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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to deal with harassment from neighbour

25 replies

Studentist12 · 29/08/2019 11:22

After a car accident (a long time ago) involving a relative of mine and someone who turned out to live very near to me (but was previously unknown) , there was some extreme unpleasantness in the way the incident was handled. This person denied any wrongdoing and showed no compassion for the injuries they had caused, but also kept coming to my door to argue even though it was being dealt with through the proper channels.

Suffice to say, this behaviour didn't exactly endear them to me, but for fear of making the situation worse I tried not to enter into discussion, which caused nasty and unnecessary comments towards me, even though I had not been involved.

Today (months later) upon being spotted by this neighbour as I came down our road, they took it upon themselves to shout and swear at me from the pavement as I made my way into my house.

Perhaps I should have ignored and gone in, but I opened the door again and asked what on earth was going on. I was further subjected to name-calling, insults, shouting, swearing, accusations of wanting to cause harm and to top it all off, a threat of violence.

I couldn't get a word in, and they wouldn't listen to reason.

I was left feeling shocked and shaky, but have recorded all the details.

Should I let this go again? Would it be unreasonable to post a letter through the door explaining what I wanted to say in response to their slurs and threats and that it must stop? I don't want to be responsible for prolonging this, but they have brought me into it again and I did nothing to deserve the way I was made to feel and feel a bit ashamed that I didn't do more about it but basically took it.

OP posts:
TheJoxter · 29/08/2019 11:23

Report them to the police

Nautiloid · 29/08/2019 11:24

Just report them to police.

Shahlalala · 29/08/2019 11:26

Don’t engage, report it to the police.

Studentist12 · 29/08/2019 11:27

Thanks for reading and for quick replies.

I wasn't sure whether the police would act on something like this and I'm sure it'll just be their word against mine.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 29/08/2019 11:30

The police won’t do anything (I know that from experience) they told me that my neighbours (who done exactly the same) weren’t doing anything illegalConfused

SnowBrussels · 29/08/2019 11:30

Don’t try to reason with them or put your case, go to the police.

Studentist12 · 29/08/2019 12:16

PumpkinP That's awful and partly what I was worried about. I know they shouldn't have behaved like that and I'm concerned about it continuing, but it might be viewed as insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

OP posts:
RB68 · 29/08/2019 12:19

report every single incident and once you have a good record of the harrassment consider going for a court order to give you an exclusion zone - sounds like they have lost the plot

Cheeserton · 29/08/2019 12:35

No letters, just report the abuse and threats of violence. Completely unacceptable and you clearly won't be able to reason with this idiot.

mbosnz · 29/08/2019 12:38

Don't engage, do report to the police, you lose nothing in doing so, particularly in light of a threat of violence. There is also a record if it happens again or escalates.

I imagine how or whether the police will respond varies greatly between areas, stations and even individual coppers.

Cherrysoup · 29/08/2019 12:41

If you feel threatened, it’s not insignificant. If you can’t even walk down the street without being verbally abused, it’s not insignificant. Call 101.

TixieLix · 29/08/2019 12:45

I'd report it to the police, especially as they've threatened violence.

Slinkyreptile · 29/08/2019 12:49

Although the police won’t specifically act on this one incident it’s definitely worth reporting purely so it’s down on record. You never know what may happen in future

Tonnerre · 29/08/2019 12:53

Have your phone ready to record so that if anything like this happens again you have clear evidence.

gowgow · 29/08/2019 12:53

This wasn't just shouting, you said they threatened violence.
Report that to the police.

Juells · 29/08/2019 13:07

Although the police won’t specifically act on this one incident it’s definitely worth reporting purely so it’s down on record.

You need to make sure it's put down on the record as well - I've reported something in the past, and when I checked back there was no record of it Angry

Juells · 29/08/2019 13:08

PS, whatever you do don't engage by writing a letter to him, or responding in any way.

TitcHt48 · 29/08/2019 13:19

Feel sorry for you. My problem is people sitting in deck chairs blocking the pavement. We are pensioners and ALLWAYS happy when it rains. Anyone know who we can turn to it isn't a police matter. Thanks

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 29/08/2019 13:22

A threat of violence is definitely illegal. I'd go to the police and focus on what has just happened. The lack of compassion etc isn't relevant- you can't make someone a nice person unfortunately.

PumpkinP · 29/08/2019 13:29

It’s your word against theirs though, my neighbours constantly threatened to beat me up but the police didn’t care when there are no witnesses. I’m not saying don’t report it but just don’t expect the police to do much (or anything at all!)

BrightYellowDaffodil · 29/08/2019 13:31

I wouldn’t say it’s a given that the police won’t do anything - I had someone threaten me a year or so ago because I said he was an idiot for blocking in my car. The police went round to his house to “have a word” then came to mine to reassure me it was being taken seriously.

KittenMittens1 · 29/08/2019 13:31

Hi, I've gone through this myself.

call 101 and report it, if you dont report it they wont take it seriously when you need them to later on.

We live in a rough area where a lot of the houses we live by are housing association, after calling in and reports over 45 incidents with the troubled neighbour, they had the calls as proof and was eventually kicked out by there housing association.

the police we're amazing, tried to calm the situation down. after a while asked us to get some cheap cctv to catch them, as soon as they did they we're hauled to court for harassment.

Juells · 30/08/2019 09:28

TitcHt48
My problem is people sitting in deck chairs blocking the pavement.

That sounds bizarre. Surely it's illegal to block the pavement, just as it would be to park so that prams and wheelchairs can't get by? Have you contacted the council?

TitcHt48 · 30/08/2019 11:33

hi ya everyone just to say thanks to all for reply's it was very kind off all of you all. we are both pensioners and have several health problems and have little or "no fight in us" . Jules we live near a centre that has several wheelchair users and they just get up till they pass or the person using the chair goes in the "road.as do prams etc We are at a loss someone said council I would be really grateful if anyone can get me a contact number for them our local council say it has nothing to do with them!!!!! even tho both off us pay full council tax to them !!! police will only come (if there is a car in the area). I am afraid we are at a loss however a really big thanks for all who have taken the time to reply. I hope all who have problems get them sorted thanks.

Juells · 31/08/2019 15:53

That's the giddy limit. Angry

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