to feel pissed off

[Kmoore]

My sons birthday next week. Told anyone who is struggling what to get him to buy him Lego as he is really into this at the moment and I want to build his collection but asked to message first before buying as some sets are not his thing (ie Batman etc) he is more into the younger lego.
MIL asked what he would like so said again a lego set, but asked her to message me before she bought any to check as we have bought DS some as have many others and didn’t want duplicates etc.
This evening when at work I finish to see a message from MIL stating word for word

“Is this ok for DS (insert picture)”

I assume she is checking with me and tell her thank you but that that set is a bit too old for him and that another set would be better (sent picture of more appropriate set) and said anything along these lines etc.
Didnt get a reply.
Get home and DH tells me that MIL has also messaged him about the set and that she has already bought it and now she feels awful that DS might not like it and doesn’t understand why DH said yes it’s fine and I said it’s not.
My DH doesn’t have a bloody clue when it comes to this and think he has just seen it and said yes it’s fine.
Once I heard this I felt awful of MIL and messaged her to say “so sorry I didn’t realised you meant you had bought it already, and don’t worry I’m sure DH will absolutely love it, thank you”
Now my DH thinks I shouldn’t have messaged her again as she is upset!!
AIBU to be a bit pissed off that she is mad at me when she didn’t ask first before buying?

It's Lego.

Right now it appears central to your very being. 5 years time, this will not matter.

In fact, as a Lego connoisseur of 20 years 😉 in annoys me that there is this idea that one kit can only make one model. Let him combine the two sets and see where his imagination takes him!

It’s really not a big deal. Tell her to keep the receipt and you can change it for something else.

Also tell your DH to handle MILs enquires in future as you clearly can’t get it right according to him.

Yes I get that and I’m not actually bothered about the lego now, it’s her being mad at me I don’t get? I won’t bother messaging her again but it’s pissed me off that I’m in the wrong and she is ignoring me now

Is she mad at you? It’s a bit annoying that she didn’t buy exactly what you wanted but not worth people getting upset, surely?

I think you’re extrapolating. She probably isn’t mad at you. What makes you think that? Your dh?

I’d get your son to tell mil which set he wants. Lego shopping for the uninitiated can be daunting.

Unless people are buying technic Lego for a 5 year old which can be a little tricky I wouldn’t bother with the ages on the boxes.

I would try and relax a bit more about people buying gifts for your children. You can't really expect them to contact you for approval before buying. I think that really spoils the pleasure of giving a gift. Duplicate gifts happen in life and besides it's Lego. It doesn't really matter if you have more of the same bricks.

You haven't done anything wrong. It was a reassuring message you sent her and I doubt she's annoyed with you. She's probably just a bit upset.

If she’d already bought it I don’t see why she’d bother to ask.

Don’t worry about duplicates of things. We currently 5 batmen and apparently that’s not enough!

She has replied to DH messages but has read and is ignoring mine.
I’m not going to let it bother me now.
Realised I haven’t done anything wrong so am entitled to feel pissed at her mood with me.
I don’t mind what gifts he gets and would never ask people to buy certain things but when people don’t have a clue and insist I tell them what they can get him, then I tell them what I know he will love?
I prefer that people buy there own gifts but when asked it’s different.
Going to switch off now and go for a shower thanks for replies

Here's a tip,if you want something specific send a picture,link,specific name.

There are so many lego type sets out there all different ages and difficulty levels.

Maybe she was rushing. Maybe she thought that asking the child's father would be good enough. Maybe that set was discounted and suited her finances better.

For next year say thank you that's great unless it's a double and no receipt and get your husband more involved in your kid's life, so when his mother asks him,he'll actually know what he's talking about.

And let it go... it's a lego set not a build your own ikea wardrobe flatpack.