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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shall I keep my mouth shut?

19 replies

mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 14:53

Some of you may have seen my last thread about telling DP something his kids told me... and here I am again.

A few months back both step daughters, 6&7, went away with with their mom, her partner, his 10 year old daughter and their baby brother. Towards the end of the holiday, DSD7 slipped and cut her chin open and needed stitches. 6 year old confides in me quite a lot and has told me about an argument that happened with their mom and her partner and how his daughter and 7 yr old then argued "your mom started it" "no your dad started it" just child bickering, but then she hit her in the stitches and called her a bitch.

I mean obviously a bitch isn't the worst word in the world but it upsets me that she was hit in her poorly face! She's had a lot of trouble with her step sister recently and now I don't know if I just keep this to myself or tell their dad?

OP posts:
mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 14:55

This is the chin before the stitches, so was very sore.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/08/2019 14:57

Did the 6yr old say whether the 10yr old got in trouble for it?

If this was a few months back, I'm not sure I'd bother dragging it up now tbh.

Do you encourage her to talk to her dad and confide in him too?

Ilikethisone · 26/08/2019 14:59

The 6 year old, told you this happen to the 7 year old?
What has the 7 year old said?

mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:02

No they didn't tell anybody as they were arguing in the next room and then she forgot.

I do encourage her to tell her dad things but she says she likes telling me so that I can tell him instead. Strange I know but it makes her happy to tell me so I'm happy with it but don't like being in a situation of whether it needs to be passed on.

OP posts:
mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:02

7 year old said she did it, but she doesn't care because she's strong anyway!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/08/2019 15:04

I do encourage her to tell her dad things but she says she likes telling me so that I can tell him instead.

Is she scared of her dad's reaction?

I just took a quick look at your other thread that you mentioned and he did get angry about the taxi didn't he?

He then blamed you for telling him, so I wonder if she feels like she can't tell him these things?

HalfDeadHousePlant · 26/08/2019 15:05

Oh it's you - the one who was so disingenuous about spilling the beans about the taxi?
And with the husband going walkabout at midnight in some small village abroad?

Stop it.

ElizaDee · 26/08/2019 15:07

Who got who in the stitches? Your stepdaughters step sister or your DP's ex?

You need to give jk a ring!

ElizaDee · 26/08/2019 15:07

*Hit not got

Ilikethisone · 26/08/2019 15:18

Reading your other threads, it's clear why the daughter doesnt felt comfortable telling him.

The 7 year old got in an argument and got hit. And chose not to tell any adults. Violence isn't ok. But the 7 year old probably didnt say anything because she knew she would also be in trouble for something, probably arguing.

It was months ago. What you need to ask yourself is what do you want to achieve

You tell your dp, he kicks off, calls the mother, makes some outrageous lie to you about how she reacted, the mother cant really do anything as it was ages ago.

It does feel like you are looking for any opportunity to cause issues between your dp and ex. You know your dp can be an arse.

As an aside, I suspect that part of the problems the ex caused were actually your dp making shit up. Like he did last time.

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2019 15:47

It does feel like you are looking for any opportunity to cause issues between your dp and ex. You know your dp can be an arse.

I agree it does look at way, especially as this happened months ago.

mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:52

@HalfDeadHousePlant oh give over! Plenty of people find it stands for a 6 and 7 yr old to get a taxi on their own! Take your step mom issues elsewhere.

OP posts:
mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:53

@WorraLiberty I also agree with this which is why I haven't said anything. However when it eventually arises I don't want to it to be "well I told ... " and then I'm a secret keeper.

OP posts:
mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:53

Find it strange*

OP posts:
mmmcflurrys · 26/08/2019 15:54

@HalfDeadHousePlant and he actually hurt his ankle. Don't understand your issue.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/08/2019 15:55

OP it's not your problem if your DP's kids can't or won't talk to him.

It doesn't make you a 'secret keeper', especially when he loses his rag with you too over what his daughters tell you.

If he makes himself difficult to talk to, he has to live with the consequences.

Hadalifeonce · 26/08/2019 15:59

I think I would ask the child if they want you to do anything about it? If not keep it to, yourself, if they want the father to know, I would encourage them to tell him with you there.

AmIThough · 26/08/2019 16:02

Based on his reaction to taxi-gate I'd keep your mouth shut.

If it comes out and he asks why you didn't tell him, remind him of that.

flouncyfanny · 26/08/2019 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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