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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to walk my dogs with little kids?

32 replies

imamearcat · 30/08/2019 00:37

I think I am probably BU but feeling frustrated. I'm not used to neighbours!! Just moved from rural abode to a newbuild estate.

Hard to explain but basically as the crow flies we are a few hundred meters to the good dog walks but the development have not made an official access so there is a fence to the track. There are two ways round, a mile round the road or maybe 3/4 round a quite track.

We climbed over the fence a couple of times but one of the residents didn't agree. Fine. Apparently he didn't want people climbing over HIS fence (it's not his fence but hey ho).

Ok so we walk round the track, had toddler in trike well behaved dogs off lead. Nowhere near anyone's house or property. Car comes behind me so I gather everyone up, wave past, all smiles.

Woman winds down here window, immediately aggressive. 'Can you not have your dog on a lead on MY drive!!?', me - 'oh sorry I thought it was a public right of way?'. Her, 'it is but it's MY DRIVE!! You are being so irresponsible!!!'.

So now I have to struggle my way round with 2 dogs, 2 toddlers. I think because people are stuck up and horrible. What do you think?

OP posts:
RainingFrogsAndHats · 30/08/2019 00:40

If ever a thread needed a diagram....

Hoppinggreen · 30/08/2019 00:40

I think you should stop climbing over fences and having your dog off lead on other peoples driveways

Original poster
imamearcat · 30/08/2019 00:45

It's really not a driveway as such. It's a track that has a number of houses lead off from it. You would never know it belonged to a particular person.

I just wonder what has happened to being decent and polite? The fence guy was polite. The drive woman was horrible! I was really doing no harm to either of them!

OP posts:
HelloMrDinosaur · 30/08/2019 00:56

Probably fed up of dog shite at the bottom of their driveway. I know I am.

Original poster
imamearcat · 30/08/2019 00:57

Well it wouldn't be mine!

OP posts:
cakesandphotos · 30/08/2019 01:00

If it's a public right of way then she has no business telling you what you can and can't do on it. I would ignore

Original poster
imamearcat · 30/08/2019 01:01

Is it ok then for people to just be horrible? She could have just asked! 'Hi, would you mind keeping your dog on a lead because I'm worried about poo/it getting run over/it being on MY DRIVE?'

People talk about manners and 'the youth of today' old people tend to be horrible!

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 30/08/2019 01:33

Im just hopping on for the diagram so i can make sense of this

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/08/2019 02:00

You need a diagram.

It is impossible to determine who is being a nob without the aid of diagrams, this is Mumsnet lore.

Also, dogs off lead = automatic suspicion you are a poo abandoning raving dog fanatic who lets her dogs mug picnickers and scatter children like skittles.

Suggest training dogs to walk on lead nicely alongside toddlers/prams/various toys/shopping bags/horses/angry badgers/whilst balancing a three tier cake... etc.

Original poster
imamearcat · 30/08/2019 02:23

I just don't think I diagram is within my capabilities right now.

Without the sprogs I of course don't mind walking round but the toddler won't walk so we have to have the trike, it's too bumpy for pre-schoolers scooter, we are all knackered by the time we get to the field! (Apart from the toddler, he's happy as Larry and dog, pulling my arm off!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
imamearcat · 30/08/2019 02:26

I will try and do a diagram in the morning i think it will help my case!

OP posts:
sobeyondthehills · 30/08/2019 02:27

If its not his fence and its not her drive, there is little they can do about it.

Depends on how neighbourly you are feeling

makingmammaries · 30/08/2019 05:37

What was your plan for dog walking when you bought the house?

adaline · 30/08/2019 05:47

I do think you need to have your dog on-lead on a road - it's just common sense really. If it pulls then you need to train loose-lead walking not just let it off-lead because it's easier.

I also wouldn't be climbing over fences unless I had no choice - it's just a bit childlike really. Plus the fence is inevitably going to get damaged if everyone starts doing the same thing. Just walk round - it's not even a mile so it can't be that exhausting surely?

GPatz · 30/08/2019 06:08

'What was your plan for dog walking when you bought the house?'

I'm guessing the few hundred metres to good dog walks was probably sufficient.

Do people think 'now how would I reach those dog walks with a dog on/off a lead and two toddlers, with or without bikes/scooters, whilst balancing a three tier cake and avoiding angry badgers' before buying a house?

MrsDimmond · 30/08/2019 06:20

Do people think 'now how would I reach those dog walks with a dog on/off a lead and two toddlers, with or without bikes/scooters'..before buying a house

Yes! That is exactly the sort of thing I would ask myself when considering buying a house.

With regard to OP. I think its unreasonable to have a dog off lead on a track which cars use.

I agree those people sounded rude, but we have no idea how many times they have encountered the same issues or made the same request.

makingmammaries · 30/08/2019 06:44

Do people think 'now how would I reach those dog walks with a dog on/off a lead and two toddlers, with or without bikes/scooters'..before buying a house

If they don’t, they can hardly expect the two toddlers, bikes and scooters to serve as an excuse for jumping fences and walking dogs off lead up tracks of uncertain status that are used by cars.

BeanBag7 · 30/08/2019 06:54

Put the dogs on a lead while walking down the track. That seems to be her issue, not the fact you're walking there.

Look into what the rights of way are and who actually owns the fence.

Plasebeafleabite · 30/08/2019 06:58

If it’s a public right of way as you say I’d be ignoring her and carrying on

Keep pointing it out if she’s arsy again

0blio · 30/08/2019 07:00

old people tend to be horrible!

You sound pretty rude yourself Hmm

Just put your dog on a lead and stop climbing over other peoples' fences.

adaline · 30/08/2019 07:03

Do people think 'now how would I reach those dog walks with a dog on/off a lead and two toddlers, with or without bikes/scooters'..before buying a house

Absolutely. I wouldn't have gotten a dog if we didn't have easy access to plenty of dog walks. Likewise if we moved that would be one of our top considerations - dogs need walking at least once a day so easy access to dog walks is pretty high on our list of must-haves.

Bagadverts · 30/08/2019 07:09

Yabu
Is there a pavement? If you are walking in a track used by cars surely it’s basic safety having dogs on a leaf. If there is an emergency, either toddler or dog what is your plan on what is actually a road(though presumably with slow traffic)

Aragog · 30/08/2019 07:14

Even if it's not his fence you really ought not to be climbing over it. It will get damaged.

The end of our cul de sac has a low wall with grass and plants before it. I've seen numerous people climb over it with no regard to the state of the planting in front. I can understand why the people at that end of the street get annoyed by it even though the wall and fencing doesn't belong to them - it gets damaged and they end up having to sort it to avoid having a mess opposite then.

Sirzy · 30/08/2019 07:17

It certainly isn’t unreasonable to ask you to not climb the brood over a fence. I presume you weren’t prepared to pay to keep it maintained?

The lead is less clear on unreasonableness BUT what is unreasonable is to head out knowing you would struggle to properly restrain/keep safe all in your care.

Aragog · 30/08/2019 07:18

Some of the roads on our development also have these shorter roads leading to some people's homes and drives, but with no physical boundaries. They are definite rights of way with an opening to the park and grass areas beyond.

However, round here people keep their dogs in leads when on this roads and the three roads, only taking them off lead in the park/grass/track areas.

That's mainly from a safety point of view though as there are the occasional car - what with them leading to peoples homes and drives. Means that there is limited risk from having a dog run out.

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