To think this isn’t normal?

[Jellybeansincognito]

Ok, I have considered whether I am being unreasonable or not, my neighbours are making myself and my husband completely miserable. I thought I’d display their behaviour and ask how normal it is/ if were being unreasonable to be upset by it (life is kicking us in the arse a bit atm so bare with me!).

We live in a semi detached house of which we own, we have lived here for 9 years! Of which we had the same neighbour (who was an elderly gent who lived with his wife and dog) until the wife passed and dog passed away and the gentleman was placed in a car home which was around 6 months ago. The neighbouring house is owned by a housing association (may be relevant).

The new neighbours have 3 young children (all younger than 7)

They are so unbelievably loud! Their children are still running around screaming and being hyper after 11pm and it’s every evening! Recently my husband went to bed at 1am and the noise was still on going!

They keep having people round and the noise is even worse! They’ve had people staying now for I think 7 nights in a row?

It’s getting to the point we can’t even go and approach them about it because they are literally never alone!

We can’t even hear our own kids at night because the neighbours noise is so loud we cannot hear our kids cry over them.

We are far from quiet, but we would not allow our kids to run around screaming and banging until 1am. As soon as it gos 8pm we expect our kids to be quiet, if not asleep. It’s just respectful, isn’t it?

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by this? I’m contemplating complaining today to their housing association, they’ve also broken some of our fencing and knocked down a tree which landed on our conservatory roof (glass! Of which thankfully is not broken).

No, you’re definitely NBU. Noise until 1am is terribly disrespectful and I’d be annoyed too!

YANBU and you should speak to them or put a note through their spdoor to give them a chance to improve. If after a few days there is no progress them speak to the HA with a log of events.

We have some very noisy children just moved in nearby and they aren’t nearly as bad but making me miserable. All families make some noise but disturbing your neighbours at all hours is unacceptable.

Nope. I’ve lived a similar life with similar neighbours in a similar set up and the only thing that worked for me was moving.

The noise is seriously impacting my daughters sleep, they don’t seem to have volume control when they speak so their spoken voices are as loud as shouting, paired with running around and screaming, my daughter is finding it really hard to calm down to sleep, and is frequently woken by the noise. She starts school soon and it’s becoming a worry that their noise will impact her behaviour and concentration when at school, it’ll be a tiring enough adjustment for her without this.

Moving isn’t even an option for us at the moment and if it was, their noise would have to be legally declared which would knock off some of the value of our house.

It’s just an annoying situation all around.

The first thing would be to speak to them in person and if things don't improve then complain to the housing association. Maybe once the kids are back in school the noise will quieten down earlier.

Sounds hideous, and clearly they're being unreasonable. You must speak to them ASAP, guests or not, and start logging everything.

Okay, I’m contemplating a note as perhaps that’ll seem less... angry?

I don’t want to go around and make things awkward but I do need to make them aware of the impact of the noise.

How do you do this nicely? Very easy to cross the line isn’t it

It was still happening unfortunately when they were at school, it seems to have got considerably worse however over the last 2 weeks.

Don't leave a note. If you do anything, go and speak to them.

A note will just annoy them even more and they might ramp up the noise.

I would phone their HA and talk to them about it.

Please don't leave a note - it's so cowardly. Just knock on.

Have you actually been neighbourly and introduced yourselves / welcomed them to the neighbourhood when they moved in? It's much more difficult to approach people after 6 months of living next door, and your first approach is a complaint.

Have you actually spoken to them at all about any of the issues you've raised? It sounds like you've just sat next door stewing on it and adding gripes to the list, rather than addressing things as they've happened.

I think you need to be clear on what your issue is. Regular noise late at night is not on. However it's not for you to police how many guests they have and how often. You may have no friends and barely socialise, but they might be different - none of your business. And the fence and the tree are separate occurrences, that may well have been accidental(?), that you should have addressed at the time.

A ranty note pushed through the door complaining about them having too many visitors, being noisy, breaking your fence and dropping a tree on your conservatory isn't going to help matters.

I'd just try to strike up a friendly conversation - ask how they're finding the neighbourhood etc. Maybe say how excited your kids have been during the holidays and how you're looking forward to getting back to normal routines etc. Then mention the noise. They may still retaliate, but at least you'll have gone about it nicely.