to ask the courts to double barrel my son's surname?

[Spanckd]

Considering abuse against me and my son has been proven, ex has no access, needs to go on a DVPP, and lives 200 mike's away? It's really hard that my son who's nearly one so still tiny, is completely different surname wise to the family he lives with. I'm not going to even try and remove my exes name entirely. It would be a fruitless task as I know it is never allowed, but I would like to double barrel

As I understand it, your ex has to consent to a name change.

Without that it may not be legally possible

You can however call the child what you like, he can have a known as name

My son has this, but obviously his passport and bank details are in his other surname.

When 16, your child can Change his own name by deed poll if he so wishes

It's relatively common for a child to have an official name but be known by another name informally. That's probably your simplest option

In Scotland you can legally change a surname on a birth certificate by filling in forms, no court is needed. You do need permission from the other parent though, which seems unlikely in this case. As others have said, you could just use a known-as name.

Sorry I should've been clearer. I have an injunction against my ex due to his abuse. I would be approaching the courts to ask for permission to change it on the grounds that it is not safe to approach my ex. Wouldn't using a name that's not on my son's birth certificate or official documents confuse him when he's older or get me in trouble? I have signed him up to nursery under my name and think I might just have to let them know it's not his real name.

If you are going to be claiming for free nursery hours when he is 2 or 3, you will need to claim under whatever name he legally has at that time. You can have another known as surname, but this could become tricky when he goes to school or does exams as his birth name will be different.

I had this
I just called my son my my surname
I.e N smith rather than N Jones
As soon as he got old enough we changed it by deed poll
Didn’t need to ask ‘father’ at all
Job done and dusted

You won't be able to get exam certificates or a passport in the new name, so if you want it done properly go to court. You will probably succeed.

It's relatively common for a child to have an official name but be known by another name informally. That's probably your simplest option

Not really anymore. Schools will want the consent of both parents to do this now whereas a few years ago they just had Ka against their names.

School do not ask for consent of both parents. Our school use my son's "known by" name. He will turn 16 before his GCSE entry (November birthday) so we will deed poll then so his GCSE certificates are in the name he uses. His dad refused consent to deed poll it now.

If you are going to court to change it then why not just get it changed to your name? Not double barrel. I would.

I don't think any court would agree to changing it completely.

School do not ask for consent of both parents. Our school use my son's "known by" name. He will turn 16 before his GCSE entry (November birthday) so we will deed poll then so his GCSE certificates are in the name he uses. His dad refused consent to deed poll it now.

Not asking both parents is becoming less and less common. Schools are getting caught in the middle too often so are becoming far more reluctant to give children KA names without consent of everyone with PR.

@Spanckd In your position you should go to court and request the change. With documented abuse you have a good chance of winning.

The court may allow a change of name entirely in your circumstances, but I'd have thought they wouldn't prevent double barreling.

I second last poster. They may agree to change it entirely due to proven abuse and the fact he's not allowed to contact you. His BC will remains the same but you'll be given a deed poll.

You may have more options available because of the abuse - if you’re adding your name and not taking the exes off, I think they’re likely to consider it if not allow it.

Have you got access to a lawyer? One who helped you with the action against the father? Ask them.

Failing that, look at Rights of women, rightsofwomen.org.uk/ they are an organisation that is set up to help women such as yourself navigate legal process

They should be able to look at your details and give their opinion on how courts may view things, and help you to set things up

The court may agree to a total change without double barrelled. Go to court as either outcome is good for you.

You can definitely use another name in school and nursery as most do not ask for documents. I did this for my daughter when I got married l, she was 7 and all her certificates are in that name.

I have very similar circumstances. Court granted me double baralling no issues despite my ex's protests. Their legal name is now their double barrell :)

You can definitely use another name in school and nursery as most do not ask for documents. I did this for my daughter when I got married l, she was 7 and all her certificates are in that name.

Schools are having to be much tighter on this now than they used to be.

Anything official you have to use the name he was registered, so yes, change nursery asap.

My sister just changed my nephews surname due to similar circumstances to yours. She simply applied to have it changed. For the father to stop the change HE would have had to take HER to court within a certain amount of weeks, which he didn’t. It was quite a simple procedure really

My son is known by my surname, I changed it in the drs etc when he was 1, he is now 15 and there has never been an issue. When he started school and nursery I put his real name and his known by name, all letters etc have come with known name from drs, dentist, school. Theres never been an issue. Obviously passport etc is different. When he is 16 he will officially change it. He was born before both parents gained parental responsibility though so it's just me who has it. I dont think you need dads permission to change known by anyway. I'm sure once they have been known by a certain name by 6 years? You can then officially change.

My DC have their dad's surname, which is different to mine - say mine is Smith and theirs is Brown. Everyone, school etc, always refer to me as Mrs Brown. Pisses me off no end.

I know for a fact their 'D'F (also abusive and obviously an ex) will not let me change their surname, and I wouldn't want to, as they have a huge extended family with that surname, whereas I have nobody left in my family.

So, what I want to do is simply add in my surname as an additional name, no double barreling, eg DD would be known as A Smith Brown. I don't think the ex can object to that, as it won't be changing their actual surname.

I dont think you need dads permission to change known by anyway

You do. Things have changed a lot in this area in the last few years.

Well my son only changed his known by name just o we a year ago and 2 schools, the dentist, doctor and optician are all happy to use it (even though it isn't the same as mine either - it is my husband's surname) and nobody has even batted an eyelid. So I don't think things have changed that much.