AIBU not to leave DS age 11 home alone with his friend?

[WallyWallyWally]

DS1 is 11. He has a friend here who stayed for a sleepover last night. I’ve been asked to go into work, DH is already away. While I’d be happy to leave DS home alone for a few hours, I’m less keen on leaving him with his friend. DS is sensible, usually (in that he won’t generally budge if left alive with food, PS4 and my number) his friend can be a bit of a wild card.

So I’ve said that the friend has to leave at 10am when I do... that’s not unreasonable is it? They get left alone frequently at the friends place, and the friend has been given a lot more freedom a lot earlier. They’ve done things like watch Stranger Things when they were only 10... gone out of the house to the sweetie shop without telling anyone.

I know other friends of DS are not allowed to hang out at home with friends unless there is a parent present, so I’m not the only strict one!

YANBU and I would do the same.

Seems reasonable to me. I would make sure I'd let the friends parent know that is the situation - can you drop friend home on the way to work?

Yanbu

I'd have done the same. Its one less stress. 11 is young to be left but I did it as mine were like yours. I'd find that hadn't moved in all the time I'd been out. I wouldn't be able to take that risk with a child that wasn't mine.

Sleepovers round here finish at 10am any way! It's fine , drop him back home on your way to work

Cheers all I am reassured!

We are in France, parents here generally leave their children home alone much younger. DS has been in secondary school for a year now so he’s used to coming and going on his own and generally having a lot more freedom. His friend is a second child - and definitely benefits from a bit more laissez-faire parenting than my OFB does!

Yes I agree. You can’t let someone else’s child stay unsupervised in your home
You know your own child and can do whatever you think appropriate
But not with the other child
Imagine if it was the other way around and your child was left home alone in someone else’s house with the adult went to work
Can the other family not have your child for a play date today op?

@HeatherJayne1972

Problem is, the other family are happy leaving them home together while the parents are at work or running errands! I’m never sure how much to interfere in playdates / rules in other people’s houses.

I wouldn’t be happy about him being left alone at the friend’s either. Are you?

I had this exact situation this week. My 11 year old and his cousin same age potentially being left together in my house. My sis wasn’t bothered
But I was. It’s my house and as the responsible adult it’s my fault if it goes wrong
I said no

I leave my 10 year old, nearly 11, for a short time. He is responsible and has craved being left alone because he is second child and wanted what his older brother had.

But I wouldn't leave if it was Ds2 and his friend. No.

I would leave my responsible 11 year old home alone if necessary. Never another person's child.