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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Urghhhhh neighbour!

73 replies

Iwanttoflyaway · 27/08/2019 16:35

So we've recently moved into our new house about 6 months ago. Both sides were lovely then.

Anyways at the front of the house, my house and neighbors is separated by a hedge. Last time they were trimming it down I went out and asked if they minded if we let that grow longer. They used to trim it so short they could see into our living room from their front garden. They agreed etc. Said sure no problem.

So today Ive just popped out and it's been trimmed down again. Arghhhhhhh

The back story to this is at the back garden we had some trees trimmed down. And the same neighbours came round asking our tree surgeon if they would chop a branch from our tree that was hanging into their garden. We told them how much the tree surgeon charges per branch etc and if you wanted it done you'd need to hire him separately. They weren't happy.

So now what and who is being aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwanttoflyaway · 27/08/2019 17:15

Thanks everyone for your replies. Guess I have been slightly un neighbourly. Better get round there with cakes or something

OP posts:
bamboocat · 27/08/2019 17:15

At least your neighbour cuts the hedge neatly and doesn't let it grow wild and out of control.

How often is anyone actually in their front garden and peering in your window anyway?

womenspeakout · 27/08/2019 17:17

If you wanted them to do you a favour with the hedge, then maybe you should have just let the man trim that one branch instead of telling them to hire out the man who was already there.

gilliansgardenbench · 27/08/2019 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jesaminecollins · 27/08/2019 17:21

If you want to build a good relationship with your neigbor you must not charge him for this - just a suggestion

Chloemol · 27/08/2019 17:23

Your solicitor will tell you where the boundary is. If it’s thier hedge, but you don’t want them looking into your property ( and I would not) then put a fence up if you are allowed, or plant your own hedge on your land and let it grow

RelaisBlu · 27/08/2019 17:27

I would have agreed to the tree surgeon taking the overhanging branch off there & then - it's only one branch and in the interests of neighbourly good relations. I would not have charged them

RosaWaiting · 27/08/2019 17:32

“ They used to trim it so short they could see into our living room from their front garden”

Wait, so they like to peer into your living room?

ivykaty44 · 27/08/2019 17:36

You want them to do you a favour
But when they ask you for a favour you say - no

Get real op and think 🤔 about how your behaviour looks

FamilyOfAliens · 27/08/2019 17:40

Better get round there with cakes or something

Just behave like a normal neighbour, no need for cakes.

LtJudyHopps · 27/08/2019 17:41

Is it possible the hedge blocks sunlight or their view of the road? We had hedges on both sides and if not trimmed one would block the view of the road for my Nan as she’s only small! She looks out for her lifts arriving etc not just nosing at the neighbours ;)

HeadintheiClouds · 27/08/2019 17:43

You were a complete arse to refuse to trim the overhang of your tree because the tree surgeon charges by branch!! This is not usual btw, so you have probably been screwed over yourself...
The neighbours can do what they like with their hedge and obviously couldn’t give a toss what you’d prefer after that bit of nasty nonsense.

timshelthechoice · 27/08/2019 17:52

YABVU.

Rivkka · 27/08/2019 17:57

Cakes is good, don't start a war when you're in the wrong.

sophe · 27/08/2019 18:09

Cor, you tight wad. Stories circulate about people like you in the local pub.

It reminds me of the Hancock sketch about an 'armful'. It would have been a decent neighbourly thing to do the get your guy to lop off at that branch at your expense while he was doing your job (it is your tree causing the nuisance after all) and to have banked some good will. But no. You are a determined to have the full armful, gal. Enjoy.

ControversialFerret · 27/08/2019 18:24

Charging by the branch? Find a different tree surgeon.

Mine has a day rate which is adjusted to the nearest half day, then a flt rate for additional labourers to help him.

I'm not surprised the neighbour is pissed off - it was a bit spiteful to say no given that it's your tree! They are under no obligation to grow their hedge up - if being overlooked is bothering you then plant your own within your boundary.

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/08/2019 18:27

Francis I don’t know if it’s different in Scotland, but in England, the hedge is not the boundary. The hedge is just a plant that happens to be roughly where the boundary is. Conventionally people normally take responsibility for maintaining a boundary marker (like a hedge) on one side of the property but they aren’t (normally) legally obliged to do so and their neighbour is entitled to put up their own fence or hedge along the boundary if they want. Often neighbours share fences or hedges, sometimes when one party stops putting effort in the neighbour takes over because they want to keep it. In this case, while the OP has been in the house, the neighbours have been maintaining it. It is often tricky or impossible to find out what the original situation was after multiple people have moved in and out of the houses and doing so is almost always disproportionate to the problem.

Hiredandsqueak · 27/08/2019 18:31

You really did yourself no favours with the tree no wonder they chopped down the hedge. They are being polite now not friendly.
I've had the gardener chop back a shrub on my front after the neighbour asked, not because it bothered me or because it encroached on her garden but because she is nosey and it stops her seeing to the top of the cul de sac where her SIL lives. It keeps peaceful relations and she won't object now if I ask if she will trim the shrub that is against the fence on the back.

DoolinEnnis · 27/08/2019 18:40

Put up a fence on your side of the boundary. They keep their hedge and no-one is looking into your living room 👌🏻

Janedoughnut · 27/08/2019 19:49

OP I'm not going to add to what others have said but I had a similar problem with neighbours nosying in as the side of my house is the boundary so when they are on their drive they always used to look in.

I stuck privacy film onto my wndows so I can see out but looking in is just a mirror. Much cheaper than a fence!

dollydaydream114 · 28/08/2019 09:29

The branch thing pissed us off because instead of them coming to us first they went to the tree surgeon and asked him

Well, so what? How were they to know you'd engaged the only tree surgeon in Britain who charges by the branch? They wouldn't have been expecting it to add to the cost of your bill.

They probably just didn't want to bother you by knocking on the door and asking you to ask the tree surgeon when they could just pop outside and say 'Excuse me mate, I don't suppose you could just lop this branch off as well, could you?'

My neighbours have a tree which overhangs our garden and when they got it pruned they just asked us if we wanted the tree surgeon to do our side as well and if so could we just leave the gate open so he didn't have to climb over the fence. We would do the same for them. In fact I have lopped off branches from our own tree on the other side because I noticed they were getting in the way of the other neighbours' kids' swings.

Battytwatty · 28/08/2019 09:38

I’m on the OPs side in this. They approached the tree surgeon, who was working on ANOTHER tree and asked him to cut off a branch on a different tree (if I’ve read that right). CF’s ! I’d have said no on principle too.
OP I think the relationship has been damaged now. Just stick to being polite rather than friendly with them

Original poster
Iwanttoflyaway · 28/08/2019 09:59

@Battytwatty thank you not everyone can see that.

The ones asking about getting charged per branch from the tree surgeon. As he wasn't working on the actual tree itself and we only wanted a large branch removing he said he'll do it for £20

OP posts:
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