To not want to take baby to playgroups...

[Gracie300]

Until after she’s 1 and had first measles jab?

At that age, playgroups are really for your benefit more than the baby's, so YANBU if you just don't fancy. However, as someone who completely isolated myself for the first year because I was excessively anxious about germs and infection, I have to say that I really regret it now. It didn't stop my baby getting the usual illnesses because I still had to leave the house sometimes, and it deprived me of support and companionship at a time when I would have benefited from it. Some local mums can be competitive and pushy, but others are lovely and I'd have realised that sooner if my postnatal mental health hadn't made me see them all as neglectful slatterns whose snotty-nosed, disease-carrying brats existed purely to pose a risk to my own perfect baby!

Measles isn't very harmful in infants, it poses the same risk as chicken pox. I believe rubella (German measles) is more dangerous. I'm pretty certain the the viruses themselves don't pose a great risk, it's the dehydration they can cause.

@Lauren955 - actually measles used to kill lots of children before there were vaccines, please don't spread anti-vaxx deliberate misinformation.

I'm not anti vaccine, I have an early childhood studies degree. The measles itself isn't more dangerous than chicken pox. It's the poor management of the symptoms that usually hospitalises children.

Regarding the other illnesses, to be fair DS did catch quite a lot of cold viruses, hand foot & mouth and a couple of tummy bugs through baby classes. It was difficult at the time dealing with one cold after another, but I can see now how robust his immune system is getting already, DH caught one snotty cold recently while DS got no more than a slight sniffle for two days (I was in between the two) and he totally missed a mild tummy bug that we both got. Babies do need to catch viruses and it's safer to catch them one by one than getting a lot all at once even if they're older.

@Lauren955 - you should do some more reading, you actually can't prevent encephalitis by management of the disease. The reason there are less deaths from measles is because so many people have been vaccinated that less people catch it.

I didn't take mine, not because of vaccinations I just wanted to do other things. It's fine.

The same risk posed by chicken pox. All part of the herpes zoster family.... How many cases of encephalitis have you heard of from chicken pox.

baby playgroups are for the benefit of parents, not for babies. so, if you are fine without, your child is (i went twice, and never again - performance parenting isn’t for me)

@Lauren955 - Why don't you try a search on Google, that will give you death rate statistics, encephalitis statistics, anything you like. Compare measles and chickenpox death rates with and without vaccination. You know, just educate yourself!

Ah yes Google! How trusty. Type in abstract after to get actual clinical studies. They immunise against chicken pox in the US for the rare cases of encephalitis caused by this. It is unlikely. It doesn't happen often. Death can occur after a common cold if the conditions are right.

@Lauren955 - yes, that's why I had DS vaccinated against chickenpox as well. I've no issue with you stating that there can be complications from chickenpox. I do have an issue with you minimising the risk of measles as you did above and suggesting that there are no dangers to infants from catching measles. Small percentages are still someone's baby and the risk of death or lifelong issues from measles have always been higher than from chickenpox. What you wrote was therefore factually incorrect if you look up actual statistical information.

At that age babies don't NEED to socialise. For me, it was for my need to socialise, for even though I'm an introvert, I wasn't prepared for the effects of social isolation after becoming a mum. It's up to you.

People keep saying babies don’t benifit from going - 0-6 months probably not, my DS was mostly asleep. But from 6-12 months he was definitely showing an interest in the other parents, babies and especially toys that were laid out which made a change from the ones at home. I’m not saying it’s a ‘benifit’ as such, but the older babies do enjoy themselves, it’s not just for the mums at that stage and certainly isn’t pointless.

If measles is your only reason, then yabu as you basically will have to keep them away from all human contact if you're that worried. If you just don't want to go, fine.

Theyre not compulsory but I would recommend them. Like PP, I am an introverted person but I struggled with the groundhog day feeling of maternity leave and I benefitted from building up a weekly timetable of actvities.

Most were free and organised through the children's centre. I did:

Baby Massage (taught session so not much interaction with others. Free)

Baby Swimming (Paid for. Again, taught session but opportunity for chatting)

0-6 then 6-24m play group (free. Met some nice first time mums and we still meet up now)

Church playgroup (£1, refreshments included. Went with a family member, but as it was so local it meant that I now recognise a few parents from nearby so can say hello in the park and eventually the school I expect).

I tried a few baby playgroups when my twins were younger and decided the effort of bundling them and the litany of items I had to take with me to the group - only to be sat there like a lemon because the Mums had their own little cliques that I clearly wasn’t going to be part of so I gave up! But if your reason is purely because you’re worried about your LO getting poorly then only you can decide.

My twins were premature and low weight and had a very long NICU stay so I nearly fell into the overly paranoid category of first time mum, try speaking to HV or GP if necessary to help assuage those fears and doubts if you can. But as PP have said, when your DC is really young they don’t really get much from the groups, it’s more of a lifeline for Mums 😊

Baby groups are great for getting you out and socialising! By the time your child is 1 they want to play with other children & if you’re back at work, baby groups do not take as much priority

I took my DD4 to them before she turned one, but I read an article earlier today that stated there have been more cases of measles in the first half of 2019 than the whole of 2019, and it’s only on the rise due to the anti-vaccination trend. I’m not a germaphobe (is that a word?!) by any means, I think it’s good for kids to pick up viruses etc to build up their immune system, but measles can be very dangerous in babies (more so than chicken pox, scarlet fever etc I believe)? Happy to be told that info is incorrect though.

I’d like to take her just for something else to do, but if she caught it and was seriously ill I’d never forgive myself. I know she could technically catch it anywhere, but a room full of other babies/toddlers just feels more risky! Maybe private vaccination is the answer.

That should have read ‘the whole of 2018’!

Maybe private vaccination is the answer.

I think so OP. I wouldn’t personally as I think the risk is still minimal, but if you’re really that worried and it will put your mind at ease it’s probably worth looking in to. It’s fair enough to want to avoid baby groups if you don’t like them - as I do my best to avoid soft play - but if worrying about measles is the only real reason you would avoid going to groups you think you would enjoy and find useful that would be a shame. They’re only babies for a short time, so it would be sad to miss out if you want to take part in things like that.

Been taking mine to paygroups since he was 4 weeks old, and he learned LOADS in there, people who say it's pointless clearly went to wrong groups. We learned songs, he got to hang around with other babies, play with toys we dont have at home, and I got to chat to other mums, great experience for both of us all round.

I think you're being way OTT. However I have a 1yo and baby groups have been fairly pointless for him until recently, as long as you are still managing to get out and socialise I don't think it would be a huge deal to ditch the baby groups.