To feel like my life is going no where but not know how to fix it

[WhatToDoNowTim]

I'm struggling at the moment with a feeling of not knowing what the fuck to do with my life.

It's mainly my job that I can't stand but it's a 'good job' so I'm often told to stick it out, try and get into it etc etc...

I just feel like if I died tomorrow I'd have done sweet FA and it's really getting me down.

I want to do something new, I want to enjoy something whether it be a hobby or a job. I want just something to be passionate about.

On paper I have a decent life, great H, nice home, decent job. But in reality I just feel so disappointed with how it's all going and it's because I feel like I do nothing but go to work at a job I can't stand, come home and repeat.

H has his own business and does what he loves. And me? Well I don't have anything I 'like' really.

Has anyone else felt this way? Like I know I want to do something but I've no idea what

So what are you passionate about?

This is the problem, I don't know! I don't really have any hobbies or anything. I feel like a boring sod who has no idea what they even like or are interested in.

I've decided I'm just going to try a load of stuff and see if anything takes my fancy. That's all I can think to do!

Sounds good. Maybe something in each category eg an evening class, a sport, a craft, a charity, a group.

I recently felt like this, I’m now a 40 year old student 😊 Try online career quizzes, have a look at courses you could take, find something that ignites your passion.

Times like this call for taking the plunge and just going for whatever.

A few years ago, I'd had a friend encourage me to join her ladie's rugby club but I brushed it off. I'd never done it before and it seemed a bit intimidating. Took me a year or two but I decided to go for it one day, after sitting in the sofa and realising I hated having nothing else to do.

Bloody loved it!!!!!!

I eventually left due to injury but it gave me the confidence to try something and take the plunge. Next, it was a musical theatre company. Bloody loved that and all!!!!

Take the plunge! Find out what you like and dont like! You'll meet some great people along the way and find yourself too.

I always like to remember that Baz Luhrmann song from 1999. Everybody's free?:

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't"

I'm going to make a list tomorrow of things I want to 'give a go'. I think I definitely want to change jobs at some point but I'd be happy for now with just getting into a hobby so I have something to look forward to after work.

It sounds daft but I'm only in my 20s. Everyone says 'oh you have so much time' as if it'll all just come together on its own but I don't know how to take the steps to actively change anything. Especially my job. I feel trapped because I earn well for my age and we can't really afford to lose or take a huge drop in income right now!

If you want further study i highly recommend the open university- really helped my career. Obviously i appreciate it may nkt be right for you though!

If there is one thing I learnt during my 20s, it's that a good salary is not all its cracked up to be.

I was a teacher. I had 2 degrees under my belt. I made the mistake of getting into it - my ex guided me that way because it was the 'sensible' option (turned out there were other sinister reasons behind his encouragment).
I stayed in it for far too long when I really didnt enjoy it.

I kind of had a massive life change when I was 25/26. Left my 10 year relationship with that ex, quit my job (with nowhere to go) and felt free. Over the course of the next couple of years I tried a few jobs and liked some but hated others. None of them to do with teaching. Eventually I settled on a lovely job that was significantly lower pay but I loved it!

Theres 2 things I'm trying to say here:

1. There will most likely be a catalyst for change that happens. For me, prior to leaving all those things, I had a mental breakdown. It was through counselling and finally clearing my head that I was able to see how bloody unhappy I was. That gave me my catalyst.

1. Good salaries do not equate happiness. They make life more comfortable, yes. But I found myself so, so much happier being in a less stressful job with lovely, kind people.

Once you find a catalyst, you'll make the changes you want.

My friend gave me this advice for joining groups or hobbies

Try something new, if you don't like it, try something else

It's worked for me ! I do things that I enjoy

I know what you mean OP. I got my current job straight out of uni 12 years ago and I'm still in it. It's the exact same job too, no promotions or moves or anything. But the pay is pretty good for what the job is so if ever I think of moving everyone tells me I'd be stupid to do so. Of course the people telling me this move jobs all the time. I feel like I've lived the most boring life possible.

I'm in a similar boat. I have a cushy life, got a good degree which can walk me into many "good jobs", and enough savings to live on for 3 years. Yet I hate every job I've done so far. I just quit a 45k job and am wondering whether to take another office job that I -may- like so we can get a house and good mat leave, or to say "fuck it all" and spend 12k on a college course studying my hobby.

If doing my hobby for a living doesn't work out though, I have no idea what to do next. Teaching? MP? Social worker? I hate working but I also hate being sat at home unemployed.

Everyone else in my family has academic/high flying jobs and Phd's and loves their work, yet I've spent most days at work taking excessively long coffee breaks and browsing the internet. I don't know what my "calling" is. It may well have been something practical you could do with no GCSEs, but then I'd stand out like a sore thumb in my family - like the opposite of a kid from a council estate who feels they can't go to uni. Maybe my "purpose" is to have kids, but I wouldn't feel comfortable forcing my husband to work FT just so I can stay at home.

Bahhhhhhh.

I’m in my mid 20s, and struggled for a while with trying to find things that were “me” as an adult. Is there anything you did as a child or teen that you enjoyed and could pick up now? Eg. I used to dance, now I attend an adult dance class for my favourite style and don’t bother with the ones I hated. I used to horseride & would like to start back doing this every couple of weeks. My partner boxes and I had a go at that, and now really enjoy it! I also bake - in thinking about trying new things, I’d think about if there are any other skills or qualities you want to develop in yourself - do you want to be more active? Try hiking, cycling, dancing, etc. Want to be able to make things/develop creativity? Try baking, crochet, knitting etc. If you don’t like it after a few go’s, move on. If you’re not very good at something but enjoy it, persevere! Good luck, and come back and tell us what you try

I totally hear you OP. I'm currently procrastinating on here wondering the same thing and I'm much older than you! Only advice I can give is dont let time pass you by. Advice I am struggling to take myself!

Omg I could’ve written this (except I’m 41!). I’m a lawyer, pushed into it by parents. Almost had a mental breakdown a few years ago so took some time off (self funded) to try to figure out what my passion was/what drove me. But got scared and ended up taking an in house job. It’s finr as only 28 hours a week, decent pay and benefits but I’m SO BORED!!!!

But I have a DC and we want another so not now best time to decide to quit.

We could pay mortgage bills and eat on DH’s salary but would be no extras for holidays/eating out etc. So I keep on working.

Have a BLT property I could sell which would give me around 300k cash to re train but my issue is: as what?!

Plus we have a very nice life on our 2 salaries.

So I’m currently struggling with whether to do something else or just hang on and try for early retirement at say 55.

I'm also in law Burnt and as you say, I'm just so bored of it! It was never what I really wanted to do, just kind of happened because I couldn't decide on anything else.

I hate it. I'm not interested in it. I've no motivation to progress (and to be honest, the upper levels seem more stressed out than is even worth).

But I've no idea what else I'd like to do! I've looked into the OU but I'd have to study part time around my job (can't afford right now to leave and do full time study) and I just don't know which subject I'd even be that interested in.

It's driving me mad!

Thank you for the advice and replies though, I'm taking it in and trying to make a list of things I can do!

I think you can change a lot just by saying 'yes' to everything that comes your way. Whatever you get invited to, whether its a drink with a colleague or joining in a Tough Mudder or something. I think it can be self-defeating to try and change the massive things (your job), so start by just changing a few small things. Join a club; walk a new route to work; read more, workout more, try a new recipe every night for a week. It's so easy to get in a rut with life, but you might find that the small changes all start to add up and lead you to new places.

That’s really good advice envelope.