

elvis86 · 02/09/2019 15:07

God, some people on here are proper righteous jobsworths!

I think some people on here are very naive.

Not to appreciate that being told to include yourself on an order of corporate gifts is not tantamount to being told to buy yourself anything you fancy up to the same value.

As another poster said earlier, it would make me uneasy to think that someone I was giving financial responsibilities genuinely didn't think anything of playing scenarios to their advantage.

HeadintheiClouds · 02/09/2019 15:08

There isn’t parity across the staff. Some get one worth £400, others £120.

Dangerfloof · 02/09/2019 15:08

And why would anyone be happy to work for a company that thinks that way?!
Its appreciation though. I love that every year at Christmas I get (the exact same as everyone else) hamper from my workplace. Its fancy, it's a huge gesture, I dont even like everything in it but will give some as gifts. We will swap with others at work etc. The money has to be spent apparently. Plenty of staff have said they would prefer the money instead. But I like that we all get a fancy swanky hamper. No one is treated differently from the md to the floorsweeper.
It's a well off company, the owner likes to do this, the workforce in general is happy. And in general I love working there.

AccioCats · 02/09/2019 15:08

Beautiful you’re psychoanalysing too much! The OP chose it because she preferred the gifts in it, she said so!

Danni91 · 02/09/2019 15:09

Oh, ffs! As if the MD will find out and “call her on it”!

Well you should calm down, that's the whole point of asking.

If there's no chance of him finding out then there is zero issue here, if there is a chance of him finding out then could be a potentional issue but 'what are the chances of him finding out AND calling her out on it?' Probably unlikely

AccioCats · 02/09/2019 15:10

HeadintheiClouds

‘There isn’t parity across the staff. Some get one worth £400, others £120’

Parity across staff at each particular level. That was fairly obvious.

BlingLoving · 02/09/2019 15:12

It's not the end of the world and it sounds like you handled it correctly by apologising to the other PA and assuring him you won't do it again.

More importantly, chalk this up as a lesson - in this office, they want yo to follow instructions. You need to understand where the MD is coming from and even if that place is weird and stupid (the £100 roses thing is a classic - I know people who I am related to who are like this and who think the absolute amount of money is the important part. These are people who might find the absolute perfect gift for their mother, but will feel guilty because it's £10 less than what they spent on their father....). Once you understand his perspective, you'll learn when a bit of initiative is helpful. But the key thing to understand is that your job is to help him meet HIS objectives, whatever those may be.

on a side note, for a medium size company to only hand out hampers to some staff seems like far more of an issue to me than the independent choosing being done here! I'd have thought hampers for a very small select few, or for everyone....

escapade1234 · 02/09/2019 15:13

I think the issue is that it looks as though, rather than being slightly embarrassed to receive such a generous gift when you’ve been there for such a short period, you’ve actually taken quite a bit of time to browse the website and choose exactly what you want. It does looks a little bit grabby, even though its monetary value is less than the others.

DarlingNikita · 02/09/2019 15:13

playing scenarios to their advantage.

What a drama llama Grin She's not Nick fucking Leeson.

AccioCats · 02/09/2019 15:16

escapade1234- must have taken a while because I’ve browsed the website and I can’t see a hamper with a Harrods teddy, olive oil, Chocolate, bubbles and a bottle opener!

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