How often do you argue?

[margaritaproblems]

In a healthy relationship?
Just that really.
We have a 6 month old. A 4 & 6 year old and an 8 year old from a previous relationship.

We argue about once a month, it feels great the rest of the time but when we argue I feel like I'm failing the relationship. It's always felt like that.

If it's relevant, we always end up having the argument during my period. It's happened again today and I feel like I'm letting myself down and I can't stop myself getting upset or pissed off over something. This time him not pulling his weight in the house even though he's not that bad. But can be lazy.

It's fucked isn't it?

Every single day, at least once probably more. We bicker about ridiculous things, we have arguments about important things 🤷‍♀️ then it's done and we go back to having a laugh withing 5 mins to an hour depending how serious it is or how pissed off we are with each other.

We don't argue - but then we're still in the honeymoon phase. I'm sure it will happen.

Never argued, been together 11.5 years. He just ignores me though where as I can be snippy - can't argue if he isn't answering me back

Proper arguments are rare, every few years and usually a flash, a bang and all over by bedtime. We bicker more regularly (whose turn to do the laundry, dinner, walk the dog) but usually more like banter. Works for us, i don't think i could cope with arguing all the time.

I'm exactly the same as you. I have diagnosed PMDD though so I KNOW it's because if that even though I am medicated.

We do bicker a lot atm though. Not sure where that's come from.

It depends what you class as an argument really. A full storm about, shouty, don't speak for an hour or two thing maybe once every couple of months. An oh just fuck off five minute strop maybe once a week?

I'd say we're both hot-headed but we're quick to apologise. I've never worried about it.

We bicker A LOT!

Never had one, but we’ve only been together 1.5 years. We’re lucky in that we agree on most major things, and if we do disagree on something minor, there just doesn’t seem any point arguing.

We don't really argue, we talk and debate.
We're very different in temperament (he's very introverted and quick to be irritated by things, I'm an extrovert with introvert tenancies and will focus on life admin) but we're very similar in morals and values.

We haven't argued in the 6 years we've been together, but we have had sticking points, so conversations we have revisited a few times but not resolved straight away. Writing it down, this sounds silly but works for us:
We use a 3 option method: what I want, what he wants, put a pin in it and talk about it again another day. It's quite fun doing it this way because when we go back to it, we tend to have had a more logical look and have pros and cons for not only what we want but what the other wants, we enjoy it.

Been together 20 years.
We argue big time about 1-2 a year.
It us always about the kids
It is always about me feeling he is too harsh on ds1
Things get better for a while then bubble over again.
He is not abusive towards ds he isn’t intuitive about ds’s behaviour. Where I am perhaps too far the other way explaining rude or stroppy actions where I should be challenging them.
Anyway we agree about the big stuff, we enjoy each other’s company.

Me and my ex argued every other week, with big arguments every other month.

My husband and I have still never argued. Not once.

Never really! We had one argument about 10 years ago near the start of the relationship (just after I'd met my new MIL - all a bit much!!), But that's it I think!! But similar to PP, I do get a bit grumpy sometimes (at period time usually) and my tolerant and patient DH just lets it float over his back! On the very rare occasions DH gets grumpy, I also just let it ride!

I think every relationship is different, and there's no rules about how many arguments you should/shouldnt have. My mum and her ex-partner (they were together 20 years) argued every single day, with massive full on storming out and 'ending the relationship' arguments roughly weekly to fortnightly. Not my thing, but that's how their relationship worked. We r all different and all relationships are different I guess .. sounds like you are not happy though, with the level of arguments, so maybe this relationship is not one that's meant to continue(?)

We bicker most days 😂
Big proper blow out arguments, maybe once every two months or so.

About once every 4 months. But pre-dc never ever for ten years.

About every eight weeks.

But it is always over the same issue and we resolve it by the next day.

My mother used to say that you should never go to bed on an argument and I am sure that she is right.

But just once in a while we go to bed without apologising to one another. Not good.

The rest of the time - we do not argue at all.

The first 25 years we were on honeymoon, then it went wrong and we argue far to often since.
Things happened and it was one thing after another

We rarely argue but I think that is due to being the same personality type as each other. I can only recall two or three pretty bad arguments over the four years we've been together. I completely shut down, stare into space, want nothing to do with him and will try to lock myself somewhere just to get him out of my face whereas he is like a dog with a bone, will follow me around, try to push me over the edge in whatever way he can and refuse to leave. I just wish we could sit down and talk about things in a civilised and mature manner whenever we do argure though because I don't like how he makes ant hills into mountains.

It's worse with a young baby in the house. Maybe a short one once a month or so then. Bickering it depends, might average once a month or once a week depending on how stressed/tired we are. Often to do with housework as I get pissed off he leaves things for me to do. But there are some things I don't do either, it's hard to work out what's fair as he works more than I do.

'shouty' rather than short. They're not always shouty actually, angry might be a better description.

No real shouty or full on arguments. He's very quiet. But sometimes there is an atmosphere and I think an argument would be better. His tactic in life is to say nothing easier mended

We very rarely have a full blown argument, I can probably count on one hand how many in 35 years of marriage.
It's usually when there has been a series of events beyond our control which builds up stress and upset, and then one stupid thing will happen to completely tip the cart.
We bicker sometimes of course, we're human, usually over something stupid. We bickered the other day when I bought the wrong milk and he was moaning away until I snapped oh shut the Hell up and buy it your bloody self next time.
Five minutes later it was ' do you want a coffee with that milk?' Him to me 😂

Once in 13 years

We bicker briefly (one or two snappy comments) when we're tired or ill, so most weeks since having a baby. Enough words or grumpiness to be called arguments are when we're both REALLY TIRED, every month or two since having a baby. DH used to go silent instead of arguing, I trained him out of it but now I wish he would! He's also learned how to apologise and I've learned how to back off, we've both learned that one joke brings a smile and stops most arguing. I'm still working on him swearing at inanimate objects (bad workman) and he's still working on me stating when I need help. We very rarely argue about anything that's actually important, it's usually about tasks or the other one being grumpy. We've argued about politics a few times in our relationship, but we've never had a meaningful row about anything else that isn't resolved.

Hard to say but I guess full on fallings out are maybe monthly. We have a challenging DD & we sometimes clash on how to handle her behaviour. The difference between now & a couple of years ago is massive though. I know DH has my back & we are a strong team. He will also now apologise in a mature way & we discuss what happened afterwards rather than him saying sorry to shut me up!