To wonder what ExH's girlfriend sees in him?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

He was abusive (emotionally and sometimes physically) throughout our marriage. He's overweight, not very attractive, and just an all round twat. We've been divorced for over 8 years (my decision) and this is absolutely not a jealous ex wife post.

He's had a few girlfriends over the years but none have stuck around for more than 6 months. Current one has lasted a year. She's 10 years younger, slim, attractive and according to DD a lovely lady (he hasn't introduced me to her). Her kids apparently hate him and are terrified of him moving in. Although I've never met her I feel some responsibility towards her. I wouldn't interfere but I worry that he's going to move himself in and ruin her life. AIBU?

What did you see in him?

Well yanbu, but I doubt she will listen to anything you have to say to her, unfortunately.
🤷‍♀️

The boards here are full of lovely women questioning whether they should stay with horrendous, cruel, stupid, lazy bastards.

It happens

@NoBaggyPants he wasn't always like that. Unfortunately I didn't realise his true colours until after we got married. Then I left the fucker (but it took me a while as he had me trapped financially).

If horrible natured, cruel & unattractive people couldn't find partners who stuck around long enough to have a family, there'd only be kind people left in the world, since the cruel ones would remain alone & die out.
As this is far from the case, either the world is full of cruel people who lie about who they truly are until their DP is trapped in the rship, or their victims have such low self-esteem that they tolerate behaviour they shouldn't. I'm guessing a mix of both.

I have long thought the relationship lottery has absolutely nothing to do with how ‘deserving’ of a partner you are.

I have some lovely single friends and know some very interesting people in relationships 😃

It's weird isn't it. And I just know that him being able to attract someone like her just reinforces his egotistical view of himself as some kind of prince. I hate the bastard. Wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire.

She sees the same things that made you get involved with him and choose him to contribute half of your child's DNA.

He certainly doesnt sound like Prince Charming does he?!.I have lost count of the number of lovely friends ,and people I know ,who have been /are still in relationships with awful men ,who really take the biscuit for being overweight,abusive general losers that no body in their right mind would be seen dead with!.The problem is its up to her Im afraid .How old is she ?.Sometimes women worry that time is running out for them and they drop their standards a bit.Maybe he is being attentive and she is enjoying the attention?.Unless he is violent then I wouldnt do anything .She will probably think you were just a jealous ex wife!

She's nearly 40...has kids already. Think you're right - stay out of it.

I expect she sees in him whatever you saw in him when you first met. Most abusers aren’t abusive right at the start.