to think DH is being unreadonable?

[Yolo89]

So I took my two DD's on holiday a week before DH joined us. They are still young and argue lots so it is hard work. DH had a week child free (albeit working) so I was hoping he'd arrive with a fresh energy and enthusiasm. Well he arrived wednesday night and thursday morning we went for a walk and both DD started whinging - one had a mosquito bite and didn't want to wear a shoe and was screaming. It was a difficult situation as the other was saying non stop 'carry me'. Anyway DH lost the plot and threw DD shoe in anger in front of a bewildered local. It was mortifying. I walked on so embarrassed and angry that DH got so angry so fast. He is depressed and has an issue with drinking and not seeking enough help but I fear all this .akes him sp angry all the time but he doesn't see it. He thinks it is DD but I feel she us mimicing his behaviour. I just feel so dragged down by his anger and irritability I dont know what to do. He says throwing the shoe is out of line bit doesnt do anythjng about it. Plus he has spent rhe whole time on his phone which drives me mad!!!! Help how do I approach all this? I've told him.to get counselling but he says he can't afford it. His patents offered to pay but nothing has happened. They dont get him..They think he should just pull himself together. I feel so stuck.

Yolo , just wondered how you are.
Sometimes drs can get nhs counciling if kids are suffering.
Social workers can help. There is not enough mental health help.
I am thinking about you

Thamk you cryalot and forgotmy coat - I really appreciate you checking in..I've just been away and gor back today. DH came for some of it. He came back early on hus own whilst I had DC. I called on Friday night snd he said the reception was bad in our house so he would call in a minute. Then he called back and I heard voices and asked where he was. Turns out he was out with work mates drinking. He lied as he knew I'd be unhappy. Yes I was especially when I could hear he was drunk. The next day I got a call from his work phone - he had had his phone stolen from his backpack on.the way home. No surprises there. He loses stuff like this lots. ie after drinking. It is so irresponsible. Like the time ge passed out on a dodgy street from.drinking and got woken up be someone dodgy..Backpack stolen..

I told him.he had lied and he just says sorry but not much more.

Ee had been seeing a nhs child psyhologist avout somethimg unrelated
bur did discuss DH depression.amd stinking.

I'm just home today and DH has retreated into bedroom on phone - like every night on the holiday. When he met us today he was happy tp see the children but not happy if you know what I mean. I can feel tension between us..I also see somepn
exuding no joy really.

IAfter spending time apart over the holidays it has become more apparent that his behaviour is not one of someone that 'normal'. Sorry to.use that word. I have to gey him to counselling asap as he is very angry and unhappy.

This is all I can do for now. He can't move feasibly at the moment and it doesn't feel like the.right thing. I do have a part time job so.can do a few hours.

Our relationship is tense and not really a relationship. I have forgotten what a normal relationship is at the moment

Hi @Yolo89. So sorry to hear he's drinking again.

How are things at home? I know you said your family live abroad, can they offer any support at all? I know none of us likes to feel we may be imposing on ourfamilies, hownever I'm sure they will want to know if you're struggling.

Sending you hugs and strength x

Could you suggest he go to stay with his parents for a while? It would give you a break and also, if his parents see first hand what he is like, they may be more inclined to follow through with the promise of funds for counselling.