To take a 3 year break?

[lifeisaball]

I have been properly single for about 3 years now but have dated and seen people since then. I have always had issues when it comes to relationships, I am very aware I have an anxious attachment style and find I always tend to find myself with emotionally unavailable men. My self esteem has always been an issue and I seem to go a little crazy when I notice a man distancing himself for me, therefore pushing him away further. To be absolutely honest, I have never graciously let a man go, every single time a man has called things off with me I have made a fool out of myself and won't leave him alone until he physically has to block me.

I'm a 27 year old single mum and am in my third year at uni. I hadn't been actively dating until the start of the summer when I started online dating. I met a guy who completely swept me off my feet (I now understand he was love bombing me) and just as fast as he came on to the scene, he left just as fast. This completely broke me and I have behaved like an absolute crazy person towards him. He has had to block me on everything because I refused to accept it was over and I cringe at the thought of ever running into him in the future.

After this most recent episode, it has become very clear to me that I have a lot of issues that I have to deal with. I am going to pay privately and go and see a therapist as I am positive these issues stem from my childhood and the way I was raised.

My question is I would love to give myself 3 years to just concentrate on me, my daughter and my education. I would like to completely forget about meeting anyone at all for three years and start maybe dating if I'm in a good place when I'm 30. My issue is I worry that all the good men will be taken by then? Am I leaving it too late?

I don't want any more kids so that's not an issue. But realistically if I completely stop dating and being open to meeting people until I'm 30, will I end up alone?

Firstly I think it's good you recognise that your behaviour towards men isn't healthy and agree that some therapy would help get to the root cause of why you behave this way.
I don't think you should necessarily put a time limit on it though as you might meet someone naturally in a year or so (after therapy). 3 years is quite a long time but then again it might take that depending on how you progress with therapy.
I didn't meet my DP til late 20's so I don't think all the 'good' men will be gone!
I wish you well

I don't see any problem with your thoughts on taking a break. It sounds sensible.

You have been really honest and self aware and seem to have a very good understanding of what your problems are, which is very positive. The fact that you can recognise this in yourself at such a young age bodes well for your future. For example, my mum wasted her whole adult life chasing inappropriate men and only saw the light in her 60s, by which time she regretted all the years she had wasted. I think the therapy and a break from trying to find someone will do you the power of good, and who knows, you might actually meet someone by accident when you least expect it. I wish you really good luck!