To get excited about starting ivf?

[Maybe2020]

Speaking to my friend today who knows all about mine and my partners struggle to concieve, we are starting our first icsi the end of this year time.
We have mfi and probably won’t ever concieve naturally after trying for 6+years.
My friend said I am a fool for getting my hopes up as it probably won’t work and it took 7 goes for her cousin to even see a bfp.
I thought sorry but after years of me getting nowhere near having a bfp or even a baby I’m actually excited ( odviously very nervous) to start the icsi as it’s the only chance we’ve got.
I know ivf is a hard thing to go through and it’s more than likely not to work on the first go, but I haven’t any fertility issues myself and have got pregnant previously with an ex partner. We are also both nearly 30 so I’m assuming our chances are pretty high despite my ohs severe male factor.
We got into the conversation this afternoon because I had bought a baby teddy after a very hard day the other week ( baby showers and announcements galore the entire week) got me really down so I bought it while browsing in a shop, she said it was odd.
I’ve never bought anything before.
Am I being and idiot and setting myself up for major disappointment?

Good luck! It is exciting to actually start the process as you have a chance of it working. You do need to be realistic though; to put it into perspective, there's apparently nothing wrong with me yet out of 9 IVF attempts (fresh and FET) I've only had one successful pregnancy despite getting a positive five times (yes, that means four miscarriages). It can be soul destroying but it can also be miraculous. My friend did IVF, could only afford one attempt, only got one embryo but it worked.

You should be excited! Good luck x

I do know what you mean, although I was obviously terrified too.
It finally felt like I could do something to maybe have a baby... I had acupuncture, took vitamins, walked daily and rested to give myself the best chance.
You have to have hope otherwise why bother?! Your friend was not supportive!!!!
Keeping 🤞 that this works xx

Your “friend” sounds like an insensitive arse

Good luck! Positive thinking can only be a good thing, even if it just helps you cope with it all better!

Of course YANBU! I think your friend is misguidedly trying to manage your expectations but it sounds as if you're fully aware of the fact that it might not work, and you're being realistic as well as positive. I think that's a good mindset to be in. Stick around here because you'll get fantastic support from the infertility boards, and good luck!

Good luck! Xx

She's trying to get you to see it might not work. It doesn't for a lot of people, but age is on your side.

IVF can be stressful and test the best of relationships.

Good luck.

Try to be realistic else the fall if it doesn't work will be harder to take however I really think positive thinking helps. I wrote a short diary during IVF and recorded videos of my injections etc. to keep me optimistic and happy. I also bought special socks and PJs for after my egg collection and some books to read as well as special toiletries. I tried to remind myself that even if it didnt work it would be the most pregnant I'd ever been once I had transfer as I dont know if I've ever had a fertilised egg inside me. It all made me very very positive and we had an excellent first round with 15 fertilised eggs, all making it to the end and having a good batch of 5 top grade A (the rest the clinic didnt keep). I had 4 frozen and one went it. Baby is now kicking me while I write this and I am due in under 2 months.

Basically I am saying it can and does work first time, optimism in my view helps but be prepared incase it doesn't work x

You can be excited whilst still understanding the realities of the process and the odds of success! Of course you should be excited to start the treatment which could result in a baby! I know I was when my ivf journey started. Wishing you lots of luck!

I was excited as well, yes it can be a hard process but I felt positive that we were doing something that had some form of structure to it rather than years of TTC and getting nowhere. Before my first cycle I bought a soft toy too, kept it tucked away. I've now had two cycles resulting in one 3.5 year old and one 30 week cooking away. Good luck and stay positive!

My sister underwent ivf after 10 years of trying for a baby.
She was 33 her husband was in his 40s and she fell pregnant first time and had twins.
Nothing wrong about feeling excited, I'm sure you know the statistics.

Good luck

Of course feel excited! It's an amazing intervention that does transform people's lives.

But do pick a good clinic and do think, as it sounds like you're doing, in terms of it being a repeated process. I think personally you need to think in batches of 3 (if you can afford it).

I actually started knitting a baby cardigan on my third of ivf because I found it really scary to be injecting clexane every night, and it cheered me up! Plus I was at a clinic which had a 70 per cent success rate once you put a blastocyst back, so I felt like I could be presumptuous.

Good luck! It is amazing!

It is exciting to start IVF and such a relief to feel you're finally in with a chance. However. Have you asked what the chances of success are for you and your partner? Be prepared for down regging to be horrible and it goes on forever. The exciting bit is the last couple of weeks where you finally get to find out what you and your partner can produce. Then there is the agonising 2ww. Pace yourself emotionally. Huge good luck to you

Good luck. ICSI worked for us first time, so there is hope, and you seem to be realistic about your chances.

Good luck x

Good luck, IVF worked for us on 2nd attempt, rather than pinning all your hopes on round one, work out how many attempts you could actually afford and the timescale these would be over, this will help in the event of round one not working. Also no matter how excited you are, tell as few people as possible, makes it so much easier if it doesn’t work. Good luck though OP, it can and does happen 1st time xx

YANBU. Wishing you every success and luck in the world OP

Good luck. It is exciting and its confirmation that something is wrong and you do need help. But.... It's a roller-coaster. We have succeeded and failed at ivf and whilst I found the process easier than most, the risk of miscarriage seems to be high. The two week wait is hell but nothing compared to the 7 week wait to see if the line turns into a heartbeat.
Don't pay attention to egg numbers and fertilisation. My super round of many embryos returned no babies but my crap round where I had loads of eggs but only one fertilised and survived was a success and is sleeping next door.
Never say never though. It's not impossible to get pregnant naturally with mfi. This I know first hand!

2nd attempt was successful and i was 40 when I have my DD. It's ok to be excited, it's a step forward to your goal. It's such an emotional rollercoaster but the staff were so lovely and supportive, thats so important. Take care and I wish you all the best xxx

@allthatmalarkey our consultant just said it was 1 in 3 would get pregnant and that was based on our age range and the treatment we are doing. I did a self quiz thing on the internet which gave me an overall 44% chance of it working each round but I’m just trying not to get my hopes up as I really don’t think it will work first go, I think because of years of infertility I really can’t imagine now what it would be like to be pregnant and have a baby.
I’m just trying to hold onto a bit of hope that it could work and if I look at baby clothes/items I get excited and think maybe I could be getting those things for my own baby soon.
Think it’s making me a bit mad tbh 😂
Thankyou all so much for your well wishes it means so much!

All the very best.
It is nearly 25 years since I was in your position so I no longer recognise all the acronyms. However, we were successful at the first attempt and my sister got triplets on her second attempt so it can happen!

Yanbu but you have to be realistic, and have an alternative plan/idea in place for your life if it fails, and a plan of when to say 'stop, no more.' - Or the whole process with destroy you and your relationship, moreso than TTC.

IVF does not work for the majority. Like 84% majority. (The success statistics of 22% are inflated by same sex couples who don't have fertility issues, they just need the medical help to put it where it needs to go with donor sperm).

You could be the lucky ones in that 16%, though!

We were TTC for over 12yrs. You dont forget the bad times, sadly. Even after we were lucky enough to have DS.

Also the one in three that get pregnant, does not mean one in three have a live birth, OP. Many of the pregnancies are forced from the progesterone suppositories when the body would've rejected those embryos initially, and then do anyway shortly after. Which is why so many IVF transfers end in early miscarriage too.

Be very careful about reading between the lines from the consultants and any fertility clinic. They are specialised in upselling and convincing you to keep trying, and paying for add-ons.

Good luck 💐