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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Present or no present?

4 replies

ConundrumHelp · 27/08/2019 10:16

My parent’s best friends since school are quite wealthy and have one daughter. Their daughter and I have grown up together and were best friends until a few years ago. She is spoilt and obsessed with money, gets whatever she wants and is so competitive whereas I am more laid back. I was probably seen as a doormat compared to her.

We fell out a few years ago when I got with my now DH and she realised I wouldn’t be at her beck and call anymore. She made no effort to get to know him and was offended when I wouldn’t tell her his salary when she asked. Since then the friendship has limped on with the odd text here and there but as things are now, we haven’t been in touch since December.

I don’t particularly want to rekindle the friendship as I’ve realised she’s not a nice person to be around but it’s her birthday in a few weeks. Do I get her a present? Her birthday falls before mine and Christmas so I will be the one to set the precedent as it were.

I still get her parents a Christmas present and I’ve been told that I’m in their will. My parents are still best friends with them so I don’t want to make things awkward for them.

In reality, we will always be linked via our parents so it's not possible to cut her out.

OP posts:
DeadDoorpost · 27/08/2019 10:18

Youve not been in contact for 8 months and she's not really a nice person. Maybe a card at most but not a present.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2019 10:23

No present. She sounds awful. What's it to her what your husband earns?! Did she come to your wedding? (Did she get you an amazing gift?)

Your parents being friends doesn’t at all mean you have to have anything to do with her. You’re both adults, it’s nothing to do with your parents.

GoldPaperStars · 27/08/2019 10:24

I agree with PP. Send a card but no gift. It shows willing and isn’t such a big statement as sending nothing, but sets the tone for what you would like your friendship to be going forwards.

AmIThough · 27/08/2019 10:32

I'd send her a card and a bunch of flowers. Generic gift but no awkwardness.

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