That dogs off lead don't = roam free?

[autumnalwishing]

We spent this morning walking round a country park type place where I would expect dogs off leads etc but close to owners. We were walking around an area when a dog came flying up to us circling and bearing its teeth (although I don't think he was angry - looked a bit odd actually, cross between excited and frustrated).

Ds8 is autistic and terrified of dogs (so this may cloud my judgement) he's been taught to always stand still, hands by his side, not say anything and not look at any dog around him if this happens. Normally the dog runs away as it gets no attention. (I hate that this happens regularly at all tbh)

This dog was circling him, teeth gnashing and slobbered all over his arm and shorts. Dh shouted out a few times 'who owns this dog?' And eventually an older couple sat nearby called him over and glared at us for quite a long time.

Ds then had a massive meltdown and we had to leave because the sensory overload of having the dog around him and the slobber all over his arm/shorts was too much. He's saying he'll never go back there now and the day is ruined 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Aibu to expect dogs off leads should be watched by owners and not let them get all up to other people? (And maybe an apology....)

Your son should not have gone through that. Big hugs for him (as he can handle anyway!). Off lead should only be allowed if the dog is still under your control. I love dogs and have a little one so I'm not anti-dog at all.

Do you have a helpful friend with a safe and friendly dog to help him get over this?

I'd have given them a good piece of my mind, OP.

This really, really annoys me. YANBU at all, OP - your poor DS.

We were on the beach a few months ago in Wales and a labrador came over to us and before I could stop it, had urinated onto the front section of our Maclaren, where DD's legs would usually rest. Thank goodness, DD wasn't in it at the time, but it was utterly grim. The owner was calling the dog but it was ignoring her. Don't have a bloody dog if you can't keep it under control - don't impose your lifestyle choice on the rest of us. I imagine the dog owner would have something to say if DD had urinated on her things...

Your poor DS, I don’t have his sensory issues, but as a child that would have terrified me so much I’d have never wanted to go back either.

Off lead ought to be for well controlled dogs only - if you can’t get your dog to leave people alone, it shouldn’t be off lead. I learned early with one of my dogs that she likes children a bit too much and couldn’t be trusted to recall. Luckily she is small and cute, and no one was distressed - but now she stays on the lead, and I keep her out of trouble.

People like this are lazy, lead walking takes more effort, attention and training, and all pet dogs should be trained in it. They can’t be arsed, so they feel the need to make it your fault.
So sorry you’ve had your walk ruined. I wish I could lend you my big dog for a walk, he’s a lovely old boy who gets pretty grumpy with other dogs getting ill mannered with “his” humans. Keeps the idiots and their dogs at bay with nothing more than a grumble and a curl of the lip.

I hate this. We get this a lot. My daughter is very nervy around dogs, and so a dog will come bounding over and the owner just shouts, "it's ok, he's very friendly..."
No, it's not ok! Your dog may be friendly but my daughter shouldn't have to deal with it, she hasn't asked or encouraged this interaction, and she cant escape it. It's not fair.
Like said above, if they cant be controlled they shouldn't be off the lead. Hope your boy is ok

So sorry your son went through this OP. I'm a dog lover and this would have annoyed even me! My dog is a very nervous dog, so she is always on lead and close by.

If they can't control their dog, the dog should be on lead. They should really be trying to sort the dogs behaviour!

YANBU, I hate dogs coming over to 'say hello'. It's getting worse unfortunately, almost everyone in the country seems to own a dog, and parks, woodlands and beaches are now seen as a place for dogs to run free.

Aibu to expect dogs off leads should be watched by owners and not let them get all up to other people? (And maybe an apology....)

Absolutely. We have 2 largish dogs, who have excellent recall - this is the furst thing we taught our dogs from puppyhood. If we were walking where dogs are allowed off lead we would not allow them to approach people or other dogs unless we were asked. If we were sitting our dogs would not be running around, they would be sitting by us. We realise that not everyone likes every dog, or even dogs at all.

I am sorry that your son had this awful experience, and the owners of the dog should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves - there are laws regarding out of control dogs. I read this www.gov.uk:

"Your dog is considered dangerously out of control if it:
*Injures someone
*makes someone worried that it might injure them"

Sorry for typos. I wrote quickly as I am so angry that this happened to your son.

YANBU

We have a young dog who's recall isn't 100% and she gets really excitable especially around children and wants to say hello. That means when we go anywhere she automatically gets put on the lead as soon as children are nearby.

My dog is rarely on a lead but he's an antisocial thing who avoids people and other dogs with excellent recall (aka i bothered to train him!). People like this owner ruin things for everyone else

Thanks all.

I was expecting 'yabu - if you go somewhere where dogs can go off lead you should expect it' as it seems everywhere we go (we live in a country and coastal region and are outdoors a lot) dogs are just everywhere.

Dh was really angry and would normally say something but ds needed sorting and getting out of there as a priority.

I'm so proud of him as even though he was terrified and hated being licked he still stuck to the rule of 'standing still, hands by his sides, don't scream or look' etc.

Just to add - don't think he'll ever get used to dogs - the unpredictability of them as a breed means he will never trust them! Luckily, he adores cats who are routine led and predictable 😂😂

He did really well to stick to your rules.
We do similar but say arms crossed with hands tucked into armpits, which keeps arms and fingers more out of the way.

To be fair, if people are dim enough to think it's ok to have an unruly dog off lead, they likely don't have the wits to know when to apologise.

YANBU at all. So sympathetic, especially for your DS. This happens a lot when walking in my area - and that is without a child who doesn't like dogs. Owners are completely inconsiderate - only last week, a dog ran up to me, very unwelcome, and the owner screamed abuse at me at the top of her voice, then invented some action she said I was doing to her dog (untrue) and threatened me with a fist in my face! Nice!
The main problem is that nobody seems to train their dogs, so they will not reliably come when called, and are not taught to not run up to people. In that case they should never be off the lead when in a public place.

YANBU. We have a dog that can be reactive and is never off lead because he gets tunnel vision when he sees another. He's a rescue. We live close to a lovely dog walking area that we can't use because people are piss poor at knowing where their hyped up, running round us in circles, offlead dogs are. My kid loves dogs and would have been scared by that, but that's not the point - they didn't have control.

Slight aside - our dog trainer says that when a dog is really happy to see someone, they sometimes grin. Her beautiful dalmatian has done it to me before (she knows I'm a soft touch when it comes to treats, ha!) complete with whole bum wagging and dafty tappy toes. It could have been that. Doesn't change the fact that YANBU, just thought it was interesting - I didn't know til she said.

Yanbu - Am quite refreshingly surprised by these answers too OP. My son is severely allergic to dogs (and unfortunately loves them) As much as we try not to put ourselves in situations where contact with them is more likely, it is becoming increasingly impossible now dog ownership is more prolific and they are much more accepted in places we go that they originally wouldn't have been - cinemas, city center shops etc, transport.
We've always received the response that 'your allergies, your problem, not mine' from the owners which I always thought was a bit unfair considering all parties (furry or not) should be able to share the same spaces if each took responsibility for not touching into each others actual 'personal' space and controlling their own child/dog. Doesn't have to be exclusive if everyone is respectful.
I do think dog ownership has changed a lot, before it seemed to be people got a dog as they genuinely loved animals and would train, care for them properly (and most still do)
But now I think there's a chunk of people who get one as a another status thing they feel entitled to, to tick off with little interest in the training, picking up their poo and proper care of them iyswim. Drives many of my responsible dog owners friends crackers especially the ones with their own nervous dogs or helping the rescue centre.
Hope your DS is ok, bless him.

I am a HUGE dog lover and that would have scared me. Your poor boy, sounds like he was very brave though and clearly trusts you loads!
I have one dog with brilliant recall and have fab voice control of him, he is off lead a lot and not interested in other people or dogs. The little guy is a bit over excited so he stays on the lead if there are other dogs/people around especially children.
But I never fail to be surprised by other dog owners selfishness and stupidity.
Sorry this happened on behalf of dog owners, we arent all bad!!

My dog has no sensible recall so he is only ever off lead in a dog park or an indoor dog play area.
It isn't fair to others to let out of control dogs roam around.

Your son (no one for that matter) should have been subjected to that.

I'm a horse rider and sadly come across this far too regularly. Thankfully I have a very long dressage whip that gives a nice crack around the backside of such dogs!

yanbu
that dog was not under close control under the dangerous dog act. I would suggest for next time to film/photo dog and owners and to report.

if that was me I would need medical attention for my allergic reaction - dogs saliva sets me off.

YANBU. I appreciate there are many responsible dog owners, but so many selfish people out there too who assume everyone loves their dog as much as they do! Last week my daughter was visibly very upset when a springer spaniel came bounding up to her, and the owner just strolls past with no attempt to recall it! I did tell her she was selfish and entitled after no attempt at an apology.

If a dog is off lead the owner needs to be watching it all the time and call it back if it approaches people. If the dog can't do this it needs to be on a lead. I don't let ds bother other people or their dogs and I expect the same in return.
Dogs who are left to charge through woods out of sight of their owner and then jump around you when they see you are a nuisance.
I find most owners act responsibly but there are a few that don't - and bank holidays often bring more of the second sort out.