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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent our benefit claiming neighbours?

140 replies

kerala · 07/08/2007 12:46

I worked really hard for 6 years for the deposit to this flat. DH is still slaving away doing 12 hour days (at least) to pay the mortgage and support us.

Our noisy neighbours have been given the flat next door to live in by the council. It is the same as ours. They spend the afternoons messing about in the garden with their DCs, drinking stella, smoking hash and destroying the peace of the neighbourhood. They keep fighting dogs because the council pays all the vets bills for them.

My DH would love to spend time at home with us. but trots off everyday to work. I used to consider myself a left wing guardian type but beginning to resent the thousands I have paid in tax so my neighbours can loll around in the sun all day. They are all able bodied and we live in London so cant believe there no jobs they could get.

OP posts:
newlifenewname · 07/08/2007 13:32

I love how when the underclass start calling their critics posh the critics go into deep denial about their poshness.

To the underclass, your window box makes you posh as their fighting dogs and fucking and cunting language makes them common.

EscapeFrom · 07/08/2007 13:34

But the moise of them is not related to the method they obtain money(unless they are running a brothel or something)

dal21 · 07/08/2007 13:36

Wow - OP is getting a rough time on here, how on earth did class come into this??

I can understand why you feel the way you do - my advice FWIW is to concentrate on what you have achieved and the positives that your situation brings to you and your family, you have lots to be proud of. Put them out of your mind (easier said than done i am sure) - each to their own!

Original poster
kerala · 07/08/2007 13:37

You put it very well eleusis.

It is sad that they have no impetus or desire to want to do anything at all- a fault of upbringing/education/society.

That I am prejudiced scum - ouch!

And Waynetta agree that is the joy of mumsnet. I would never dare voice such non pc opinions in RL for fear of being seen as prejudiced. Indeed perhaps I am. But guess we all are about somethings.

OP posts:
newlifenewname · 07/08/2007 13:38

You do not know that they lack desire or impetus by the way...

Original poster
kerala · 07/08/2007 13:39

I guess I shall polish my cut glass accent and go and drink pimms and champagne in the garden VERY LOUDLY!

OP posts:
newlifenewname · 07/08/2007 13:40

Yes! If you are correct in your assumptions - which let's face it you may well be - then I would imagine pissing them off with poshness might be the way to go. ;)

margoandjerry · 07/08/2007 13:41

Agree the OP has got a bit of a bashing here...

If you live in London, you can get a job. Simple as. If there are two of you, one of you can work and one can do the childcare.

We don't know if they have an invisible disability that prevents them working so that may be something to take into account but seems unlikely from the description and unlikely to affect both of them.

LaBoheme · 07/08/2007 13:49

can thay really get a bigger place if they have another baby? Surely not. I must be really naive - if you can't afford a place of your own how can you afford to have another baby?

speedymama · 07/08/2007 13:50

I side with OP. Too many people in this country are bone idle and expect others to carry them.

There are people out their who genuinely cannot work through ill health or disability and we should help them.

It is the bone idle malingerers that refuse to work that I cannot abide.

binklehasflipped · 07/08/2007 13:51

Kerala, I think you're getting a rough ride and FWIW, I'd also find the noise/smell of drugs really annoying. Fighting dogs would upset me as I'm an animal lover and agree I cant see what benefit their children are getting from knocking about with stoned/drinking parents - all they are learning is how to emulate this in their own adult lives and so it goes on...

By the way anyone who does think this is a great use of parent-child time must be kidding surely?

CountessDracula · 07/08/2007 13:52

The only one who will suffer from resenting them is YOU!
Do you really think they give a toss?

If I were you I would be grateful for what you have and get on with your life. If you hate it that much you can always sell your flat and move.

CountessDracula · 07/08/2007 13:53

ooh is there a new drug that makes a noise?

dal21 · 07/08/2007 13:54

La boheme - houses have been built in some areas to accomodate large families who have outgrown where they live - so yes it does happen. freedom of choice means that people can have however many children they want irrespective of their financial circumstances.

speedymama · 07/08/2007 13:56

I have a cousin who had 5 children and no means to support them so lived off benefits. She eventually went back to college and is now a midwife.

Lorayn · 07/08/2007 14:00

I wouldn't be so sure that they'll get a larger house, when I was 19 I fell pregnant with DD, and not through lack of contraception either, but anyway, I was living in a one bedroom flat, 4years later, I fell pregnant again, with lots of bollocks from my ex-dp about how he was gonna get us a new house, etc. Anyway when it came to it, I ended up with an 8 month old and a 5year old in a one bedroom flat, so don't be so sure they will get rehoused.

expatinscotland · 07/08/2007 14:10

I think people are being too hard on kerala.

I lived in a crap area once and only 44% of the people worked in that district and what sucked is the noise was CONSTANT. Because not a lot of people worked, many were up all night shouting and being violent and setting htings on fire.

Now I've lived in some shitholes in my life, but that was the worst.

Go ahead and call me a snob, but it put me off EVER buying an ex council property that's not detached and in the middle of nowhere because I don't want to live around a bunch of people who don't work and so hang around making life hell for those of us who have to work daytime hours.

Oblomov · 07/08/2007 14:11

I think OP is getting a hard time. We do not know the situation of her neighbours.
But people who stay on benefits for years and years:-
"It is the bone idle malingerers that refuse to work that I cannot abide." said Speedymama.
Now I agree with that.

expatinscotland · 07/08/2007 14:12

And I'm sorry but the 'just move' comment. WTF?

have you ever lived next to someone who makes noise and is a thug who doesn't work?

You ever tried selling a place like that?

Ever tried even living next to a scene like that.

There have been posters here who have and gotten tons of sympathy, quite rightly, but kerala gets jumped on?

Why, because she used 'benefits'?

I mean, I couldn't give a flying fuck if they're on benefits or trust funders, when you've got someone RIGHT there making noise 24/7 it is a fucking living hell.

Been there! Had a violent drunk downstairs from us - who worked - and a junkie next door.

binklehasflipped · 07/08/2007 14:13

in my experience (social services) , I find quite a large percentage of people who claim benefits long term (who are fit and able to work) are waiting for their dream job to drop in their lap, whether they can be arsed working towards that job or not. ie they dont want a poxy job waiting on - its astronaut or nothing!! (obviously I'm exaggerating - but not much in some cases )

Kathyis6incheshigh · 07/08/2007 14:14

OP is getting a hard time, but I think it is in part because of the title of the thread, which makes it sound as if what she resents about them is the very fact that they claim benefits, whereas from her posts it sounds like it is more complex than that.

expatinscotland · 07/08/2007 14:15

I empathise because I had the neighbours from hell who made our lives a misery. Threatened to kill us, burn the place down, etc. if we complained.

I swear to God I still get nightmares about the place and if it were a choice between living in there again or going to live in my mother's house I know which I'd chose.

Oblomov · 07/08/2007 14:20

Countess's recommendation to move is really not helpful.
Is that like telling a postman not to strike, just to get a new job.Yeah right.
It's a bit more complicated that that, isn't it.

Lorayn · 07/08/2007 14:23

I can totally understand people being annoyed with 'scroungers ', if you need benefits then fine, but any neighbours like that can be really annoying.
I had an upstairs neighbour that would play loud music all night long, and actually pass out drunk with a song on repeat (I now cannot stand beyonce!) There were times at 9am as I was taking my daughter to nursery that he tried unlocking my front door, thinking it was his, and even offered me a 'line of coke' one morning as I walked out the door!
I would make a quiet phone call to the police about their drug use, and then a similar one to the RSPCA about their fighting dogs.
Also, if they are council, then you can make an anonymous complaint, or speak to other neighbours and all make complaints, I think you are only allowed around three then you're out.

niceglasses · 07/08/2007 14:27

And what has noise to do with class?

What is your issue here? Their noise? Their dogs? Their having a good time in the garden?
Their non working?

Which is it, then we might understand it better. But I cannot for the life of me see where the amount of noise your neighbours create is related to benefit claiming or otherwise.