Aibu Not to do a party for my DS 2nd Birthday?

[whenweallfallasleep]

DS turns two soon. He hasn't got many toddler friends nearby, some of our friends have babies but they are over an hour away. He has a few cousins who he loves, but they're away on holiday over his birthday.

For his first birthday we had a little party at ours, family and a few of our friends little ones mentioned above, cake and presents and food. It was nice but cramped!

This year my DM is suggesting a village hall or similar. I don't think he has enough friends to fill a hall, and instead would like to take DS out on his birthday somewhere fun, and then in the evening have a little tea party with cake and nice snacks, decorate the living room, inviting his grandparents and uncle who live near by, and it to just be us and them. He can blow out candles and open pressies.

My parents don't think this is enough, and that he should have a proper party. Will I regret it if we don't? I'm first trimester of pregnancy and shattered lol.

That sounds like a lovely plan to me! I did similar with my DD for her second birthday. I invited her one closest playmate and that girl’s parents, plus my brother and his fiancée, and we had a low key dinner at home with DD’s favourite foods and games. I considered a larger party, but actually my DD is going through a bit of a shy phase in crowds and just as I was about to send out a mass invite, I realized a big party would be fun for me but a nightmare for her!

Two is still very little. I think a family-only event is completely fine (and probably more up a two-year-old’s alley)

I'm so pleased you asked this as we've decided not to throw DS a party for his 2nd. He had a big 1st party in a hall with bouncy castle!, soft play etc as I have a large extended family with alot of children of a mixed age range. It was alot of fun but exhausting and very expensive.

This year, instead of replicating the above we're taking him to a caravan holiday for 5 days as he loved our summer caravan holiday so much and got so much joy from it that, that is his 'party' and then having a tea party for grandparents on a separate date.

I really wouldn't worry and would do what you think is best/most enjoyable and cherish every moment.

Of course you’re not! He’s 2, he doesn’t care 😁
It’s not for him it’s for them. Just tell them, if they want to organise, throw and supervise (erm, and pay for!) a party in an hall, they’re very welcome to do so.

When he’s 8 he may (may not) regret it. He seriously won’t now.

We did 1st bday but not for our DDs 2nd- by the time she’s 3 and has more speech I think she will have more “friends” to invite from the nursery who she interacts with. 2nd just seemed wasteful- we had a cake with the cousins, it was lovely and enough

We are planning similar to you - just a day out (including a trip on a bus, very exciting obvs) and then cake and presents with grandparents/aunties. Honestly I think anything more than that would be a bit pointless and overwhelming at this age.

my dd was 2 a week ago and I took her to a parish play thing, like a toddler group but suitable for older kids, and mentioned it to a few local friends whoever could come brought a picnic and I supplied cake.

perfect.

Of course YANBU.
What you are suggesting is entirely appropriate for a pre-schooler's party.
Your dm had the opportunities to make those sorts of decisions when you were little, now it is for you and your dh to decide.

For DS 2nd birthday we went to Butlins (never again!) but he had a fab time. He was invited to a lot of parties through nursery and did play with the same children, so we did a lunch play date with three who live near us. He is now 4 and we still haven’t had a party, but instead choose to do an activity - the zoo, CBeebies land etc. Just the three of us. We then have a family tea with his nana and aunts at some point during the week - he gets a cake and loves it.

It’s very easy to get sucked into “this is what you should do”, but just don’t anything you don’t want to or that you feel you have to. When DS starts asking for a party we will have a chat about what he wants as it may me be a whole church hall thing and I’d rather give him a day for him, not for everyone else as that’s “what you do”.

*it may not be a church hall or whole class thing - seems to be the done thing near me.

2 is still very little. A trip out and a small family party at home sound great and not too overwhelming. Don’t fall into the trap of doing a big party every year.

YANBU. Do what you want. No need for the palava of a village hall party for a 2 year old.

What you're planning sounds lovely - he's only 2 & unlikely to care, realise or remember if he has a big party or not, plus you must be shattered being pregnant in this heat. Tell them to butt out & stick to your guns. Family are so rude at times- they all have an opinion about how you're parenting & it's usually none of their business!!

We didn't bother for dd.

Partly because her family (uncles/cousins) couldn't be bothered with her or us and also it seemed like alot of effort for something she wouldn't remember.

If she has made more friend through nursery by next year I may do something but as she is a summer baby she may end up with holidays for her to birthday and then a party when school is back

Your plan sounds lovely and I'm sure he'll love it.

No need for a village hall he will have a great time and feel special with his day out and cake/presents

Yanbu

I'm at the stage that I'm regretting that I started doing big parties for ds.
His 6th birthday is upcoming and now we have to have a big party because that's what he's used to from the last few years.
I tried to bribe him not to have one this year but it didn't work. I hate the stress of it all.

Hang off as long as you can.