To sack off wedding

[ElleDriver]

I'm in the planning stages of my wedding for (hopefully) next year. Had previously always wanted the traditional big day with everyone there. However I am finding it really expensive and stressful to sort. I had picked 5 bridesmaids - three of whom are now pregnant and due around planned wedding time, one of which being an absolute nightmare about everything. Other friends who have wound me up in other ways. Two recent family deaths whose presence would be sorely missed at a traditional wedding.

Aibu to just think fuck it and bugger off somewhere (maybe abroad) with just dp and ds to avoid having to pay loads of money essentially just to feed people for a day. I can't decide if I will always regret not spending the day with the people I love or whether the stress of planning it all will just overwhelm me and spoil it all...

We had a small/medium-sized wedding at home, but without lots of the expectations: no bridesmaids/groomsmen, more friends than family in attendance, no stag/hen do, no photographer, no fancy car to drive to the venue, etc. It still required quite a bit of organisation, and to be honest, at time I wished I had just paid for a standard wedding-package at a hotel, but in the end the wedding was 100% what we wanted it to be. DH and I are lucky that our family and friends never felt the need to let us know how to organise our wedding, but I also never really asked them for advice, I just announced 'this is what we're doing'.

Reading your OP, I fully understand why you would want to elope, and if that's what you want, then go for it. Just remember it doesn't have to be either elopement or full £30k do, there are lots of options in between.

We had a civil ceremony with about 10 close family members and then the big white wedding. I had always dreamt of a big white wedding, massive fan of wedding themed shows etc and even had a generous budget.

The big white wedding was a huge disappointment, so much stress. Being with all that family on the day was amazing and lovely but some friends really let me down, some people really do go batshit at these things. So much wasted energy and sleepless nights, organising it was a nightmare even though my mum was a lot of help.

But I have only great memories of the civil ceremony, it was a great day.

If I were to do it again, I’d keep it small, 10-15 people. I get along very well with my parents so I wouldn’t even consider excluding them from something like this so I wouldn’t elope. But that’s your choice.

The little white wedding chapel is gorgeous! We saw a couple getting married there while on our honeymoon.

We did Vegas 6 months ago, just DH and I and 2 friends. It was amazing.

You talk about the dream wedding. I big wedding is not adream wedding, it is a big show off party. A dream wedding is a small intimate affair attended by people who love you and a lovely lunch

I know my sister deeply regretted getting married abroad.
She had an abusive partner who did all he could to exclude us all, so it's a bit different.
I would have hated walking down the isle without my dad there to give me away.
He loved it and was crying - bless him.
He would have really missed not walking any of his daughters down the isle so I'm so happy he got to do it with me.
Even if the marriage didn't last!!!!!

When I say the dream day I mean the way I've always imagined it was with a big group of friends and family there - more so friends I guess as I don't really have a big family. There are some I will be deeply upset about not spending the day with and others who are making it such a nightmare already that I relish the idea of running away! So it's a mixed bag.

But I think the Vegas idea is the most appealing atm. We have no wedding plans in place at all yet so it's not a case of cancelling anything. And we were planning a US holiday anyway so it shouldn't be too suspicious and even if it is I don't care lol. I will tell my immediate family and it's up to them if they want to come. My ds will of course come with us. But I think that will be it.

So nice to see lots of positive elopement wedding stories. I honestly think people get so caught up in the drama of executing the perfect wedding that they forget the true meaning. I don't want that and being the over sensitive idiot that I am I know people being demanding or letting me down will cause me a lot of upset and stress so it probably is better to do it with just us rather than relying on others to make the day special.

If you already have children then I think most people see a big wedding as OTT