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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit pushy and weird?

65 replies

Lily2811 · 02/09/2019 11:05

I put a notice out a couple of days ago online for a builder to do some work in my house. A local builder has now rang me seven times in a row (I work 14 hour shifts so haven't called him back as I've only been able to talk before 7am or after 10pm) and text me! AIBU to think this is a bit pushy and weird?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lily2811 · 02/09/2019 15:47

@GammaStingRay thank you. Not nice to get but I'll be alright. Just glad I didn't invite him into my home!

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 02/09/2019 15:48

I don’t know. Why post on here while claiming you have no time to call him back? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Lily2811 · 02/09/2019 15:48

Also to head in the clouds, I wouldn't bother the police with it. They are extremely over stretched as it is.

OP posts:
healththrowawayx · 02/09/2019 15:49

Sorry but I think you should have just text him after you realised the missed calls were from someone replying to your advertisement, waiting for your day off to call back due to your awkward schedule could give the impression that you’re just ignoring them. (Obviously this guy is rude/weird, but you may get calls from others in the future)

Original poster
Lily2811 · 02/09/2019 15:50

I didn't call him back because I was freaked out by the repetitive calling.

OP posts:
SerendipityJane · 02/09/2019 15:52

If you posted the ad on something like ratedpeople.com then the tradespeople have to pay a fee to get your contact details - might explain why he's so keen to get hold of you - nobody likes to waste money.

The one time we used ratedpeople, each person who quoted did ask (quite nicely) that we used the site to indicate we'd declined their quote. Certainly back then it triggered a refund for the lead (I think you bid for it ?). (Although now we'd rather have dental surgery without anaesthetic than use any of these sites again).

ReTooth · 02/09/2019 17:07

Why would he send an abusive message? That's odd. What did it say?

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 02/09/2019 17:11

I'd love it if a builder phoned back.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/09/2019 17:46

Builders, like most other tradespeople, are desperate for work

Not round my way they're not - at least not the good ones, but I wouldn't put someone who leaves abusive messages in quite that bracket

You didn't say which site you posted the job on OP, but if it's the one I used you've probably had a lucky escape. The two "skilled tradesmen" I found that way are the only people I've ever had to chuck off a job, so in future it's back to recommendations or nothing - and not the posted "reviews", which I learned to my cost can easily be faked or even bought

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/09/2019 17:54

If you posted the ad on something like ratedpeople.com then the tradespeople have to pay a fee to get your contact details

Well, you live and learn; I thought traders paid for overall access to such sites, but didn't realise they have to stump up for each individual job

Maybe this explains those who get enough work through word of mouth not bothering, leaving it for too many who nobody would recommend?

Justlovedogs · 02/09/2019 17:59

OP - I'm assuming you posted with someone like MyBuilder or the like? If so, the builder has paid the advertising company to get your phone number. Having been the person trying to make contact with someone, it is really annoying when someone posts a job, you pay for the contact details (anything up to £25 or £30) and then can't get an answer, so you do keep trying! If you want the work looked at, I suggest you text back with a suitable time to either talk or meet.

AlrightOkNow · 03/09/2019 12:37

It doesn't matter if OP doesn't want to call back, that's her prerogative, if she's busy she can call back 2 days later FFS. Abusive messages are not on! My opinion from having worked with builders in the past is that, if the builder is so desperate that they're harassing you like that, they don't have any work which is always a bad sign and you've got to ask why that is.

Yes, builders are awful for calling back but if you're the kind of person to harass someone, you're the kind of person to move goalposts and be demanding. Think of it as the start of a relationship (I think of it as a working relationship of sorts anyway), if someone were saying all this on the relationship boards, MN would be up in arms but in this situation people expect OP to allow this person into her home?

You did the right thing OP.

Original poster
Lily2811 · 03/09/2019 15:01

@HennyPennyHorror what did you think I was gloating about 😂😂 yeah I'm so proud and wanna show off that a builder called me seven times? Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Lily2811 · 03/09/2019 15:02

@AlrightOkNow thanks. Just so glad I didn't invite this person into my home now they've shown their true colours!!!

OP posts:
Brefugee · 03/09/2019 16:24

I think YWBU not to call him when you realised he'd called (more than once).

He is being much more U and revolting for leaving the message.

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