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Need urgent advice from someone who know laws around assault and defamation *Trigger warning - rape*

5 replies

Theendofmyrope · 30/08/2019 04:15

Im posting for traffic. Have been stewing about this and getting worried. I have posted previously under different username about my DD and what happened to her. She was raped over 2 years ago, went to trial, very compelling evidence but he was found not guilty in June as it would seem with most rape cases. He continues to live in our small city. Huge impact on my DD and my family as you can imagine. Pretty much destroyed us all. The trial alone was horrific. She has never had any contact with him since the attack until 2 nights ago when she was out and saw him laughing and joking around with some people. I think it all became too much for her and she threw a drink over him and said 'This man is a rapist' several times and she then left. She never said his name. We haven't heard anything from the police yet but I am 100% certain this man will have gone to the police and will be looking at every possible avenue to go after my DD for this. Is it likely she will be prosecuted for something like this? I am not condoning what she has done but always felt it was only a matter of time until she ran into him and something like this could happen. She said she didnt know what took over her but she just felt so upset and angry when she saw him and all these emotions came flooding out. Any advice would be welcome. I think she is getting quite stressed about it as am I now. She is due to head off to uni next month and now this is hanging over her. She has been to absolute hell and back and has been so so brave.

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Theendofmyrope · 30/08/2019 09:10

Hopeful bump

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Purplerain16 · 30/08/2019 09:14

I don't have any advice for you, but I have lived your DD life for the past 20 years so I know how she feels.

I really hope she is seeking help (here we have a charity called survive that I go to for counselling). It does get better, I promise you and her that it does. It will take a while, but things will improve for her Flowers

Feel free to PM me if you need any support/someone to chat to.

livinglavidavillanelle · 30/08/2019 09:18

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. She didn't hurt him, and he may not even have gone to the police. Even if he has, I'm fairly sure they will be sympathetic. As for prosecution, unfortunately you've found out ridiculously hard it is to be prosecuted for even the most severe of crimes, so it's doubtful there would be anything much to prosecute in this instance. If she had gone online and named him personally calling him a rapist, that's something else entirely.
Poor girl. Tell her not to worry about this, honestly he can't do a thing.

NoBaggyPants · 30/08/2019 09:23

Throwing a drink at someone would be common assault. If the police did want to pursue it and she accepted her guilt they would probably give her a caution.

If she continues to tell people he is a rapist when it's obvious who she is referring to (whether she mentions his name or not) then he may report her for harassment also.

Defamation is a civil issue, and whilst what she said could amount to it, to bring a case against her would be very expensive for little reward. I doubt anyone would take on his case.

I'm so sorry you and your daughter have to go through this. I'd hope the police use common sense and at most tell her to remove herself from the situation if she sees him. Hopefully university will give her a new start away from this vile man so she doesn't have any more reminders of him.

And you can call him a rapist on here if it helps. There's no identifying information to link back to him.

Theendofmyrope · 30/08/2019 09:37

Thank you for the responses. In some ways it has given her some closure.... me to weirdly. She just isn't the sort of person who would ordinarily do something so drastic so I imagine very extreme feelings and emotions took over. I myself have fantasized at times about running into him and what I would do/say to him

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