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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at this

17 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 26/08/2019 22:23

Brother split with his wife last April. Both him and his ex found new partners within 4 months and are both extremely happy. My 8 year old niece has also remained very happy and I have been told that they are all having the most fun ever.
To add some background, my brother and his ex never argued or had a volatile relationship in front of my niece and it was a shock split.
I just feel it has been very easy and happy all round (Despite my brother and ex barely speaking ) and I wonder if it will hit my niece in time or if it will remain super blissful.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 26/08/2019 22:26

There’s no rule that everybody has to be traumatised and devastated. The possibly explained it calmly and prepared your DN for the split. I’m still good friends with my exH, there’s no animosity, kids are fine, the friends they have with non divorced parents are the minority.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 26/08/2019 22:27

Brother was devastated right up until he met his new partner. Otherwise I would agree with you.

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 26/08/2019 22:29

Plenty of people separate perfectly amicably, you know. The lack of drama just means that we don't hear much about it.

Bookworm4 · 26/08/2019 22:40

I meant the child not being devastated as they’ve obviously put her first with no drama, tbh he can’t have been that devastated if he met someone after 4 mths Confused

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 26/08/2019 22:43

He said it wasn't planned on both sides and that he has now found his true soulmate and can see his ex for who she is. He complains about his ex constantly.
Yes, they have kept the child out of their bickering but she always saw his mum and dad as very happy together so am surprised at how well she has adapted to the new arrangement and hope that it stays like that.

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 27/08/2019 09:12

Some people say things are super blissful when they arent really. Its like the people who are "delighted" at everything, all the time. When they're not

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 27/08/2019 12:41

I would say the same normally but it really is blissful

OP posts:
katesalwayslate · 27/08/2019 13:13

My parents split when I was younger and it was lovely to see them with their new partners. You sound like you're almost disappointed it's been this easy and un-traumatic for them all!??

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 27/08/2019 13:27

Dont be ridiculous. Why would I be disappointed? I love my family.

I posted as I am surprised it has all gone so smoothly in such a short space of time. As I said, my niece thought her parents to be very happy together and has adapted extremely well to having them move on very quickly with new partners. I don't have children of my own so wondered if this was the norm or if it will impact on her later on.

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 27/08/2019 13:33

It doesn’t sound smooth to me at all Confused he was devastated by the split and now badmouths his ex to you?

I’m glad they kept their daughter out of their issues. It’s not a given that a child will be upset or traumatised by a split.

Ravenblack · 27/08/2019 13:36

What a very odd thread. 2 people split up, and then moved on fairly quickly. And their daughter is content and happy.

Would you rather they had all been upset and depressed and thoroughly miserable for 5 or 6 years instead @IceAndASlice123 ?? And the daughter had been more traumatised by it all? Confused

As a pp said, you sound a bit pissed off and disappointed that they are happy.

How weird. Confused

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 27/08/2019 13:37

I meant in terms of finding someone so quickly who is perfect for him. Yes he does still badmouth his ex a lot but feels his new partner is the one he should have been with all along.
Hopefully he has just got very lucky and I also hope my niece will continue to be as happy as she has been

OP posts:
Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 27/08/2019 13:39

For goodness sake. Where did I say I was unhappy that they were happy?
Everything gets twisted here. 😐

I wanted to know if this was the norm. That is all. Please do not put words in my mouth and accuse me of not caring about them. They are my world. I don't have to prove that to anyone.

OP posts:
Ravenblack · 27/08/2019 13:42

You didn't have to say directly that you are unhappy they are happy.

Your original posts speaks volumes. And more than one poster thinks it.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 27/08/2019 13:48

Think what you like. I know the truth.

I wamted some sensible advice and feedback but I guess that was asking too much.
How sad to jump to such bad conclusions of people.

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 27/08/2019 13:53

I have no experience at all in this area, all I will say is that hopefully your niece will continue to be happy with her situation; and that if it all goes south later on, that you as a loving aunt will be there for her.

Jesse70 · 28/08/2019 13:34

I was young when my parents split and it didn't bother me at all my siblings were a bit older and had some issues I still have no issues

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