At what stage do you intervene ?

[Itglitchagain]

My husband can be terribly
Impatient and disinterested with the kids. Youngest is 10. Eldest 16. When they don’t do what they are asked straight away, it turns into a shouting match where he gets quite aggressive and uses bad language in an effort to get them to do the task. They end up upset, so does he. I end up intervening and trying to sort it all out. He seems unable to deal with them and expects them to do exactly as they are told immediately without question even if they are in the right . He then feels like I am undermining him and being negative and critical but yet comes whining to me that they are slow to do what he says . He simply cannot deal with them . What do I do?

He sounds abusive and cuntish. Sorry OP :( It's not ok...his behaviour isn't something the DC should put up with.

So how would you deal with it . He has very little interest in the children as it is.

TBH your 'D'H sounds a total and utter git. Has he always been like this? If so, why are you still with him?

I would deal with it by the three of you (you and the DC) moving on and making a life without him.

Just think about what will happen in the next few years if you don't. As soon as your DC are old enough to get away from home they will and will likely not want to come back to live with such an abusive bully. If you are still with your DH this will mean that you lose contact with your DC too.

Make a new life now and you will keep contact with your DC.

You're describing someone that I would not be married to. That's how I'd deal with it.

He has no interest in the children and you're always "intervening" because he swears and shouts at them.

Op read yourself back. Leave him.

I have been very critical of him and his parenting over the years . He has never stepped up and even when he tried to it ended in tears and me intervening again . I think we are at the end of the road now but I don’t know how to move forward . Pleas help

He has no interest in me either and I think he checked our years ago but foolishly o did everything I could to encourage their relationship with him even though I see now he wanted a single
Life with the comforts of home

he sounds like a dead weight around yours and the DC's necks. cut him loose and move on, find happiness for you and your children because you sure as shit deserve better than your current situation!

Thanks . I really needed that reassurance. I dunno if I am brave or strong enough for the struggles ahead

Has anybody else been through this that could advise or guide me please?

He does love them and can be tender and kind but I think he doesn’t actually know how to parent