Okay so this is going to be a long post but desperately need advice because I’m not sure if it’s me or mother in law...
I started seeing my husband 2012, he’s an only child and lived up in the valleys where nobody really leaves. I’ve only had one boyfriend before him and got on really well with his mum and we both found it difficult to stop visits once my ex and I split.
Things started off good with my husbands mum within months she seemed to get younger in the ways she dressed etc. We’d go shopping together, speak regularly on the phone but then one day she took me to her friends house where her friend told me my other half had carried on. 🤦🏻♀️ this was proven to be a lie but I don’t understand why his mum would hand deliver me into that situation. If that was me, I’d want to protect my son at all costs and give him a good talking to without his girlfriend present if it was true! Obviously his mum made out she was mortified with her best friend but that could of spilt us up. He moved miles from them to live with me and my parents and we got engaged, but we spent weekends with his parents. still she would do little things like show me photos of previous girlfriends but make out like she came across the photos by accident.
As well as buying our first house stress,
the wedding planning was an absolute nightmare! you would think she was the bride! My parents are laid back but she wanted everything her way and couldn’t understand why I went mad over her wanting to wear a white dress. I just started seeing a completely different side to her from then. I was out on anti depressants from the wedding planning, but I managed to get off them to try for a baby. We got married may 2014 and fell pregnant July 2016.
1st baby... she was way over the top! Buying and buying and was thrilled to find out it was a boy to carry on her family name as she said. They moved house, 20 seconds away from us by car. My son was born and all hell broke, literally! My husband and Midwives wanted to keep his parents and his extended family away because they would come down and pick up my sleeping baby, tell me I looked knackered and only wanted photos of my husband and son together. They didn’t like my parents being present because they were here a lot helping me over my nasty blues, my mother in law kept saying she was being denied her time with my son. I showed clear signs of depression and my family were worried sick about me whenever my in-laws would visit I would shake terrible. Gp put me straight back on antidepressants during that terrible time. There was fight after fight, his mother screamed in my face when my baby was 6 weeks old. Since then I’ve hated them, so much more have gone on it’s unreal! But for my husbands sake I act like nothing has happened. My father in law makes it clear as day he doesn’t like me and my parents, my mother in law is sly about it but still it’s clear.
2nd baby - we wanted a close gap and fell pregnanct may 2018. My family were thrilled, we were thrilled... his parents were not at all! Never asked about scans, showed no interest! Unfortunately we lost our baby at 15 weeks, I went through hell! We all choose to remember our baby and talk about baby although his parents refuse, like something that never happened.
3rd baby - Husbands mother has been better but I can’t get over how sly she is, it makes me so uncomfortable! Since the fights all birthday cards to me from her family have stopped, so it’s just my husband and son that gets now. Although I send cards to everyone! My husbands says to stop because they won’t be getting one off him. But I know my mother in law would send on our behalf and that would make me fuming! Since the terrible experience last August I’ve battled terrible anxiety and depression, experienced panic attacks and a nervous breakdown.
I’ve had to fight for support during this pregnancy but received nothing! Due to mental health help being so limited. I’m dreading the birth and fights starting again, although I don’t think it will be the same because she’s too obsessed with my boy, I don’t think my girl will get a look in. I can’t have both parents in the same room because I hate how funny his parents are with mine, I’m on pins! Don’t get me wrong I now give as good as I get from them because I’m done with taking the crap! My husband knows I hate them, I vocally tell him and he’s grown to realise what they’re like but after all, they’re his mum and dad.
All I wanted was a lovely family but it’s clear she’s slagged me off so much everyone hates me! Do I just ignore and keep as I am or cut them off? I don’t even know how I could with me having her grandchildren. I thought children would bring us closer but she just wants me out of the way! How much do I take until enough is enough?
Sorry for the long post Xx