Ex leaving DS home to go to the shop

[Waxonwaxoff0]

If IABU tell me and I'll happily accept it!

Ex and I get on pretty well and he has DS regularly. He's just turned 6.

I was chatting to DS about his weekend with his dad and DS said that ex ran out of milk for his breakfast cereal in the morning. So I said did you have something else for breakfast instead? DS said no, daddy went to the shop for milk. I asked did you go too and DS said no, he stayed at home.

The shop is a 5 minute walk away from ex's house. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know it's not far but it does make me a bit uncomfortable. I trust ex when it comes to DS, we've been separated since he was a baby and I've never had any concerns regarding his parenting. I do feel that 6 (only just turned) is too young to be left home alone for any amount of time though. What is the MN consensus? Should I mention it to ex? I don't want to overreact.

I wouldn't be happy with that no

I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't be happy if my oh did it, even though he has used his judgement. I feel 6 is too young.

5 min walk, sensible 6yo in front of tv, I think that’s ok.

We're in a similar situation. Dh believes dc 6 is fine alone for 15-20 mins, I feel it's too risky. Dc have said they prefer to stay at home alone rather than go to the shop.

If it's just 5 minutes and he was only grabbing milk (rather than a full shop) then he would be back in 10 minutes, if your son is sensible then it wouldn't really bother me. Like a PP said, they could easily be sat in front of the tv for that long - that's only half an episode of most shows, the chances of something going wrong are very slim.

If they weren't a sensible sort and were prone to accidents and danger then I wouldn't do it.

My worry would be that something happens to his dad whilst he's out, and so he's out for a lot longer than expected or doesn't even make it home, rather than anything happening to the 6 year old at home. My DC is 6, I've left him twice to go and get milk in the last month or so, but the corner shop is only three doors down. And I told him if I wasn't back by the end of whatever programme he was watching at the time, he was to go to the shop (where he knows the owner well and they'd help out). So I don't think it's always entirely unreasonable, just depends on the exact circumstances.

I had similar when DS had chicken pox and DH left him for a few minutes to get some milk. I wasnt best pleased at first, but thinking rationally and knowing my son the way I do, it wasnt that big a deal really.

I would sat it depends on your child and how they would react to being left alone and how they would deal with, for example, someone knocking at the door, or if daddy wasnt back by x minutes.

i'd be concerned about ex having an accident while out.
nobody wakes up in the morning thinking i might have an fatal/accident today. it can happen in a matter of seconds. he should have taken ds with him to the shop.

Are you sure that there wasn't another adult in the house?

No i wouldnt be happy with this

I did this when my DC was 6. I had little choice as I lived alone with them, had no one who could come help, needed something desperately from the shop 5 mins away and DC had a stomach bug. Sometimes needs must. She was absolutely fine. If I ever suspected she wouldn’t be ok, I wouldn’t have done it. Every child is different, it doesn’t sound as though your DS minded.

No I definitely wouldn't be happy with it. It might only be 15 minutes he's alone but he's not old enough to deal with something if it happens (fire, his Dad getting hit by a car and not coming back etc...) Very young to be left alone and not worth the risk I think.

6 is too young to be left alone but before you rush in with accusations make sure you know the whole story, if there was someone else in the house etc

No, I wouldn't be happy. My DS is 9 and I've only just started leaving him(twice) to go to our corner shop 5 mins walk away.
My DD is 8 and I take her with me.
( I wouldn't leave them together in case they argued/fought and something happened but tbh I don't think I'd feel happy at 8 leaving her alone)

Thanks all. A few different views here!

My DS is very sensible, he didn't seem upset about being left alone. I don't think there was another adult home or he would have said, ex has a girlfriend but DS said she wasn't there.

I think my main concern is what DS would do if anything happened to ex while he was out, not that DS might come to harm at home. Ex has no family in this area, he initially moved here to be with me and the area he lives in isn't particularly nice, it's very close to a rough city centre. So there is no one that DS knows there and I would not want him wandering around alone in that area. Ex doesn't have a home phone and DS has no mobile of course so he wouldn't be able to contact anyone.

Watching with interest as I'm in same situation with my ex leaving two dc to go to corner shop. Makes me deeply uncomfortable but I know if i raise it i will be told i am overreacting, non of my business, he will minimise it etc.

So I've talked to both mine about what to do when he goes ( no eating, no putting anything in their mouths ( choking), just sit and watch tv/play etc) and what to do if he doesn't come back in a reasonable time or if there is an emergency - go to neighbours etc.

So 10 mins of walking plus however long it takes to make the purchase.

No I wouldn’t leave them and I would class just turned 6 as very young.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/leaving-child-home-alone/

Far too young to be left for any amount of time.
It doesn`t always happen to other people.
Would have a gentle word with x.