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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you cater for kids at a kids party?

152 replies

FairfaxAikman · 26/08/2019 08:35

Was at a party for one of DS's nursery friends.
Parents are well off so I don't think it was a money issue.
Party in a leisure centre hall with a bouncy castle and proper paid entertainment for the kids - but no food! (Unless you count a single packet of crisps).
DS had only had a very light lunch as he'd fallen asleep for an hour before we went and I was expecting him to fill up on party food anyway.
All the kids were bombing about and clearly a lot of other parents had thought there would be food as their kids were obviously hungry.
No place near that we could have snuck out for a supermarket sandwich for them.
AIBU to think you feed the kids at a birthday party?

OP posts:
ImGenderfree · 26/08/2019 11:17

I find it surprising the rigid idea that there must always be food or you aren’t being a good host. I’ve taken my children to parties without food when they were older so 7/8 yo and I haven’t felt that the parents were rude or cheapskates. The invite stated no food so I planned around it. The children really enjoyed the activity and weren’t bothered about a sit down lunch. I know that the activities they did were expensive - if the children want to do that particular activity which means food is an additional expense the parents don’t want or can’t afford that is absolutely fine.

I’ve done parties without food when the children were older - mainly because one particular class at parties were horrific and the food was often thrown around and children upset. I wasn’t being a cheapskate I just didn’t want my or any other child upset on his birthday.

Toneitdown · 26/08/2019 11:25

I've never known a kids party where there were no snacks provided.

HeadlessGummyBears · 26/08/2019 11:30

Confused by what some posters mean by the fact that don’t food depending on the time of the party? I’m assuming cake and drinks were at least provided? If party bags and food were avoided due to fear of unnecessary waste, surely it doesn’t really matter what the time of the party is if there is a birthday cake and a drink to wash it down after. A slice of cake and a drink won’t cause that much waste? A cake can be bought from a supermarket and it doesn’t have to be from a patisserie or just baked if you’re quite adept at baking and drinks can be bought for the less than a pound.

ImGenderfree · 26/08/2019 11:39

I’m interpreting no food as not providing sandwiches, pizza etc as part of a sit down lunch. The parties I went to without food still provided drinks and cakes.

Firecarrier · 26/08/2019 11:45

There should absolutely be food. I've never been to one without - and I've been to lots. Unless maybe there was some specific 'activity' and it was nowhere near meal time AND it is made clear on the invitation.

Lweji · 26/08/2019 11:46

YANBU.

I've never been to a kids party without food. Even if it's only a few sandwiches, popcorn and jelly or something like that.

The timing is not helpful. I wouldn't know if they would provide lunch or not, although I'd probably ask the parents.

But, unless the party took place for 30 min, I'd expect kids to be hungry by the end of it, cake or no cake. And cake is not plenty, nor appropriate food for a hungry child.

Waveysnail · 26/08/2019 11:47

Our leisure centre want nearly £5 a head for party food

EssentialHummus · 26/08/2019 11:48

I’ll be honest, until this thread I assumed a party outside of mealtimes didn’t need food. My only child is a toddler (limited experience of kids’ parties). She and all her friends eat at pretty set times. She has a bday coming up, 10-12 noon, and I was going to do sandwiches etc as a contingency but didn’t think they were a need.

Qwerty19 · 26/08/2019 11:49

Yes at anytime. I'm doing dsd on the weekend at 4pm and I'm doing food.. Not loads as I know people will go home and have tea I expect. But there will be the normal kids party food..

MRex · 26/08/2019 11:51

I think it's actually annoying not to offer food, unless it's older kids and specified on the invitation, because kids always want to eat and it's usual for a host to provide something. I've had a few strange experiences with one year old parties. One supplied raw carrots, raw cucumbers and sweet ella's kitchen smoothies for the kids, so that's two choking risks and sugar. Luckily there was pizza explicitly handed out for adults, so we were all feeding the kids pizza. Then there was another one year old party where the party started at 12 but there was no food at all for babies and lunch for adults served at 3pm. I had to ask for bread and cheese, wash salty dressing off tomatoes in the salad etc to make up half a lunch for DS before he could share the adult meal after his nap, clearly a one year old can't be expected to wait until 3pm for lunch! I always used to take some snacks but I never visit people without enough for a full meal for DS now.

ChildminderMum · 26/08/2019 11:56

Essential - what's a meal time? Lunch can be any time from 11.30-2 and tea from 4.30-7 so the only ambiguous time slot really is 2-4 or a party ending before 11am.
And actually even a 2-4 party I'd expect snacks, cake and drinks.

10am-12pm the norm would definitely be a party lunch at the end.

Hahaha88 · 26/08/2019 12:05

@EssentialHummus if the party ends at lunchtime I would 100% be providing lunch. And if I went to one that didn't I'd be reallyHmm. I would never bring lunch for after a party. If you have anyone using public transport it could be another hour after the end of the party before they get home. Tired hungry kids on a bus. Urgh. You definitely need to provide lunch or at least warn all your guests you aren't

EssentialHummus · 26/08/2019 12:09

Essential - what's a meal time?

Among the ten or so toddlers I see regularly (who are the party guests), it's breakfast on wake up, snacks at 10.30, lunch at 12, snack after nap and supper at 5.

I planned quite a lot of food for DD's party, but more for adults/out of a sense that you provide stuff, but frankly I expected most of it to go uneaten.

EssentialHummus · 26/08/2019 12:10

(And fwiw round my way it's also very normal to bring your own toddler's lunch if you plan to feed them, esp. for the first time mums like me. I always found this a bi odd, but people do it.)

ChildminderMum · 26/08/2019 12:12

If you know most children eat at 12, and they will be at your party at 12, then surely it is pretty obvious you need to provide a party lunch!

EssentialHummus · 26/08/2019 12:19

What's happened at previous parties that, like mine, are billed as "10 until lunchtime" is that parents either leave around 12 and have lunch at home (everyone is very local so not much transit time), or people who plan to stay bring food. I always assumed they didn't want toddlers staying for food then falling asleep on the way home, and screwing up their naps. Or they have fussy toddlers (some evidence of this). Or they're a bit neurotic themselves about their kids not eating salt/whatever (some evidence of this too).

I don't have a horse in this race - that's simply what I've seen done around me for the last two years.

Blue7 · 26/08/2019 12:21

A party should have food.

MRex · 26/08/2019 12:28

@EssentialHummus - it's perfectly acceptable for people to bring whatever they want to feed their kid, especially younger ones who are picky or have allergies. That's a choice for the guests to make, however we're talking about the hosts, where it does seem very inhospitable to not provide anything as options for those kids who aren't fussy. I can't imagine inviting an adult into my home and not offering them a drink, or at mealtime not offering food, so I wouldn't do it to a child either. Imagine you're invited to a friend's house for 6pm and find they aren't giving any dinner (even a takeaway) - that would be just as strange as not offering little ones their lunch at 12pm.

PascaleBrockman74 · 26/08/2019 12:37

All kids these days just food and technology. No wonder they’re all fat! I recommend, if you are serving food at a party, to serve only healthy options such as yummy fruits, veggies and healthy dips! If sandwiches are on the menu, use wholewheat bread! That’s how my Alejandro stays fit as a fiddle!

Happy partying! Smile

Lweji · 26/08/2019 12:37

if the party ends at lunchtime I would 100% be providing lunch. And if I went to one that didn't I'd be really

But at least the parents would still be able to feed their children afterwards.
If the party starts at lunch time and no food is provided, the children risk going on without food for hours.

TeacherDeMFL · 26/08/2019 12:40

*No wonder kids here so fat. Party started after lunch at 1pm. Cake is plenty of food.
I think you are ALL BU to expect tons junk food after lunch.
*
@Azeema 100% agree with u there, kids these days eat too much

Lweji · 26/08/2019 12:41

I recommend, if you are serving food at a party, to serve only healthy options such as yummy fruits, veggies and healthy dips! If sandwiches are on the menu, use wholewheat bread! That’s how my Alejandro stays fit as a fiddle!

My DS stuffs his face in junk food and he is very fit (although you probably mean lean).

Children are growing and need protein, carbs and (shock, horror) fat. As well as lots of vitamins, and some (but a lot less than you seem to think) fibre.

Plus, if kids can't have junk food at parties, when are they supposed to? Parties are for the junk food, fgs.

(and now you'll say it was a joke post - it kind of reads like that, and yet...)

listsandbudgets · 26/08/2019 13:22

I can't believe there are people who think its acceptable not to feed people at a party especially a children's party. Who cares about the time of day... no pink wafers, hula hoops, jam, ham and cheese sandwiches. and cake . .. its just not a party Grin

Seriously though I would never run a party without food whatever the time of day

Aprillygirl · 26/08/2019 13:35

Oh but listsandbudgets then you are single handedly causing child obesity because no parent would think to omit/give a very light lunch/tea if their child was going to a party. We just want to feed them and feed them until they're sick dontcha know.

stayathomer · 26/08/2019 13:36

I’ll be honest, until this thread I assumed a party outside of mealtimes didn’t need food. My only child is a toddler (limited experience of kids’ parties). She and all her friends eat at pretty set times. She has a bday coming up, 10-12 noon, and I was going to do sandwiches etc as a contingency but didn’t think they were a need.

Child friendly crisps, pinwheel sandwiches, some buns, the mini packs of buttons and a few jellies would generally be the norm around here for a toddler party

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