Despairing over my mother at this comment

[Pebbles16]

Just off phone with DM. She had cousins round today. Cousin's daughter is about 20, She has just got herself a lovely nannying job. Apparently a titled and v wealthy family. It's her second nannying job, she loves it. DM actually reported she said "may be she'll meet a rich man". I despair. Luckily DSis and I have good jobs and didn't get the "marry rich" memo. Do I just put it down to DM being a bit 1950s sometimes?

Yabu...it's the sort of thing lots of older people say. Quite a flippant comment. Sort of thing I'd probably say too

Just leave it. There are way more important issues to exercise your woke outrage on. She said an outdated thing and nobody died.

Not the point but I don't see how nannying is particularly helpful for finding men. Unless she means the dad of the family..

🙄 people just wait to get offended I swear.

It's just a joke, YABU!

Jesus christ if that upsets you what hope do you have if dealing with a real problem.its not a 1950s thing its just she want the best life for her. A flippant comment.

Where’s that eye roll emoji when you want it?

God, I wish DS would meet a rich woman... might tempt him out of his room and off his computer

It may well be, that with age and experience, she has seen the woman who married rich men had much better lives than those who married poor ones.

Your cousin has picked a career in childcare, it has a financial cap, there are very, very few nannies who earn over £40k, and those work long hours that dont fit round their own dcs. Realistically, your cousin will have a "coping" lifestyle unless she marries a man with a good wage/family money. Wishing her neice falls for someone who gives her a nice life rather than one who doesn't isnt something to be dispared over, at the point your cousin decided to become a nanny, the reality was her chance of a comfortable lifestyle would depend on who she married, not her own income.

Well that wasn't entirely the reaction I was expecting!
Just find it depressing that "marrying well" is even an aspiration.

Oh. And it wasn't a joke.

Take it from a nanny. We really don’t want to sleep with our rich bosses or their rich friends and family.

Actually I agree. My mum is very patronising to single ladies of any age. I have noticed if they mention they have a pet she will say (in the most patronising tone imaginable) well I suppose it’s a bit of company. Or if they refer to a hobby, she will say well I suppose it gets you out of the house.

I can see they want to slap her!!

Chocchocbuttons I am fairly sure you don't!

It was definitely an odd comment. Well done to your cousin's daughter, sounds like a great position.

its just an era thing. we worked in a hairdressers and the older clients insulted us regularly but never thought they were. they were just very direct. in fact im still insulted now if i think about it. 'oh you will get fat if you eat that' 'i dont like your hair that colour' i could go on. they are old and think they have earned the right to say what they like and to be fair they have and i cant wait for my turn haha...

I ‘married well’ it’s fab!!!!!

Maybe she was just joking? I wouldn’t take it too seriously.

Maybe she secretly reads a lot of romance novels? The "nanny and billionaire" trope is everywhere right now.

Ithinkmycatsevil it definitely was not a joke. This is what's upsetting me.

Get her that Cher quote on a t shirt.
"Mom, I am a rich man"

Ps seriously though, my mother has no idea how deeply she has internalised the patriarchy.
She wanted me to do well but without having let go of any of her ingrained patriarchal beliefs....