To take a 3 year hiatus from dating at 27 years old?

[lifeisaball]

I have been properly single for about 3 years now but have dated and seen people since then. I have always had issues when it comes to relationships, I am very aware I have an anxious attachment style and find I always tend to find myself with emotionally unavailable men. My self esteem has always been an issue and I seem to go a little crazy when I notice a man distancing himself for me, therefore pushing him away further. To be absolutely honest, I have never graciously let a man go, every single time a man has called things off with me I have made a fool out of myself and won't leave him alone until he physically has to block me.

I'm a 27 year old single mum and am in my third year at uni. I hadn't been actively dating until the start of the summer when I started online dating. I met a guy who completely swept me off my feet (I now understand he was love bombing me) and just as fast as he came on to the scene, he left just as fast. This completely broke me and I have behaved like an absolute crazy person towards him. He has had to block me on everything because I refused to accept it was over and I cringe at the thought of ever running into him in the future.

After this most recent episode, it has become very clear to me that I have a lot of issues that I have to deal with. I am going to pay privately and go and see a therapist as I am positive these issues stem from my childhood and the way I was raised.

My question is I would love to give myself 3 years to just concentrate on me, my daughter and my education. I would like to completely forget about meeting anyone at all for three years and start maybe dating if I'm in a good place when I'm 30. My issue is I worry that all the good men will be taken by then? Am I leaving it too late?

I don't want any more kids so that's not an issue. But realistically if I completely stop dating and being open to meeting people until I'm 30, will I end up alone?

There's absolutely no reason you couldn't meet Mr right at 30, or for that matter, 40. I know loads of people who've meet their partner at that age or older.

Taking some time off to concentrate on yourself and your dc sounds like an excellent idea. Frankly, I'd always say it's far better to be single than in the wrong relationship, so giving yourself the time to realise that you're fine as you are, and that a man is not necessary can only be a good thing.

I don't think you have to put a strict time limit on it. You might find a year is enough, you might decide you're happy being single for much longer or forever. Why not start with a year then review it?

Watching with interest OP, I could have written your first paragraph and just in the last year I have been love bombed and then left just as quickly by 2 guys.
I’m not seeing a lovely guy who seems to have his head screwed on but I’m becoming very very aware of my constant need for attention and the anxiety I feel when he doesn’t text for a few hours which is quite frankly ridiculous and something I need to deal with.

*now rather than not!

Sounds very sensible to concentrate on your own wellbeing, child and education. But as a PP says, there’s no need for a strict time scale.