Being off work but going out at the weekend

[SpoiltDog]

More if a WWYD?

I had a missed miscarriage and yesterday had medical management at the hospital. It was really awful, I was in a lot of pain and vomitting. Ive still been cramping and bleeding heavily at home and emotionally am not in a great frame of mind.

This has come at a really awful time as I'm due to get married in a couple of weeks. It's actually my hen do this weekend (nothing too wild as I had been pregnant but could now include some well needed drinks ).

I've been off work today obviously but am unsure what to do tomorrow. I still have to go back to the hospital on Friday as I hadn't yet passed the pregnancy so they want to scan me. If I can go on Saturday I really want to. I want something fun to take my mind off this and to just laugh with my friends instead of crying in bed.

But I'm also now unsure what to do about work. Can I be off work but go out on Saturday? My job is very stressful and high pressure. I'm nervous about cracking whilst there especially considering this isn't actually over yet and I won't know until Friday what the next steps are.

WWYD?

Bit upset today. I've come into work yesterday and today (and cried in the loos a few times) but have gotten on with it quite well I think.

I said to my boss today that it's the last day my work email sign off will have my current surname (as I'm off next week and have the follow up with the hospital and potential surgery tomorrow as mentioned up thread) and she said 'oh are you not coming back at all tomorrow then?' Like she was quite annoyed.

Obviously if I need the surgery there's no way I can come back into the office but my check up appointment isn't until 11 anyway so I wasn't planning on coming back. They usually take at least an hour to see you and the hospital is an hour there and back (have to go to large city centre one due to the issues I've been having) so wouldn't be late afternoon until I could come in anyway. WIBU to just go home afterwards even if I don't need the surgery? I'm still so upset about all this. I'm not fine but have tried my hardest to be here these past two days despite still cramping and feeling awful mentally when I could have just been signed off and not come in at all.

sorry for your loss, OP

However, I think it would not be appropriate to be signed off because of a miscarriage and then going out on Saturday night.

Shift, I haven't been signed off. I've come into work yesterday and today. But now work seem to think I should come in tomorrow as well (when the hospital have said I'll potentially need surgery to remove any left over products of the pregnancy which is causing me stress as it is).

My head is literally pounding from all this. I just feel like I'm being pulled one way and the other like there's so much pressure on me to just get on with it and pull myself together.

I don't think it's inappropriate at all.

As at Monday the OP hadn't properly miscarried yet it seemed and so appears to be in a bit of limbo until tomorrow when she'll know for sure.

That's a very emotionally traumatic thing to go through and most people would struggle in a high pressured work environment whilst having that playing over their minds.

That's not even including the fact that induced miscarriages can be painful and messy too so I'm not surprised you wouldn't want to be in work whilst it was ongoing.

OP has already said that she wouldn't go to her hen do either if things weren't sorted by then but I don't think it's unreasonable to want some time for both the physical and emotional aspects of what she must be going through and if possible, enjoy a bit of downtime with your friends. Providing she's well enough physically, it's the exact sort of thing she should be doing.

And no I wouldn't go in tomorrow either. Just cut yourself some slack OP. You don't need to be 100% all the time, especially not in these circumstances.

Ahhhh bless you.
SOOO anyway.
Hope all goes sorry for your loss.
As for going on your stag night absolutely.
You don`t get paid when your not in work and your allowed sick days.
Hope all goes well with your appointments.

Thank you.