To not know which to do?

[catgirl1976]

Its my DMs 70th birthday next weekend

I am paying for a party in a naice hotel for 50 guests with food plus cake, balloons etc and I'm pretty much up to over my budget

I haven't done anything about drinks and I'm a bit eeek about spending anymore money. I cannot afford wine for the tables but am considering some other options

I am feeding people but would you expect at a birthday party

a) a drink on arrival
b) drink for toast
c) both
d) nothing - there is food and tea and coffee and you'd be happy to pay for your own booze

I don't want to make a terrible faux pas but I really have spent a fortune already

Would you judge if there was no booze and if I went for one option (and skinted myself) for drink what would be the most hospitable?

I would expect to pay for my own alcohol when invited almost anywhere.
And, be very happy to do so. You sound like a lovely host.

I would expect to be fed at a party but any free drink would just be a bonus not expected.

So D

Phew. I feel much better. And the more I think about it I realise I wouldn’t expect free drink at a 79th at lunch time so I think I’ll go for d but just let people know what’s provided. There is a bar so people can get a drink if they want one - thank you all

70th not 79th 😂 sorry mum 😂

D - but make sure there is something for children/those who don't drink tea or coffee (my 20+ year old son if invited).

Oh good point. I’ll sort some soft drinks even if it’s just some jugs of orange juice

70 year olds will not expect to pay for drinks. Won’t your mother pay? I would to save the embarrassment if it was my party.

They will hardly drink anything anyway

I don't drink but my husband who does would be fine with option d

It’s a mix of ages - uncles aunts cousins nephews etc

My mum is on pension credits so I can’t ask her to pay

Option D is absolutely fine.
You're providing a lot already. I really can't imagine anyone would be offended or disappointed by having to buy themselves a drink.
Have a lovely time.

For similar dos for similarly aged folk that I’ve been to afternoon tea-type buffet with tea, coffee and soft drinks is standard, maybe with a glass of something for a toast ... but you can go quite cheap on that by doing e.g. Buck’s Fizz or similar to eke the alcohol.

D is fine. Lunch and tea and coffee provided sounds lovely, hope you and your Mum enjoy the day.

definitely D. Totally wouldn't expect a free bar, particularly at a 70th birthday

D is absolutely fine, it'll be a few glasses of lemonade, the odd pint or glass of wine. People won't begrudge that when they're getting a free meal and cake!

D is perfect, especially for a lunch time gathering. If they choose to go to the bar just make sure they are charged there and then, and it's not added to the bill! (Have the bar staff pre warned) And yes, jugs of water/dilutable Orange on the tables will be a good idea. Enjoy!

D. I would more than happy with paying for drinks, regardless of what time of day.

Oh and regardless of whether alcoholic or not also. I wouldn't expect free drinks just because I was wanting tea/coffee/juice. I'd also be happy to pay for children's drinks.

D. At my dad’s funeral, there was a nice buffet, tea, coffee, paying bar. I think that’s pretty standard. It’s not a wedding where one might reasonably expect a glass of booze on arrival.

70 year olds will not expect to pay for drinks. Won’t your mother pay? I would to save the embarrassment if it was my party.

What embarrassment?? Op, ignore utter bollocks like this! Nobody apart from total grabbers go anywhere expecting free drink, and you don't want those sort at your party anyway.
D is absolutely fine, and your party sounds lovely, I hope you all have a super time.

Thank you

70 year olds will not expect to pay for drinks

My mum is 73 (and also on pension credit) and absolutely expects to pay for her own drinks - and has been known to slip fivers into bags/pockets/glasses cases if they won't let her get a round in.

D! Definitely D.
Your lucky mum - it sounds lovely

D. Honestly don’t worry. You sound like a really lovely daughter your mum is lucky to have you.

I think D, it’s lunchtime so people probably won’t be expecting alcohol. If anything, maybe a glass of fizz for a toast. Sounds like you’ve planned a lovely celebration, have fun!

I've never ever been to a birthday party where drinks have been paid for. I would have absolutely no issues with paying for my own drinks - in fact I'd expect to.
I wouldn't even do welcome drinks if I were you. It's a lunch for a birthday; not a wedding so please don't skint yourself for the sake of other people.
You've arranged a lovely buffet with dessert & tea and coffee - that is more than enough!!