Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help not texting him?

16 replies

WhiskyExchange · 28/08/2019 15:40

Split up with my ex a couple of months ago. I've been feeling fine, had a bit of a wobble a couple of weeks into the split. I asked him if he'd want to try again, he said no. Not spoken to him since and I've been feeling ok about it.

Today for some reason I'm really struggling with it. I'm at work and I can't concentrate, I keep thinking about him. I've been looking through his facebook page - I know I shouldn't be! I really want to text him and tell him that I miss him.

AIBU to ask you to tell me how much of a bad idea that would be? Or tell me I need to get a grip Wink

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 28/08/2019 15:42

Delete him!!

Don't be pathetic by begging him for attention after he rejected you!

NoBaggyPants · 28/08/2019 15:45

Distract yourself. Yoga, some sport, have a good rant about Brexit with the rest of us?

And yes, block before you distract!

SilverySurfer · 28/08/2019 15:46

Come on OP, you can do this. Black his number and delete on social media. Please don't lower yourself to do the 'pick me' dance'. It never works, makes you feel like shit ten times worse than before and gives his ego a boost and something to smirk at. Do you want to be that woman or do you want to be strong?

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 28/08/2019 15:46

Aw OP. I get it. You miss having a relationship.

But your relationship with him wasn't good or you wouldn't have split up.

Tell yourself the reasons why you split up wit him in the first place.

SilverySurfer · 28/08/2019 15:49

I can re-post that all in capital letters if that would make you do as I say? Smile

Have a Wine on me.

hereforyou · 28/08/2019 16:00

No advice OP I'm in almost the same situation.
I signed up to OLD today and saw my stbxh on there too and it has set me back hugely!
My trick with the texting is to take deep breaths and run over the scenario brutally and literally before making conversation with him:
E.g. He left you, he no longer wants to be your husband. He knows you want to make things work but doesn't feel the same. If he had changed his mind he would tell you.

Good luck x

CokeZeroHero · 28/08/2019 16:24

It's a bad idea. Why? Because he doesn't want to hear from you and he will think you are pathetic and annoying and he will pity you.

That will hopefully stop you x

taytosandwich · 28/08/2019 16:32

Block him on Facebook!

Original poster
WhiskyExchange · 28/08/2019 16:33

Thank you, I know he doesn't want to hear from me but I keep letting myself think that he might have changed his mind - I needed to hear that if he had he would have been in contact.

@hereforyou sorry about your stbxh Flowers it's horrible feeling like they've moved on while you're still hurting. Good luck with the OLD, I'm not at a stage where I feel like dating again yet. Had a quick look but it was just making me feel more sad because I realised I only wanted my ex and not someone else - I know I sound really pathetic!

OP posts:
ButterflyOne1 · 28/08/2019 16:34

Keep whatever self-respect you still have and don't text him!! It sounds like you were dumped, you begged for him back and he said no so please don't not make yourself look any more pathetic.

Block on Facebook, delete him number and start afresh.

AryaStarkWolf · 28/08/2019 16:36

Had a quick look but it was just making me feel more sad because I realised I only wanted my ex and not someone else - I know I sound really pathetic!

You should work on being happy in yourself and with yourself anyway before you think about meeting someone else. You'll get there

hereforyou · 28/08/2019 17:21

@WhiskyExchange I'm in exactly the same position. I thought male attention would make me feel better but it has done the opposite and nobody else is quite as good as him in my mind!

I'm sure we will both get past this and come out stronger and happier 😊😊

Original poster
WhiskyExchange · 28/08/2019 17:44

Yes @hereforyou I thought it might help me feel a bit better to at least go on a date with someone but it just ended up making me think about him more and wishing I was going on a date with him Hmm

I am trying to work on myself. Been taking the dog out for long walks, trying to eat a bit better and going out with friends to hopefully feel a bit better about myself. I have been generally ok, but today I really feel it and really miss him. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

OP posts:
crustycrab · 28/08/2019 17:55

Blocking and deleting every trace of him will speed the process up. Go for it. You don't need him

lemonyellowtangerine · 28/08/2019 18:05

You fix the hurting by moving forwards not backwards.

Today it hurts, tomorrow it might not, the day after it might hurt a little again. It doesn't stay the same. Notice how it changes on its own rather than trying to make it go away by chasing the past.

Be kind to yourself.

MatildaTheCat · 28/08/2019 18:34

Put a strong rubber band around your wrist and give it a sharp ping every time you feel tempted.

And fgs delete his number. If you lose control and text him you are going to feel much,much worse.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page