To ask why he loves to argue?

[TheMessyCleaner]

DP and I are on the rocks pretty much 80% of the time. Tomorrow I fly out to visit my family with our dd. Tonight I had tickets to a concert and was going with my friends. DP got annoyed that it was our last night together before I went and I was not spending it as a family. So I invited him out to the gig.
He agreed which I never imagined and to begin with it was good. Wasn't his music but he bopped along and made conversation. At the end he was getting a bit twitchy and I just felt his negativity pouring out of him, just because it was quite late. We went out of the venue and I bought some food, he huffed and puffed as they prepared it.
We started walking back when I asked if we were getting an Uber or bus and he just went off on one, saying what a waste of money the whole night was etc and how were we going to get back etc etc.
I then went to join the bus queue and he was gone, leaving me to get a bus then a taxi on my own. I get back and he texts to say that I had abandoned him and that I made it very clear that I hadn't wanted him there all night.
I'm just so sick of these arguments that we've been having since I was 16 years old. He never changes. The only reason things have been slightly less tempestuous is that we don't go out as much. I don't understand why we can't just enjoy a night out and come back and sleep? Why does he always have to argue? Why is he never actually relaxed and happy?

Bump, please help me out

He isn’t happy and neither are you. Why are you still together when you are unhappy 80% of the time? You appear to actively dislike each other.

@dollydaydream114 because we have children and a house and can't afford to live separately and just sometimes we can tolerate eachother enough to think maybe the whole thing is worth it.

because we have children and a house and can't afford to live separately

Well, I think that’s your answer. You’re not together because you love each other, you’re together because you’re trapped, and no amount of wondering why your husband behaves like an arsehole and regularly ruins your evening on purpose is going to make a difference. You resent each other, and he isn’t going to change.

@dollydaydream114 but how do people ever get out of these situations? No one has really done the other one wrong? He wouldn't be able to rent, I wouldn't move out with the kids. I would feel like I was taking them away from him, he would resent me, they would resent me. Is he just supposed to go back to his mum and dad's two bed?

You've been together since you were 16, that's very young. We're all only half baked at that stage although we tend to believe we know & have experienced everything we need to to make decisions for a lifetime. You've grown up & grown apart. It happens with many people. It doesn't make either of you bad people, just very different people to the two 16 year olds who probably believed you were deeply & in love & that it would undoubtedly last forever.

You need to go to a solicitor and start making plans to be freed from the trap.

He loves to argue because he’s an unpleasant dick.

If the scenario you related is typical then it seems like he picks fights when you’re excited or having a good time so you’re ‘kept in your place’ and live in a state or confusion, uncertainty and anxiety.

It’s no way to live.

If you don’t love him (and I can’t see how you could) then you need to leave him. If you want to stay then you need your head looking at frankly.

I am sorry he ruined the end of what sounded like a good night.
Some people are miserable and love to argue, I don't know why but I know what it is like to be on the receiving end, almost like it is guaranteed at the end of the night.
Did his parents argue much.
Drink doesn't suit some people.
Is he argumentative when sober.

He argues with you because he hates you and wants you to be miserable.

It's up to you what you do with that knowledge.