To not want to go to DH's family celebrations

[user87382294757]

anymore due to the fuss over food? In his family every person's birthday the whole family is invited over. Which would be fine apart from the fuss over food.

For example, there are always many many puddings and cakes, cue his sister or niece dramatically saying they 'feel sick' or 'I don't like any so not having any' and storming off.

They also try and keep giving you food, especially cakes and pizza type things even when you have eaten some already, despite not eating any for themselves and just sulking and eating salad.

it always seems to revolve around some drama, with the family member hosting, huffing that the others are not eating, and the others seemingly huffing at the food

It is a shame as seems to always cause problems and I have started wanting not to go now. I especially don;t want it to happen on my birthday or the DCs, and thinking of just having our own family. I also worry about the affect on the DCs as they have started doing the same with them (in terms of keeping offering food and not stopping when they have had enough- this can be a problem as they act offended if you say no).

AIBU in just having our own family birthdays due to this?

Obviously do your own dc's birthdays as you want to, but it seems a bit extreme to not attend any family celebrations unless there is a lot you haven't said.

Yes we still would attend if invited but maybe just not hold a big family birthday with extended family for the DCs..perhaps. Think that might seem a bit rude though. It is happening almost month atm as quite a lot of them and kind of had enough of the drama

YANBU not to have 'family' parties for your DCs' birthdays - surely the DCs would rather have a party or activity with their friends rather than bunch of adults anyway?

However, I think YWBU not to go to parties that they invited you to for their own birthdays. The food issue sounds more like a mild irritation than a massive deal, to be honest. Lots of people keep offering you food when they're hosting - it's annoying, but not the end of the world.

Is food/eating something that's a sensitive issue for you in general, by any chance? Because it sounds from your comments as if it might be.

No, it's not an issue for me, but it is for Dh's family as they have eating disorders, well a history of them anyway.

Invite them. But give them a later time than your family. Serve all the nice food and bday cake before they get there. Clear it away before they do and put out just salad for them.

I don't really care if they just want to eat salad - it is just the drama and guilt inducing stuff that goes with it which gets to me. and it is unfair on whoever's birthday it is. Makes a bad atmosphere.

My IL's relish in looking online at menus to choose a restaurant, choosing somewhere then arriving and complaining that they don't have anything good on the menu - which the saw before they picked the damn place.
They all order things that arent on the menu and then cause a scene because its not what they wanted.

I've apologized to so many staff.
I try to joke, "ooh - a 6 page menu, surely you'll be OK this time!"

They're just flippin horrible to dine with at the best of times, the kids table is less fussy.

Yes the kids table at these family meals is fine compared to the adults also!