In feeling hopeless?

[DayDreamer387]

I am struggling substantially after a bereavement of one of my closest supporters in a very fragmented family. I’m only 24, and I feel as if I have no family at all now.

I struggle with Aspergers and have no close friends and no social circle.

I am petrified that when I graduate from
university, I am going to struggle in the real world. I just can’t get past the online tests for graduate jobs.

I feel so hopeless, and that I am a waste of a life. Sometimes I wish that I could switch places with someone who has terminal cancer - they could have all of the years I would have ahead of me to spend time with their family, whereas I would be guaranteed to pass away sooner rather than later, this saving me a life time of loneliness, failure and misery.

I’m sorry for being on such a downer here - that’s how I feel. :(

???

Sorry that you’re feeling so down :(
There are lots of jobs that I’m sure you will be able To apply for without the initial part. You should be able to explain that you have aspergers and this will be taken into consideration.

As for how you’re feeling at the moment - have a search online for some support. There will be a local number you can call for mental health support or the someone like the Samaritans to have a chat with someone.

I’m happy for you to message me if you want!

Speak with your GP, call the Samaritans. Do anything but think yourself unworthy. We can all have these moments in life and whilst I don't know you I can tell you categorically that your existence on this planet is valid and worthy. You just haven't found your feet yet and going through bereavement. When my twin died I also wanted to die. But do you know what? She'd have probably murdered me had I done something mad to 'reunite' with her. Just keep talking and allowing the emotions to run through you and out.

Hey OP. It's all going to be alright. I promise you things always always get better eventually.

Please try not to worry too much about things like graduate jobs at the moment, life has a funny way of sorting itself out. Just try to take it day by day instead of being concerned about the future.

You need to talk to someone about this all OP as your situation would be hard for anyone to deal with and process. If you feel like you don't have any family and friends to go to then make an appointment with your GP and see if you can get some counseling. Sometimes you can self refer to counseling on the NHS without going to your GP depending on the area you're in, it's worth checking if this is the case for you.

If you're feeling like you need to speak to someone urgently then please give the Samaritans a call.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

You are still grieving the loss of this person and it does get over the death of someone who was close to you - I know this because I lost my mother at a young age and my best friend who was like a sister to me. my mother has been dead over 30 years and my best friend over 12 years and I still miss them both but I have learned to enjoy life without them and that is what they would have wished for me - I am sure the person you have lost feels exactly the same and would hate to think of you suffering without them. Make an appointment to see your doctor so you can get some counseling you need to talk to others who are going through the same thing so you can get some support.

All the best

Jessie x

it does take time to get over sorry about that garbled bit