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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel incredibly down about my weight and appearance ?

18 replies

Soconfused84 · 27/08/2019 17:53

I have struggled all my life with weight , I've been a size 10 when I was 18 (virtually starved myself to be that size) right up to a 20 , I'm now a 16/18 huge boobs, hips are so wide but now with fat added it looks ridiculous. Not only that my hair is so fine it hardly grows , I feel so incredibly shit about myself. I know people will say diet, exercise, get thyroid checked etc and I've done all these in the past , the only way I successfully loose is by literally virtually starving myself and it's depressing basically. I obsess on jumping on aand off the scales all day , look in the mirror hoping some miraculous miracle has saved me ,. Just felt like a rant really , my dp is very lovely and says I'm gorgeous , but I really don't feel it at all ,😒

OP posts:
Aikaterina · 27/08/2019 19:37

You are more than your appearance. I know it’s hard because as women we’re told that we need to be skinny and look a certain way to succeed in life, but that’s not true.

Be kind to yourself and try and start focusing on enjoying life and looking after your mental health. Your DP thinks you’re gorgeous, believe him!

Bambamber · 27/08/2019 19:40

What is your eating like now?

pinksquash13 · 27/08/2019 19:53

You are indeed more than what you look like. Are you caring? Are you a good friend? Are you good company? I'm sure you are more valued than you feel.

Don't obsess with your weight. Try to accept you as you are now and dress well (perhaps get one of those free personal shopper experiences at department store). Invest in whatever will make you feel good e.g. skincare, make up, exercise classes, new glasses or whatever. I find this helps me. Sending positive vibes

Rubyupbeat · 27/08/2019 21:26

I have the most beautiful friend, inside and out. And you could be her talking.
She has recently been diagnosed with body dismorphia and having counselling. I can already see the change in her confidence.
Maybe it's worth talking to your g.p. ?

Cabezona · 27/08/2019 21:29

Its never as bad as you think it is. You could have described me. I'm buying some weights tomorrow and following some Instagram workouts. Then when my confidence is up I will go to the gym I've been paying for.

You can be happy with your appearance. You don't have to be thin to be beautiful x

CSIblonde · 27/08/2019 21:36

Have you been checked for anaemia & low Vit D as that makes hair really thin. I'd take Vit B & D. Then I'd look at just eating healthier & cutting portion size not 'dieting'. I still have chocolate but once a week. I decided I wouldn't miss crisps & fizzy drinks so those went. If I fancy a biscuit I have fruit instead (& stopped buying them as I can't have just one). Then I added in 7min daily beginners workout from You Tube & I'm feeling massively better & steadily losing weight. It's hard work at first but after 2monrhs it's your routine & just habit, not a trial.

orangejuicer · 27/08/2019 21:39

Just sending some Flowers.

Re: fine hair, is it possible you have PCOS?

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 27/08/2019 21:53

Same here. I had a little success with low carb but could t exercise on it and so stopped and inevitably gained more back.
I'm sure you don't look how you feel. Some good tips here I need to take on board too

QuimReaper · 27/08/2019 21:59

Following with interest for more tips on hair!

OP how's your diet now? If you are naturally curvy (broad shoulders and hips, big breasts) then I think you're very lucky, as you'll be able to carry a little excess weight much more easily than some.

AliceAbsolum · 27/08/2019 22:03

Do you think you might have body dysmorphic disorder?

GilbertMarkham · 27/08/2019 22:03

What form/s of exercise have you tried/ do you like or dislike?

Personally I find gyms, for example, a boring, noisy, headache inducing, synthetic, hard way of exercising. But I find walking/hiking/jogging (when you've built up.a bit walking) to be much more natural and enjoyable. You can do it places with nice scenery, you can play your favourite upbeat music, you can incorporate it into your commute/daily grind etc.

Swimming is also good - supports joints while exercising.

YouTube free vids are also excellent, as other posters have said .. you can do it at home any time you get the chance. I like "fitness blender". Build up adding a video when you can (between a warm.io vid and cool down).

If you can get a mate to go walking/hiking, it's often easier as you can chat and be sociable while doing it.

Soconfused84 · 28/08/2019 10:46

Thanks for all replies , I haven't had iron levels checked on ages but will do that. I've never been checked for PCOS I have 3 children so pregnancies didn't help. An everyday example of my eating goes up and down some days I hardly eat anything then others I pick all day to compensate I guess , I used to go to the gym but can't afford it anymore . My job is sedentary , I do walk quite a bit , I could possibly have body dismorphic syndrome , I once took a knife to my hips in tears wishing I could cut the excess fat off Blush but that was when I hit a real real low About 10 years ago . I can't bear to look.at myself naked. I feel like one day I just woke up and look like this huge mess of flab. I will try and get an appointment with the gp , but it's an embarrassing thing to discuss they will think I'm nuts and I know gp time.is so precious I'd feel like I'm.wastung my time moaning about trivial things like weight when they will think the obvious

OP posts:
Soconfused84 · 28/08/2019 10:47

*wasting their time not mine

OP posts:
alittleprivacy · 28/08/2019 11:31

Changing your weight and appearance (and most importantly, how you feel about your body) can't be done by dieting especially considering the kind of erratic eating behaviours you describe. And I'll be very honest, you are unlikely to ever have continuing positive feelings about your body while you continue as you are. The lifestyle you describe does not lend itself to feeling good about yourself.

You need to do two things and you can do them right now.

One: Make a GP appointment to have a blood work up. Check for any physical deficiencies that you make need supplementation or even medication for. Nutritional or hormonal deficiencies are a common cause of depression and anxiety, so if you need supplementation you could find yourself feeling significantly better before you know it.

Two: Decide right now to change your diet for good. Do you know what eating pattern makes you feel best? Personally I need at least 3 meals a day. A really, really good breakfast. A filling dinner mid afternoon. And an evening meal that is as big or small as my body dictates at the time. But always something, even if it's as small, a banana and a glass of milk. I also eat fruit and veg as snacks throughout the day whenever I feel the need. I'm starting a relatively physical mainly outdoors job soon, and I know from experience that I'll be adding some sort carb/protein snack to that around noon. Work out what meal pattern is best for you and commit to it. Then commit to eating fresh and healthy foods as much as possible.

If you eat a lot of processed sugar, cut it out completely for a while. (This includes alcohol.) Not forever but it's an insanely addictive food and you need to break the addiction to reset your appetite. It will take a few months but you'll feel better for not being beholden to an addiction and instead back in touch with your body. Be careful of artificial sweeteners. There is emerging evidence to show they make us hungrier as they trigger a redundant insulin response. Eat all the fruit you want and ignore nonsense about naturally occurring sugars in fruit. Our bodies react completely differently to an apple than they do to a chocolate digestive. If you like sweet, eat fruit.

Consider if you are eating too much simple carbohydrates. I don't hold to cutting out a necessary food group but most people with sedentary lifestyles eat too many carbs. One substantial helping of simple carbs like rice/potatoes/pasta with dinner along with all the carbs in fruit and veg are enough for people who don't do a lot of physical activity. Replace them with filling, health proteins like eggs and full fat dairy. Avoid low fat dairy, as it's nothing more than a source of extra, needless sugar and not as filling. If you eat dairy, eat full fat and as natural as you can get.

See the doctor and change your diet. Decide that as of now you are someone who eats sensibly and healthily. This is not a diet, not a fad, but your new lifestyle. The only part that's temporary is to avoid unhealthy treats until your new lifestyle feels ingrained. Then you can add chocolate/cake/alcohol or whatever back in on an occasional basis. Being mindful to cut it out for a week or so if you start craving again. You won't see immediate changes but just be having a steady eating pattern you will feel better before too long. And bit by bit you should see positive body changes.

Thirdly there is the final step. Physical activity. Personally, pushing myself into an exercise routine wouldn't work. I'm too lazy and/or too busy to exercise for exercise's sake. But this year I took up skating as an ongoing hobby. I love to skate. I will make sacrifices in order to be able to skate. I will never prioritise a netflix binge watch over a chance to skate. I'll never waste an hour on the internet if it's time I could have skated for. I have become insanely strong and fit by accident. I would never skate or do any exercise in order to get fit, but a by product of my hobby is increasing fitness. I've also reached a stage where that fitness has improved my skating, so I will now stay fit in order to maintain my skating ability when I can't skate. It's a lovely version of a vicious circle. So find your skating. It's not easy as a working parent but find something physical that you love. That you need to do for the love of it rather than as a bid to change your body. Then body changes are just gravy. And even more than that, your pride in the body that lets you achieve in the thing you love will change how you feel about your body. It's no longer about how it looks but about the mazing things it can do for you.

KarmaStar · 28/08/2019 13:57

Hi op @alittleprivacy has said it all,really great advice.
Have you tried dancing?a friend started as hated the gym and wanted to tone up and have fun and she has achieved both.☺
A cross trainer at home is a good investment,if a new one is too expensive then try gumtree for a decent used one.(or not so used hence the selling)😊
We come in all shapes and sizes and if you're not naturally a size ten,don't make yourself ill to be one,it's just not worth it.
Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself :I am a beautiful strong person who is loved and I love myself.
Wishing you lots of luck and a happy future 💐

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 28/08/2019 14:09

Thanks to @alittleprivacy for all that advice. Really excellent.

I myself have been doing what she suggests in her post, for about two years now.

I have gradually lost six stone as a result. Not from faddy eating or low-carb dieting but by eating sensibly and definitely cutting out the useless carbs (sugar/alcohol/cakes/sweets etc.)

You can do it if I can.

I still have four stone to lose but I am not obsessing over it. It will happen.

When I get fed up of the whole thing I try to see the bigger picture, and remember all the clothes I have gradually taken to the charity shop.

I am still a size 20 but heading towards a size 18 now.

Take charge of what you eat and don't think you have to starve yourself. There is no need.

Good luck.

Soconfused84 · 28/08/2019 15:09

Thank you all for your advice I'm feeling a bit better today . I do limit carbs as I'm not overly keen on bread , potatoes etc I will get an appointment for blood work also

OP posts:
marriedwithhounds · 28/08/2019 15:19

Try following I_weigh on Instagram, as well as other body positive pages - little by little it will help you to remember that your physical appearance is beautiful. It has helped me to stop myself being unkind to myself xx

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