because i wont help a friend cheat on her husband?

[tearsndtantrums]

a friend of mine has arranged to meet a man shes never seen before tonight. she wants me to be her alibi but ive said no. she has a wonderful family and her husband is great.

ive said i want no part in it but now shes upset. i just cant do it. arrrgh im not being unreasonable am i? btw ive just found this out and i dont know what to do. part of me thinks i should go because he could be a maniac. and i would feel awful if something happened. but at the same time i dont want to be put in that situation at all.

cant you have a better chat with her and explain your reasons for not being her alibi?

Safety is a big issue here too, not to mention the possibility of ruining the family she already has.

No you are quite right
she is a silly cow, she will lose her wonderful family and great husband

No you're right not to condone this ,I was asked this of a close friend about 10 yrs ago and I too refused.SHe was fine about it and afaik never went through with it,but did go on to have an afair with someone else for 5 yrs without anyone knowing.I'm glad I didn't know anything at the time, as I see her dh a lot and it would 've been awful.

Must be something wrong with her relationship if she wants to do this but don't get involved.

YANBU
It is very wrong of her to drag you into this and make you a liar

nbg ive invited her to come round and have a coffee. and ive told her its dangerous and could blow up in her face. also it would mean lying to my dp about what i would be doing tonight and dont want to do that.

Tell her that YOU are upset at her wanting to put you in an awkward position, that if she wants to do this sort of thing then she should not expect you to get involved - and how would she feel if it was your dh helping her dh to cheat on her?

Your friend is unhinged.

I hope to God she's meeting her axe murderer friend somewhere well lit with cctv.

Tell her not only will you not provide an alibi, you will blab everything you know to whomever asks. That should stop her involving you, but she might not be your pal any more.

When everyone finds out about this - and they will find out - your complicity will drag you down with her. You'll be assumed to be as deceitful as she is.

Step away.

To me she is not much of a friend expecting you to lie to your DP and hers for her if she want to be such an idiot let her do it on her own the crappy part is you will have to lie to her DP now anyway unless you tell him

what bugs me though is this is the friend to ask me to cover for them. ive said no to them as well. is there a certain time in a relationship where cheating is a must? one even wanted to use my flat.

i am going to tell my dp tonight. im going to have to. if this does get blown up i dont want him in any way thinking i helped or i thought it was ok.

dont get involved as you will be made out to be the bad one when it all goes wrong or her hubbie finds out she is out of order askin you to help her

Top idea to tell your dp.

i just realised i didnt finish a sentence in my last past
this is the 3rd friend to ask me....

i have to wandering trolley. i occassionally use chat rooms when the forums are quiet and i do not want my dp thinking im going to do the same. its also because when this comes out and it will he will know that even though i knew about it i didnt agree or act as an alibi to it.

YANBU - I think it is wrong of her to expect you to lie to your DP for her own selfish needs.

ok so i told my dp who just looked disgusted. shes not online so i assume shes gone. how can people be so silly?

ok i met my dp over the internet but 1) i was single and 2) i kept as safe as possible ie clocking in to my mum or cousin only going to well lit areas and making sure i was talking to someone whilst in the car on the phone. granted dp thought i was a bit to saftey concious but hey it was a risk.

safety concious (ok am i spelling concious right?)

conscious.