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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD

17 replies

Careradvice2019 · 30/08/2019 21:56

A sex offender has been released far too early in my opinion .. served his time for good behaviour I'd imagine that why his done 8 years instead of 12 , anyway, the sex offending was lightly mentioned in the papers because of reporting restrictions but came to light as he was serving time for fraudulently taking money from a disabled childs bank account ..this is when the victims of his disgusting depravity came to light ... he got a custodial sentence for it 20 years in total 12 custodial.
Anyway hes out and about grinning on Facebook and working in a distributing warehouse for one of the big 5 !!! .. I suppose he cant be on the shop floor as part of his license was to register as a sex offender
Anyway wwyd .. would you go and hand out leaflets with the whole shebang on..the Fraud that was in the national papers and lightly hinting he was to go on trial for sexually abusing over a dozen children... his face at the time and what he looks like now ... not much different apart from being slimmer
Dont look at it from the outside in .
Think of it as you are one of the mothers of the boys

OP posts:
InterestingView · 30/08/2019 21:58

Yep I would

Original poster
Careradvice2019 · 30/08/2019 22:40

I'm assuming his parole adviser or someone monitoring him would get him the job ? Would the one of the big 5 be privvy to this info..like his line manager,? Would it have been through some sort of get the paedophiles back into society scheme ?
Or would he have just been able to apply himself and no checks be made ?

OP posts:
june2007 · 30/08/2019 22:43

I would rather know where he is and the authorities know then chase him inot hiding so none can keep tabs on him. Remember most of those abused are by abused by someone close to them.

Original poster
Careradvice2019 · 30/08/2019 22:53

Yes I know the families affected.. I'm one of them .. earning a half decent wage and grinning on Facebook
Dont the staff where he is working deserve to know .
My only reservations on doing it , is the parole officer moves him elsewhere and hes more discreet next time ...we lose him completely
Hes only 40 minutes from where I live

OP posts:
Jupiters · 30/08/2019 23:02

I would rather know where he is and the authorities know then chase him inot hiding so none can keep tabs on him
I agree with this... All you are likely to achieve is chasing him underground were it's hard to supervise him, which could put more people at risk.

WhatsMyPassword · 30/08/2019 23:04

You could possibly end up with a criminal conviction yourself or actually in prison. Is that a risk you are willing to take?

You wont like my thoughts. He's served his time. He's working, and I'd rather that and mumping off my taxes on benefits. Do you not think people should work? You could be responsible for driving him underground.

I confess I have no idea what a big 5 warehouse is, presumably it's a supermarket? There would be no DBS checks as he would not be with vulnerable people. I'm going to upset people here, I work in a hospital, I work with staff who have convictions for murder/manslaughter but they are not a risk to others hence being employed. I'll tell you something else too, the hospital only does one DBS check at point of employment, that is the legal requirement.

I don't like vigilantes. The what-if stance doesn't wash with me, it is a pointless debate.

Ponoka7 · 30/08/2019 23:29

I think you need to speak to someone to rationalise what you want to achieve by doing this and if you will actually achieve this and have a level of closure.

I completely understand where you are coming from. It's anger and frustration because life gets to carry on for them.

But exacting revenge could cause you further damage.

Talking through things could help you come to a point were you concern yourself with only acting in your (and the family's) interest.

Littlechocola · 30/08/2019 23:33

Not the right way to go about it although I do understand.
Are you in touch with victim support?

Stompythedinosaur · 30/08/2019 23:49

People on the sex offender register are still allowed to get jobs. I'm sure this is very difficult, but you need to leave it, I think. Harassing him is not going to help.

Sparklesocks · 31/08/2019 00:37

I understand it’s difficult, but what is the alternative? Even if he did the full sentence it would be the same situation - He’s out now, what do you think he should be doing? Not working, staying at home? At least it’s clear where he is when he’s at work and he will be monitored by bosses etc rather than wandering the streets.
There are no easy answers for such a sensitive issue but I don’t know what the alternative would be.

StoneofDestiny · 31/08/2019 00:51

OP - so many people are victims of hideous crimes. Burglary is one hell of an underestimated crime for the effect it has on people's sense of security and well-being for instance. Gang members trawling neighbourhoods and using knives to intimidate or kill. Drug dealers - wrecking countless, usually young people's, lives and neighbourhoods.
They need to serve their time and be allowed to be rehabilitated. I'd rather they were working (less chance to re-offend). Not sure what you think should happen instead?

Tonnerre · 31/08/2019 01:07

No, I wouldn't do any of that. Vigilanteism is pretty despicable.

Toastedstrudel · 31/08/2019 04:36

What should he be doing instead?

Upsiedasie · 31/08/2019 07:31

I agree with WhatsMyPassword.

I’m sorry you went through this but this isn’t the right thing to do. It sounds like you need more support for what’s happened. Flowers

relax2 · 31/08/2019 07:45

Your angry I get it honest I do but the only person you will hurt by carrying this out is yourself .

Have you ever had any help to deal with what you went through? Ultimately that's what is needed. He needs to be able to work and earn , as long as he doesn't have the opportunity to do it again I don't think you can start seeking revenge now.

S1naidSucks · 31/08/2019 10:58

Don’t do it, OP. Rest assured the people he works directly with, will eventually find out through gossip, but the five minutes of satisfaction it will give you, won’t last, once he disappears. If you are a victim, then I completely understand your wish for revenge, but if he knew you were eaten up by rage like this, it would give him satisfaction. Don’t give him your power.

If you are a relative of one of his victims, then it’s not your place to speak revenge. Your relative has already lost their power at a horrendous stage in their life, by acting out revenge on their ‘behalf’, you are taking away more of their power. If you are discovered and end up charged, your name will get out and that way people will try to work out who was abused. That’s not going to be fair on your relative.

Please try to get counselling to help deal with this.

Original poster
Careradvice2019 · 31/08/2019 15:29

Ok thank you all.
I'm so very angry and upset . My son is trying very hard to deal with the fact he was let out last week , to see his face on FB grinning gives me the rage
I've never had counseling for it
My husband said I should have a long time ago as there are alot of issues as a child too
Ok thanks all again .
I'll try keep my mouth shut and my leaflets to myself

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