Is it selfish?

[Ilikecheeselotsandlots]

Posted in jobs but posting here for more traffic. Need to know if im being unreasonable
So i have a full time job, i dont hate it but also dont love it, it also requires me to be away from my children for chunks of time, pay isnt too bad. I have an interview which would be closer in subject to my degree (more than my current role), and its something i would love to do and you get a wage, not a great wage but its something. The problem is that it requires doing a course for 1 year for at least 2.5 hours away from where i live up to 3 days a week the rest of the time is at placement where i live. So i would probably have to stay away from home 3 days a week as it would cost more in money and time to travel there and back every day then to just book an air bnb. This only goes on for around 8 months (the 3 day learning days). At the end of the year the pay goes up quite a bit and you are guarenteed a job.
Is it worth it though?, im the main earner and partner stays at home and works around the kids. He has just said to find out the ifs and buts at the interview like if there is any money towards expenses etc.

The main thing is, am i being selfish, im meeting my need for more training and career progression but leaving my partner to be a lone parent 3 days a week fir nearly a year. AIBU?

What would you do?

I’d commute. I wouldn’t want to leave my children for three days a week by choice.

You also say the wage isn’t great which presumably means a pay cut to take the job. Does the wage rise at the end of the year make up for that lost income and then some.

I was going to ask you how many kids are involved and how old they are, but I think that’s relatively irrelevant. It sounds like you have a great opportunity to do paid training, a partner who is willing, and a very decent job at the end.

It will go fast. It’ll be harder on you than the kids, most likely. They’ll be fine. It sounds like a worthwhile investment.

I think for 8 months that's fine , there are long term benefits for your family and your DH sounds supportive and a good dad so go for it.

Thanks. 2 children over the age of 9, there will be a pay cut for for the year but them a good increase after that 1 year. I think i will do it if i get the job and they provide some funding for travel, i dont drive so would have to rely on trains so woukd have to leave at 6am every day just to arrive for 9. If theres good financial support seperate to the wage then hopefully it will be fine. Its just confusing.

Yes I would, I had to put my kids in full time child care last academic year from 7.30-6 5 days a week to study, I've got 2 years left and this year hopefully only 3-4 days per week and maybe less hours each day from January. I could have just got a job but I wanted a profession that would before worth while in the long run.

If your partner is around, it's fine for you to be away 3 days a week. I know several women who do this and it means they appreciate time with DC all the more. It works well. But will it be stressful to have a drop in earnings? Can you cope with that for a year? Definitely ask about expenses and ensure the salary, post-training makes up for it.

Go for it. It is not selfish at all.

Would you be asking this question if it was your husband needing to be away from home 3 days a week and you staying at home?

It sounds like you have a wonderfully, supportive husband who can take care of the kids and it's only for 8 months. It'll fly by and then you've improved the prospects for your whole family. Good luck.

Hi op

I also say do it!eight months is nothing and with a supporting partner and dc at an age where they don't need you as much as toddlers,it's a perfect chance for you.
The result will be you being happier at work therefore in general,you will have achieved something to be proud of,you will have more income and that will be financial security for your family.
Appreciate it will be long hours for you and hard work,but so worth it.
Good luck with the interview

Do it.

If you're really unsure, think about how you will feel after this year is up. After a hard year you could be starting the new job properly; the one you want, nearer to home after the training, with the pay rise.

Or you could still be in the position you're in now.

Which is best?