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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

coffee shop alias

11 replies

ladycarlotta · 28/08/2019 13:40

TLDR: I used a false name at a coffee shop that has now become my regular and I don't know how to climb down from it.

I moved to a different neighbourhood at the beginning of the year and my daughter was born shortly after. From when she was a few weeks old I started taking her for a walk in the sling for her first nap of the morning, and increasingly stopping off at a cafe to grab a pastry and a coffee for breakfast. At first a tried a few but settled on one which is objectively the best, and probably go there 2-3 mornings a week. The staff recognise me and we usually exchange pleasantries or have a nice chat.

My problem is that although it's very very rarely busy enough for them to ask for a name for my coffee, the first few times they asked I gave them my 'Starbucks name'. This is the fake name I always use in chain coffee shops as my real one is quite unusual and tricky to pronounce and spell, and it's just way less hassle to say something else to a person I'm never going to meet again. The fake one is vaguely similar to my real name, but definitely a distinct name and not a diminutive. Think Anna instead of Araminta or Sam instead of Sophronia.

Anyway, now the staff remember my fake name and today they greeted me with it. They are really nice and I feel so awkward about it - I don't know how to set it right without seeming totally mad. I'm sure they don't give that much of a shit about me in the scheme of things, but we have a pleasant relationship and I don't want to draw attention to myself as a total wacko. I used to be a barista at a similar kind of local cafe and really enjoyed the relationship I had with regulars - I liked being part of the community in that way. I think maybe if someone had confessed to using a false name I might have found it funny, but I'm not sure.

Changing to a different cafe is not an option, by the way: this one is definitely the best.

OP posts:
Reindeerssmellbetter · 28/08/2019 13:43

I wouldn't do anything just carry on letting them call you that.

Blueuggboots · 28/08/2019 13:49

I wouldn't care. Let them call you the name.

malmi · 28/08/2019 13:51

You don't say why you want them to use your real name. If you're not personally fussed then just keep using the alias. It's fine. If you feel close enough to them that would prefer them to start using your real name then you can just say 'I think I'd like to start using my real name instead of my nickname, it's a bit unusual' and I'm sure they'd be happy to learn it and start using it.

SleepyKat · 28/08/2019 14:00

I think you just have to keep going.

I use a fake name as nobody can spell my real one. Told the barrista it one day and he just said isn't it "real name". Turns out he's one of my uni students. There's 200 in a lecture so I don't know them personally but obviously he recognised me. So now he thinks he has a weirdo lecturer.

Toothproblems · 28/08/2019 14:18

Well it's not that unusual to have a nickname. So just keep using it

NoWayNoHow · 28/08/2019 14:30

You don't say why you want them to use your real name.

Op has said that her real name is tricky to pronounce and spell so she can't be bothered with the rigmarole when they ask for it at Starbucks etc.

I'd just leave it OP - if somehow, some day, you end up being friends with coffee shop people, it'll be a good ice breaker to tell them, "oh, by the way, can can stop calling me Jane as I'm actually Jacinta"

Milkstick · 28/08/2019 15:14

Ooh you have an alias. Now you have to write a book...

ladycarlotta · 28/08/2019 15:14

OK, maybe I'm overthinking. I feel a bit weird about it as I'm on friendly chatty terms with them and so it seems odd and over-involved to pretend my name is something that it isn't. Also a bit rude!

I should add that one of the staff keeps getting suggested to me by facebook as we have people in common. I know we both work in the arts, and the scene in this city is smallish - am conscious that at some point our paths might cross that way and it would be more weird?

But thank you, it's not like this is taking over my life or anything, it's just a weird conundrum.

OP posts:
BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 28/08/2019 15:17

I’d leave it & if they were ever to find out just say it’s your nn.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 28/08/2019 15:19

You’ve jus got to live with it the lies to deep.......

Jesse70 · 28/08/2019 17:14

I think your reasoning for giving a different name is totally acceptable
Just say the next time your in they won't think your mad I certainly don't

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