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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to withdraw my 8 year olds from the playcentre residential trip?

22 replies

ScummyMummy · 07/08/2007 19:38

My 8 year old twins started a 2 week stint of daily attendance at a local playcentre yesterday. First impressions are that it's just about good enough. Ish. A mediocre affair with very young staff who neither love to play nor have great organisation skills. Most staff were clustered in the kitchen when we arrived this morning, for example, with only one person trying to interact with a large group of rather bored looking kids. I could find no one with whom to discuss the sad saga of my son's lost lunch box and left hoping that things would get better through the day and that supervision would be sufficient. At the end of their first day yesterday the boys' verdict seemed to be that it had been "boring".

On the plus side, the staff mentioned to my partner yesterday that there was a trip to farm on Wednesday and asked if he'd like to put the boys' names down. He duly did and we wondered where farm was as we've never heard of it despite being local... Today at pick up all became clear as the boys excitedly informed my partner that they would need sleeping bags and toothbrushes for the morrow. It transpires that farm is far from local since it is in fact in Glastonbury and that the intended trip is a residential two nighter.

Am I being over protective to want to withdraw the boys from the trip? I feel that the very fact that we've only just been informed about the residentialness the night before departure is a v bad sign and as I say, I haven't been bowled over by the staff, who all seem very young and not very organised. We've been given no information about the place by the playcentre. I did look it up online and phone up the manager. The website looks ok but according to the manager there are no staff employed on site to work with children so they would be completely in the hands of the playcentre staff for safety and fun.

What shall we do? Boys are excited and apparently places went like hotcakes and the trip is full so we'd have taken places from people who wanted them all for naught. And it'd be an awkward one to explain ("er we think you're not skilled enough to look after our kids...") Please advise!

OP posts:

MABS · 07/08/2007 19:40

go with yr gut feelin Scummy, I would xx

Greensleeves · 07/08/2007 19:41

I would go with your gut feeling. IIRC you have enough experience and know-how to make reliable judgements on things like this. And if I were in the slightest doubt, I wouldn't let my boys go anywhere.

You don't have to explain yourself to the staff, it's none of their damn business. You do have to explain it to the boys though - tricky - could you invent some other irresistible treat to replace it? Mine are younger, so it wouldn't be as difficult.

Ladymuck · 07/08/2007 19:41

I think you just have to say that there has been a misunderstanding and that you thought that it was a day trip. Wouldn't say anytihgn else to the staff.

It is what you say to the children that is more difficult!

lulumama · 07/08/2007 19:42

i would not let them go

if you feel they are not getting adequate attention at the centre, why would they when they are away....

say they are poorly if necc. and take boys somewhere else for a treat

WideWebWitch · 07/08/2007 19:43

I wouldn't send them Scums but I am a bit wussy about this - happily let ds go when it's somewhere/one I know but a bit pathetic about someone I don't. Very bad sign re the carers I think. They will ignore the kids, smoke fags and drink scrumpy etc. (nothing wrong with either btw unless you are in charge of lots of children who are NOT your own!)

I think you have to come up with something to appease your boys though who will be disappointed, can you do something equally lovely with them so they have something else to look forward to, something you're happy about? (you're welcome to come here, play football with my ds, have a picnic followed by home cinema if you fancy it!)

I think you can probably tell the centre why they're not going if you're brave or just bottle out saying you're not letting them go (you don't have to give a reason) if you're not. And if it's so popular they'll fill the places, I wouldn't let that worry you. They only told you YESTERDAY! So it can't be that oversubscribed, surely. Are you sure it's not an excuse for centre workers to get away?

Kaz33 · 07/08/2007 19:43

Go with your gut feeling.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 07/08/2007 19:44

I wouldnt send them.

LaDiDaDi · 07/08/2007 19:47

I wouldn't let them go. It all sounds very disorganised and I can't help but feel that supervision would be lacking and risk assessment nil.

GoingThroughChanges · 07/08/2007 19:50

Don't send them.

I have a local playscheme that dd goes to 2 days a week. They wouldn't acept anyone to the playscheme that didn't go during the year to their after schools play club.

My dd had a farm trip today, not a residential, and she loved it. Though I have faith in the playscheme staff & know they are well organised & they keep parents very well informed about upcoming events etc...

In your case I would say no & take them somewhere else for a treat

amidaiwish · 07/08/2007 19:56

No way!
sounds like the staff are at a loss for things to do to occupy them and have just dreamt this thing up. no way no way no way.

TwoToTango · 07/08/2007 20:02

sounds terrible - my DS goes to a playscheme and has never once said he was bored. Quite the opposite. All the trips they go on are arranged well in advance - we know when they are what time, how much etc before the scheme even starts. there may be the odd local trip to a park etc. if the weathers good.

I think I would find another playscheme.

edam · 07/08/2007 20:08

Hello scummymummy! Haven't bumped into you on a thread for ages...

Anway, there is no way I would send ds off on such a badly organised trip with people who hadn't impressed me as being particularly keen child-carers in the first place. I'd rather ds was disappointed than not well looked after. Beggars belief the playscheme didn't tell you it was residential and only mentioned it at the last minute.

Like the idea of arranging another treat for your twins to make up for their disappointment.

Original poster

ScummyMummy · 07/08/2007 20:23

Oh thank you SO much, everyone. What wise and lovely advice. That's as unanimous a NO WAY as I've ever seen on an AIBU thread, I think! I'm really pleased that no one thinks I'm being an unreasonable wussmeister. I've told the boys that I'm really sorry but they can't go as I'd miss them too much and I haven't had time to get used to the idea of them going. They weren't quite as disappointed as I'd feared actually and I've promised them a trip to the toyshop instead. Thnak you thank you thank you. I feel so much better!

p.s. WWW that is a lovely offer. I will have to take you up on it one day.

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 07/08/2007 21:27

I SO want to say YABU now - but I can't . Don't send them.

mm22bys · 08/08/2007 10:49

YANBU. I wouldn't send them either. 8 is very young to go away for two nights, even with the best care.

Baffy · 08/08/2007 10:55

Definitely the right decision. Always go with your gut feeling on things like this.

Glad they seem happy with the toy shop idea too

wheresthehamster · 08/08/2007 11:09

All sounds shambolic to me and I wouldn't be happy for them to go for the rest of the 2 weeks either.

Original poster

ScummyMummy · 08/08/2007 19:31

Well, it didn't go so badly. I went for the over-protective mum excuse and (pointedly) said that us OPMs need longer than 12 hours to adjust to the thought of their babies going away on a residential trip. The playleader did have the grace to look (very slightly) shamefaced.

I do totally take your point, wheresthehamster, but we're pretty low on childcare options. My partner and I are taking time off (2 weeks) at the end of the summer holidays and just don't have any more leave entitlement we can use. Both sets of grandparents have already done a good stint each and I would only call on them again or take unpaid leave in an absolute emergency. I am confident the boys are safe and they are enjoying spending time with the other kids. The staff are uninspired but around and do the basics. Just nothing more. Not good enough long term or on a residential trip but I honestly think the boys will be ok (with tea and sympathy) for the next few days.

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 08/08/2007 20:13

Good, you did the right thing.

roisin · 08/08/2007 20:29

You definitely did the right thing ScummyMummy.

Have your boys' opinions of the playscheme improved any since the first day? I hope they are enjoying it more.

Ds1 is quite happy to bumble around at home for hours at a time doing not very much - covering reams of paper with scrawl and diagrams and pictures of dragons and Pokemon and things.
But if he goes somewhere he has massive expectations of high-octane entertainment and fun!

Original poster

ScummyMummy · 08/08/2007 20:46

Thanks both. Our boys sound similar, roisin. They are enjoying it more because they have re-forged some friendships with kids they haven't played with for a while.

OP posts:

roisin · 08/08/2007 21:02

DS1 complained today that his day had been a bit boring ... by which he meant he hadn't been rock climbing, abseiling, or canoeing! He's doing Daycamps this week, and today was Fell Walk Day. Tomorrow he's got raft building then raft race, and archery apparently - so I think that should satisfy him!

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