What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

[Diemme]

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

@Molly499 we would usually eat before 6. I’m luck enough to work flexi, so usually start work about 7 and finish by 4pm. I try to do intermittent fasting when I can, so usually don’t eat until 11:30 am, so am pretty hungry by 6pm and wouldn’t want to eat later than 7/7:30.

We eat at 10. Because by the time we finish work get home and cook.... sometimes 11 🙊

@Diemme YANBU. I cannot fathom how people can regularly eat a BIG MEAL after 8pm. On the rare occasion I have done it, it makes me feel ill. Heartburn and acid reflux, and I struggle to sleep as the food lies heavy on me.

Me and DH usually eat between half five and six pm. Very, very rare that we will eat later than that.

Anyone who looks down on people, and thinks they are 'better,' because they generally eat after 8pm, is a moron, and I would be giving them a very wide berth.

Does this kind of snobbery really exist or are you just imagining it? We eat no earlier than 7.30pm but certainly do not consider ourselves ‘Superior’ we just do not get in until later. I really wouldn’t worry, there are far more important things in life. Eat when you want, drink when you want and be merry 😊

@Happyhappy011
I suspect it does exist among the sort of people who are insecure and so spend a lot of time worrying about outdated "class markers". The rest of us just eat when we want to eat.

I’m just eating my dinner now- as I am writing this. I think therefore my superiority due to dinner at 22:00 (kids as well), is cancelled out by my eating whilst using a screen.

Incidentally I do often say supper, which to me means a late meal so would never be before 20:00. I have a friend who finishes work at around 17:00 and promptly goes home for his ‘tea’ at 17:30. It sounds quite twee to me and I’ve never heard others refer to the evening meal as ‘tea’. It is something that really stands out to me and I think of his ‘tea time’ when I think of him! Ridiculous small detail and none of my business.

I love food so much and I’m fat as a consequence of this love. I couldn’t accept that eating is over by 18:00.

OP I’d love to be sitting outside the house with a husband and a drink. I think your neighbours were very likely to have been snobby towards you but do not let it phase you. They may have just had an argument with each other and seeing your picture of contentment was too much for them. Enjoy the lovely evening!

Eating earlier is definitely more working class.

If I’m at work it’s 12 hour shifts
5:30 - cup of tea
Breakfast sometime between 9 and 10
Lunch between 12 and 1:30ish
I’ll have fruit or so for my tea between 5-6 until I get home and have whatever DH made

On days off breakfast and lunch at the same, tea is about 6pm

Definitely snobbery. I'd be inclined to cultivate my own tinkly little laugh and retaliate with, " how... TRADITIONAL of you! Most people THESE DAYS eat long before 8."

by the way, Dinner is the main meal of the day, whether you eat it at lunch time or in the evening. And Tea - as in cuppa with sandwiches and yummy cakes - is surely traditionally at 3pm, to keep you going until the 8pm posh dining time.

Breakfast lunch and tea here. Although dinner money and dinner ladies.

We eat between 6.30 and 7.

We are common northerners.

Don't most people eat around 7/8 as that's when restaurant bookings are generally busiest. Also I'm sure in hospital you get served dinner at noon/1 & supper at 5/6?

I used to eat at 7.30/8 due to commuting but now I have dc I tend to eat with them at around 6 or when they have settled & then it's 8.30

Also in the lunch/dinner thing. I call it lunch at work, dinner at home!

Sometimes I have dinner at 4.30/5. Who gives a shit what other people think. I feel sick if I eat to late at night. If I had dinner at 8pm my stomach would be churning.
I've never met anyone who gives a toss when other people eat their dinner

Supper is a last snack before bed here

Indeed. It's what you eat wearing pyjamas and slippers.

I always thought it was a north/south divide thing. Southerners eat as late as they can (my friend starts cooking at 8pm!) We're northerners so eat at 5.30-6ish. I'd hate to eat later. Northern 'tea' leaves you the evening free to do other things.

Heartburn and acid reflux, and I struggle to sleep as the food lies heavy on me

Literally never had this issue, thankfully.

Northern 'tea' leaves you the evening free to do other things

Making and eating a meal takes the same amount of time though, whenever you do it. We eat at 9ish, but if we ate at 5 we’d still have the same amount of hours in which to do other things. They’d just be different hours.

We are out before 7 and home at 8ish. Dinner at 9 with Lunch inbetween. If I didn't work I'd have a snack at 10ish and my main meal before 6. Did that as a sahm. I was thin then.

We eat at around 7 each evening, it just suits our routine.

Don't most people eat around 7/8 as that's when restaurant bookings are generally busiest.

Maybe that's because people like to come home from work and get showered and changed before going out for dinner? Whereas at home the schedule might be different.

I read a well balanced article on this a while back. I recall the healthiest people ate early, typically around 6pm, and there were many examples of fit elderly French people who did so and who also would never drink alcohol much after the same time. The key was down to leaving a long space between evening meal and breakfast so that the stomach could empty.

It's so much better for you and your sleep to eat your dinner earlier in the evening rather than a couple of hours before bed.

Besides, a bowl of crisps grabbed at 10pm because you fancied it is so much more enjoyable than one at 5pm because it's 4 hours since lunch and 3 hours until dinner and you're famished already!

If you eat at 6 you can go and do something else for the evening. I think that’s the point a pp was making.

The key was down to leaving a long space between evening meal and breakfast so that the stomach could empty

I don’t eat breakfast until around 11am so dinner at 9pm is fine for these purposes.

We have our tea between 6 and 7.

My neighbour has ‘supper’ around 8:30pm. We have an evening meal around 6:30pm.

She does look down on us about this and other differences. I don’t give a flying fig tbh . She is quite a grumpy person generally with an air of displeasure about her being.