Anxiety seems to be getting out of hand

[Mysticalia]

NC for this as I feel incredibly stupid even just typing this so please be gentle. It might be long.

For many years I suffered with anxiety and depression. In the early years I saw psychiatrists and psychologists to try and help me tackle my anxiety.

For about 3 years now I have improved dramatically, I'd even go so far as to say I feel like my old self again. I have a great fiancée, a beautiful DC who means the world to me, and a loving supportive family.

Yet, I can feel my anxiety creeping back in. And it's all over things I can't control. My DP went to bed early tonight, and I popped the news on just to have a catch up, and I can't tell you how unbelievably terrified I am for, not my future, but my DC's.

I was sat there, watching about Brexit, the climate change situation, the general feel of division and hate in the world, and I feel guilty. Guilty for bringing him into this world that just seems so close to falling apart.

I don't regret having him. He is my world and I would do anything for him, but I just can't stop thinking about why this is the way the world has to be. My anxiety is just sitting in my throat and weighing on my chest, and I feel incredibly stupid and small.

Am I being silly? Does anyone else have times where they feel like this? If so, how do you cope with it? Do you think I should see my GP? Thank you if you have made it this far

Yes, I have had times when I've felt like this. It can be soul-destroying.

There is nothing you can do to change what is happening in the world, but you can go to your GP and tell her/him how you're feeling.

I found that medication really helped me. It did take a while to kick in but gradually I started to feel calmer and less afraid.

I know just how you feel at the moment. It's horrible. But it can be improved.

Go and get some help. I hope things improve for you soon.

Thank you for your reply. I just feel like I've failed my DS in someway. Perhaps I do need some medication, I've just been fighting it for so long now it feels like a step back

I do not think for one moment that you've failed your child.

I do understand that feeling though. I have definitely felt that I failed all my DC (all four of them) and for different reason sometimes.

But yes - bringing them into a shit world where everything is a struggle and nobody gets on with one another - that makes me feel awful.

Having said that, I genuinely believe that none of my children would wish that they hadn't been born.

Your love for your own child is obvious. It does sound like you need some medication and counselling. I had both (I am still on the medication and it keeps me on the level) and the difference between me without medication - versus - me with medication - is very obvious.

I hope that makes sense.

It isn't a failing in human beings to need help. If that help takes the form of counselling and medication then so be it. You have not failed your child by bringing him into the world. And you will not be failing him if you seek help.

I had anti-depressants and sleeping pills. I also had diazepam for a while.

I no longer take sleeping pills or diazepam. But I do still take a small dose of an anti-depressant.

I've tried coming off them completely but I always end up hitting a wall so I think it's better just to stay on them for the moment.

Please don't think you've failed. If you have, then I most certainly have.

I am in a much better place now, thanks to treatment. Nowadays it is possible for sufferers of anxiety to feel so much better.

@SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum thank you so much, that has helped lift the weight in my chest a bit. Thank you for your kind words.

I am making an appointment with my GP for tomorrow and going to tell them everything. Also going to avoid watching the news for awhile too!

I am glad you are in a better place with yourself, sometimes you forget how hard these battles can be

Glad you're going to the doctor, you need to nip anxiety in the bud and you've recognised that. Let us know how you get on.

Update - Would just like to thank you both 😊 I have been to see my GP who has helped me and prescribed me some anti-anxiety tablets. It's early days but they seem to be working. I've also decided to stop watching the news, as although there is a lot of important issues going on now, it's not doing my mental health any good watching it.

Again, thank you for your kind words x

Glad you are feeling better. I also try and avoid the news, it's just too much and can sometimes tip me over the edge. I once read something by journalist Lucy Mangan which resonated with me - she said that we are not designed to be able to deal with all the terrible news all over the world all at once. It's overwhelming. Technology and communications have enabled us to know too much about what's going on! So I just switch it off.

I have had anxiety to varying extents throughout my life. Having young children was a period when my symptoms were definitely heightened. Also the times when I have worked too hard or had too many plates to spin. You will get through this and you will feel better but it’s only through seeking help that I came through these periods. I now take the view that I have to actively manage my mental health as if I don’t, it can quickly take me by surprise and I’m left floundering. Medication, exercise, meditation, yoga, quiet time, being outdoors, avoiding the news, less alcohol, more sleep and the patience of good friends are what keep me on the straight and narrow. Most of the time. Be kind to yourself; it’s what makes you uniquely you. Channel the struggle into the realisation that you are all the stronger for it. Good luck.