I’ve never known it happen, either to me or anyone I’m close enough with to know the details. It’s an overplayed trope in romcoms isn’t it? Someone dumps you, then you get the last laugh because they regret it deeply but you’ve moved on. Or they chase you to win you back and you get the satisfaction and healed heartbreak.
But in real life it’s rare. To get to the point of dumping someone, usually it’s been in the leaver’s mind for quite a long time, they’ve wrestled with it, tried to convince themselves they don’t feel that way and tried to make it work. When consider the emotional upheaval and stress breaking up causes both to the dumpee and the dumper (it’s hard to hurt someone you care about!), the ripples amongst social group, loss of in law family ties, possible trauma to any shared children, having to move house, financial loss, impact on mental health etc. it’s not a decision many people take lightly. When you’ve been dumped it can feel out of the blue but it rarely is for the dumper.
Every time I’ve dumped or been dumped it’s been the right decision and for the best and I’ve seen that pretty quickly even if I was the heartbroken one. My exes and I are all in better places and with more suitable people or doing good things with our lives.
My recent ex as an example, we split after nearly three years as I was ready for kids and despite saying when we got together he wanted them too around the same age as I did, when crunch time came he realised he didn’t want them soon if ever and didn’t know when or he he’d want to be a father. He was quite a dreamer type, wanted to travel and focus on his band and stuff whereas I was more career minded and ready to settle down and have babies. We split, his decision though within a few days I realised it was inevitable. I met my OH a few weeks later and was honest from the start about planning a family within a few years, I only wanted to date guys who also were ready to settle down and start a family. We’ve been together three years, bought a house this year and are getting married in two weeks and are expecting our first in December. My ex has ended up single again after another relationship, but has moved to Asia to teach and travel. We’re not friends or in touch and I have no desire to be but I know from hearing from friends where his life is at the minute that he’s doing what’s right for him and his dreams just like I am too, we’d never have been able to both achieve that together.