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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Good evening 'netters. Would you be pissed off at this?

27 replies

FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 18:52

I am on a weight watchers diet and lost 5lbs last week so I am really happy it is successful so far....i'm dreaming of lying on a Turkish beach in a bikini, that is urging my on to do well!!!

A relative is also on the diet for a few days. I really want her to do well but the last few days she went totally over her calorie allowance and today she did so well until teatime just now.

There was both us dieters at the table and a non dieter who was on sausage and chips. Both us dieters had a WW meal but there was a side dish of greasy, calorie-laden food on the table for the non-dieter. My relative had the meal then started on the side dish and went double her calorie intake allowance. I was really upset as I feel as I am dieting too she shouldn't been eating those things infront of me especially as I would've died to eat such lovely yummy food but I stayed strong and as a fellow dieter she should be supportive. The non-dieter can eat what he likes but for the dieter, I was upset at her. Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
moondog · 06/08/2007 18:53

Yes

Very

You are rsponsible for yourself not her,and vice versa.

Quattrocento · 06/08/2007 18:54

Ooh I think you were being unreasonable. You should've supported her and whisked away the calorie-laden stuff, implored her to remember her teenage self, and generally guilt-tripped her into not eating the naughty stuff.

Peachy · 06/08/2007 18:55

stupid no

a tad unfair perhaps

its up to her what she does

Just congratulate yourself on your exceptional willpower instead

pooka · 06/08/2007 18:55

Think YABU to be honest. If she wants to eat over her calorie allowance, she should be able to. At least by eating ww meal there'd be an element of damage limitation (and sheer endurance if you ask me - sounds horrible).

But you do have permission to not be particularly sympathetic if she doesn't lose weight and complains about it.

Peachy · 06/08/2007 18:55

remember teenage self

that would involve gaining three stone and being 14 stione then

lurvely

GibbonInARibbon · 06/08/2007 18:56

stupid? no

unreasonable? oh yes

JiminyCricket · 06/08/2007 18:58

I would feel highly superior in that situation and let it spur me on. What she does is up to her.

madamez · 06/08/2007 18:58

The diet industry's a vicious woman-hating con anyway. Eat what you like.

Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 18:58

I shouted at her when she ate them. I am dissapointed she is not doing as well as she can.

Did you lose the weight from your teenage years Peachy?

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 06/08/2007 18:59

Peachy - were you not peachy as a teenager then? Must be nice to be a tubby teen if the quid pro quo is lifelong slenderness and peachiness.

JeremyVile · 06/08/2007 19:00

You shouted?

Get a grip woman.

Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 19:00

I think to myself that I will feel amazing when i've finally lost the weight and she will be sad because she'll still be fat but I want her to do something before she's a size 30 because that will make her really more ill than she is now.

OP posts:
Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 19:01

Oh shut up JeremyVile.

OP posts:
Peachy · 06/08/2007 19:01

erm, or pg-induced acne LOL

Sadly I was a total minger of a teenager, really ansty, fat with NHS spcs and only washed my ahir when amde to- every (eeek) 60 days or so

Am ashamed now of course

EscapeFrom · 06/08/2007 19:01

Not her problem what you decide not to eat - not your problem when you are slim and she is porky.

Peachy · 06/08/2007 19:02

Oha nd I lost loads after teen yeras (not very healthily I should add)

then I re-gained with the babies and lost three stone or so a few years back, have put a little back on as I was advised to for medical reasons pre-pg (linked to high risk of hyperemesis), but will just trot back to WW when abby here- really loved WW actually

Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 19:04

Do you feel better within yourself being more slender Peachy?

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 06/08/2007 19:04

YABU to be pissed off, not sure why you would be upset because someone else is eating greasy crap on their diet really. Especially if you maintained your excellent willpower.
You should be feeling smug and saintly!

Peachy · 06/08/2007 19:05

Usually yes

I'm not meant to be a bean thin person (best weight 9 - 10 stones) but when I am right it amkes me feel very confident

Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 19:06

I am feeling smug and saintly but everytime I even mention the diet she tells me to shut up. She even had a right go at me when I told her my weight loss for this week. She isn't even trying on the diet.

OP posts:
Original poster
FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 06/08/2007 19:08

Ahh well done Peachy The WW diet is great. I like the freedom it gives me and their meals aren't so bad at all, just tiny!

OP posts:
Sobernow · 06/08/2007 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowerybeanbag · 06/08/2007 19:09

But whether or not she is trying is up to her surely? Unless she has specifically asked you to keep an eye on her eating.
And without having a go, perhaps you should not talk so much about your diet? If you are doing well and she is not, you rabbiting on about it may make her feel like more of a failure and therefore be more likely to think 'oh well may as well have some chips then'. In the 'I've had one Pringle, may as well finish the tube' fashion

nightowl · 06/08/2007 19:11

dieting is hard for some people. she's not deliberately being cruel eating crap in front of you. she's probably feeling rubbish that she couldn't resist it. feel happy (not smug) that you have more willpower and accept that folks slip up, she still needs your support to get back on track.

Ags · 06/08/2007 19:15

From someone with LONG LONG LONG experience of dieting (still fat though!), I often found that if I was dieting with a friend I invested too much in their success or failure which then gave me an excuse to relapse.

(For instance, I've been really good this week and lost 2lbs and she ate all those chips the other night and still lost 3lbs. Thats not fair, I'm going to have some chips now.)

Completely childish I know but my relationship with food and dieting is all about childishness!

I really suggest you forget about her dieting. To be honest it sounds like she is not up for it at the moment and believe me, no matter how much you want her to lose weight, until she decides to do it and her head is in the right place, she will not do it. Concentrate on yourself and don't be too upset at her lack of support, it really sounds as if she has none to give. You are doing really well. Let your weight loss so far give you even more motivation to keep going. Good luck.