Ex driving DD whilst on FaceTime

[Rapidmama]

He already has 12 points for being on the phone, pled with the judge to pay a fine and not lose his licence as other people would be out of a job.

He barely sees DD (4) but he will not stop FaceTiming people when he is actively driving her around. She’s in a shitty high backed booster in the front of his truck.

I’ve emailed and text very politely asking him to stop. He then called me and said “fuck off you stupid cunt, she’s 4 I was on the phone for 2 mins”.

DD says he talked to his girlfriend and his friend S and his friend M, so I doubt that it was just one call for 2 mins.

He balances the phone on his steering wheel so not much chance of him being caught.

AIBU to tell him he isn’t taking her out in his car again unless he stops? No court order in place

YANBU.

This is one of those occasions where I would say 100%, you need to intervene here.

There was a story recently about a lorry driver who killed people in a crash because he was scrolling through music on his phone.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/oct/31/lorry-driver-distracted-phone-jailed-10-years-crash-deaths-tomasz-kroker

Regardless of other road users, you don't want that to be your DD.

Forget the confrontation issues, it's more about doing whatever you can to make sure she's ok.

I don't think YABU whatsoever and respect to you for trying to sort this.

As for your ex, his arrogance as a road user is extraordinary, and the language used is horribly abusive and I feel for you for having to listen to this (I hope your DD, 4, doesn't have to either but I fear the worst).

Get your access sorted out through the courts,

If my children weren't safe with someone then I wouldn't send them unsupervised. End of story. Get your access sorted through the courts, keep all proof of his driving with her whilst on the phone.

@confusedbeetle, and stop him in the meantime? I can’t take him to court to make him see her, it doesn’t work like that. He could take me to see her more but no court in the world can force someone to be a parent.

It’s her first day of school on Wednesday and I asked him if he wanted to come. “I won’t be there I’m going on holiday tomorrow”

This isn’t a man who would fight in court to see his kid.

I don’t have any proof other than asking DD and she’s 4.

He is quite clever and won’t put anything in writing. Will phone me and admit it but wouldn’t admit it over email or text.

Report to the police (not sure what that will do in fairness)

It won’t do anything. Nowt they can do without proof

If it were reported to the police and they were able to investigate it (not saying they will have the capacity to) they are able to track phone calls/ FaceTime and compare this to the GPS location of the phone so they would know it's in motion and being used. Assuming it's just him and your child in the car there's no space for him to claim it's someone else.

I've literally had to pull over just this morning and ask someone quite angrily to put their phone down as they nearly went into the side of me whilst happily distracted on their phone at the wheel. This behaviour has always been a massive bugbear for me but now that I have a young DC I'm even less tolerant of it. I wouldn't be letting him have access while you believe he's still doing this. :(

Meant to add that if it continued could you record him admitting it on the phone as evidence?

The whole business of getting 12 points but being let off for some reason or other is just WRONG.

Points on your licence are voluntary. If your licence is that important to you, don't break the law.

Especially when all those points are for the same thing