To want to exclude DD's friend

[Lincspeeps]

We often take three of my DD's friends (aged 15) camping with us for a couple of nights. Next year we've decided to go to Spain and have a couple of weeks there with them and last night mentioned this to DD who went ballistic that she doesn't want her friends to come on holiday with us.

After lots of digging she admitted that one of them (who she has holidayed with in the past) is incredibly demanding in a holiday situation and she couldn't imagine two weeks trying to appease her.

I'm sad that this young lady's attitude could spoil the situation for all so suggested we just invite the other two. She then went even crazier saying that would spoil the friendship group (she has a point!)

Do make matters worse I mentioned the holiday to one of the other girls' mothers a couple of weeks ago (assuming DD would be over the moon at the suggestion) so I now need to try and get out of that too.

What to do?

Just say you’ve decided to have just a family holiday, you need to kick back with just your little unit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nobody should be expecting a holiday and if they do, tough!

No explanation is needed. Tell the mother you have decided it's going to be a family only holiday. If she's upset, that's her problem.

Family only .... the end

Yeah this is a pretty easy one, seeing as your daughter doesn't want to holiday with just the other 2.

You've changed your plans and it's family only. Looking forward to the next UK weekend with the girls.

If you see the mhm again just casually drop in you're having a quiet family one only this year.

But really In future you should talk to your child, as I assume you'd like to be asked before extending invites to your friends. Respect is a two way thing,

I agree, just casually mention the next time you see the mum that actually you have all decided to do a family only holiday next year. No apology required. Why does your DD go "crazy" when you have kind ideas about including her friends? She needs to learn to express her thoughts and feelings in a more balanced way now that she is 15.

Oh and tell your daughter that's the line, you need to take the fall for this one, as it's your bad. So she can tell her friends you decided it was family only.

I am surprised by your actions though. A couple of nights camping is very different to two weeks abroad, what possessed you to tell the mother before you discussed with your daughter and a full two weeks before hand?

And you must realise that excluding one of the girls would cause issues in the friendship group. Why are you so desperate to take them? Is it giving you brownie points with the other mums?

I feel quite sorry for your daughter actually.

Just tell the other mum that you've decided just to go as a family. No other explanation needed. Next time ask your daughter beforehand.

MauritiusNext Just take your dd and dont mention it again to the other parent. Plans often change, until money has exchanged hands I wouldn't worry about explanations tbh.

That.

Or... could you just take one friend this time, whoever of the other 2 is her ‘bestie’ and just say it’s due to finances. Then it’s not just one being left out. That’s if DD thinks it would work.

Why on earth would you take 2 kids that aren’t yours?

Because you don’t then have to entertain/put up with a bored teenager.

Just take dd or just 1 friend.

Even girls who get along brilliantly over a weekend are prone to falling out over a longer holiday at that age. Lots of my friends did it and the friendships were never quite the same again! X